MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:44 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, David Morse, Sarah Roemer, Carrie-Anne Moss
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Dreamworks
Release Date: 2007
Kiddie Movie: It’s meant for the teens. Keep the little ones at home.
Date Movie: Only if she likes teen thrillers.
Gratuitous Sex: Just bathing suits.
Gratuitous Violence: Sadly not gratuitous.
Action: Just running and screaming.
Laughs: There are some chuckles.
Memorable Scene: When Kale gets back at his “ding-dong-ditch” hooligans.
Memorable Quote: Nothing really.
Directed By: D.J. Caruso

All I have to say is “Damn you filmmakers! Damn you for taking a movie that had potential if it were rated ‘R,’ and taking out all of the ‘what would have been great stuff’ out so that it ended up PG-13.” Such is my end take on “Disturbia.”

“Disturbia” gives us Shia LeBeouf as Kale. He seems to be a good kid and actually prefers to go fishing with his dad rather than hanging with his friends. Sadly dad ends up dead and Kale is screwed up. After punching his Spanish teacher (who so deserved to get punched), Kale finds himself under house arrest, with an ankle bracelet, and mom (Carrie-Anne Moss) further punishes him by canceling both his X-Box and iTunes subscriptions. Tired of gluing Twinkies together, Kale starts spying on the neighbors, especially the new neighbor-girl Ashley (Sarah Romer).

But strange things are afoot in Disturbia Lane, namely there might be a serial killer living in the neighborhood and after Kale’s buddy Ronnie (Aaron Yoo) and Ashley come on board, it’s time for our young sleuths to investigate. But the might-be killer, Mr. Turner (David Morse in super, creepy form) is on to our meddling kids, and subtly at times, but not-so-subtly at other times, lets the would-be detectives know that he knows that that are watching him, and that they should know that he is watching them.

So, yea, a couple of times Kale goes outside the confinements of his house arrest and the cops come, and they even almost go along with his story about his neighbor being a killer, but of course there is something else dead in the bloody tarp, and Mr. Turner is free for a little while longer.

Can Kale save Ashley and Ronnie and Mom? Of course he can. What kind of uplifting movie would this be if he didn’t? But it’s not really meant to be an uplifting movie, it’s supposed to be a thriller, and I suppose, in the end, it’s not bad, as long as you suspend a little disbelief of your own.

Look, the trailers pretty much give a lot of this movie away and that’s too bad. We know Kale goes outside of his “safe” zone. We know the new girl next door plays with his affections. We know the neighbor is creepy and a killer. And since “Disturbia” isn’t rated “R” it is easy to guess that things will end up happy, that Ashley won’t get naked (though she is hot in her bathing suit), and that the murdering and slashing will be boring.

Now that previous paragraph isn’t meant to say the movie sucks, because I actually liked “Disturbia” once things got rolling. The problem I really had with the movie was it took too long to get there. We get the extended set-up that Kale is a mixed-up kid: Got it. We get the extended set-up that the hot, new girl moves in and that Kale likes her: Got it. We get the extended set-up that Kale starts spying on the neighborhood: Got it. And it all takes a little too long until creepy neighbor dude is forced to play his hand, and Kale saves the day. Again, got it.

“Disturbia” probably won’t do much for you if you are an adult because this movie has been PG-13’d down for the, well, PG-13 crowd. With some easy tweaks this could have really been a movie that played for everyone, but since I haven’t grown up, well, I guess I still liked it. It’s 3 stars out of 5, but “Disturbia” could have been a 5 star thriller if they didn’t make it for the teen folks.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!