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The Messenger:
The Story of Joan of Arc
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Milla Jovovich, John Malkovich, Faye Dunaway, Dustin Hoffman
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Kiddie Movie: Nope.
Date Movie: Doubtful.
Gratuitous Sex: Nothing fun to watch.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots.
Action: Lots.
Laughs: Not particularly.
Memorable Scene: Nothing in particular.
Memorable Quote: "But there's an arrow in your leg." Joan - "So there is. Doesn't mean you can't climb!"
Directed By: Luc Bessson
Produced By: Patrice Ledoux

The Messenger:
The Story of Joan of Arc

A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - R

It's 2:21 Long

A Review by
Big Cooter
Ok, admittedly when I went to see this movie my knowledge of Joan of Arc and what she did in her life was limited. I knew that she was a French revolutionary of some sort. I knew that she was burned at the stake, for which was a major cause. But I didn't know much else.

This movie depicts the story of her life. Joan, Milla Jovovich (of "Fifth Element" fame, hubba hubba), was a very li'l girl when France was being overrun by the English. She boar witness to a great many gruesome events all of which led to her astute faith in God. Actually, I believe that she was a very devout person from the get go, but these incidents only strengthened her plight. At any rate, she became very bitter and wanted nothing more than God's guidance to understand what was going on around her and as to why these happenings must happen. In turn, God speaks to her and tells her to save France. In turn, she does so, gets the new French King crowned, and eventually her quest leads to her capture and sale to the English who eventually burn her at the stake, for they felt her a witch.

I think that pretty much sums up the movie in a nut shell. Actually, seeing that Joan was only 19 when burned alive, I would almost be so bold to say that sums up her life. Ok, I won't belittle her life like that as she was a truly great leader and reclaiming France from the onslaught of the English should be considered no small chore, especially for an illiterate peasant girl.

Milla does a fine job in a speaking part, 'member she was an alien in Fifth Element (yeah yeah I liked her in that movie lay off!). And it seems like everyone's favorite actor of the end of this millennium, John Malkovich does an interesting (if not small) job of the soon to be King of France (Charles the 7th if I recall correctly). He is relatively laughable when he is quite the nervous King in waiting as the English move further and further into France. But when Joan, I think they called her Jeanne the whole time (guess my French isn't very good), saves Orleans and restores it from English occupancy, he turns into the arrogant prick that most would definitely consider royalty, appreciative of nothing that Joan had done for him, and in fact, he doesn't come too far from actually handing her over to the English himself.

At any rate, I did enjoy this movie. The battle scenes were nice and gory, the motivation Joan provides is a li'l lacking but it did inspire the French, and the lack of a sex scene all make this movie a 4 stars out of 5 job from me, Big Cooter. See ya at the movies!


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