I was fairly content in my lack of planning to see the new “Star Wars: The Force Awakens,” but then came the Facebook taunts. Thank God, as I wrote on my Facebook post, for “Best. Wife. Ever.”
Like many a Star Wars fan, as the publicity machine began, every new trailer brought the hope of the return of the franchise to the greatness it once was, the “Please don’t give away too much of the story” moments, and built the excitement in me to see the movie. Pre-sales for tickets were announced, but I was too big and slow, like the dinosaurs, in getting initial tickets for the Thursday night screenings, let alone the opening weekend. A little bummed I figured I would see it eventually, and then some jealousy would hit me when my nephew mentioned he was going to the Star Wars marathon.
Alas, I accepted the fact that I would have to wait until over a week after it opened to see the film as my wife secured the first batch of decent, reserved seats she could find. Sure, I could have struggled with lines and general admission seating to see it earlier, but really, in our world of “I must be coddled,” comfy seats without having to wait in a line seemed so much nicer. I could wait. Or could I?
Enter “Facebook taunting.”
It began with my nephew posting on Facebook as he anticipated the marathon, “I don’t think 4 am can come soon enough!! Philip, Claudio, Jeff, ready for nerd immersion day?!?!”, and then his being “Checked-In” by his buddy, as they went through the day, including a wonderful post of “One down. Six more to go. Episode 2 Attack of the Clones next. Also 2 Hot Dogs for breakfast.” Mmm, movie theater hot dogs! Then there were the countless, okay, maybe just a few, of my other Facebook friends “Checking in” to see the movie on premier night, and my disappointment in my lack of planning really kicked in. My wife, I believe, could see the disappointment in my face.
Enter “Best. Wife. Ever.” Part I.
With reserved tickets pretty much sold out everywhere, seeing “Check-ins,” and the fans who planned ahead being on the news saying insightful one-word reviews like “Comfortable,” (Really, dude, that’s the best you could come up with?), on Friday morning I was in “Missing the Opening of Star Wars” hell. A weekend of every commercial and Facebook post reminding me that I was lame and should have planned accordingly awaited. Blah. Then, all of a sudden, my wife called me, “I found a theater that has seats… I’m getting two tickets for 6pm.” I was shocked, figured they must have opened up an extra theater for the increased demand, and there was my wife, internet searching guru that she is, securing us seats! All I was thinking was that I have the best, wife, ever, and my morning was filled with the anticipation of seeing what might be the best movie of all time, on maybe the best date-night, ever! “I’m seeing Star Wars. I’m seeing Star Wars.” I was singing in my head! But oh, how a wonderful, anticipation-filled day can quickly turn. Daily responsibilities turned into fire drills, frustration, and utter disappointment filled my fingers as I had to text my wife, “Movie’s not gonna happen.” Not the start to the weekend I had eagerly anticipated. Not the best date-night, ever. And no “Star Wars” narcissistic check-in for me. Open up the bottle of wine – I am depressed. I’ll continue to have to wait for another week to see the movie. Boo hoo. Woe is me.
Enter “Best. Wife. Ever.” Part II.
With me still in the “I should have seen the movie already” doldrums early on Saturday morning, in a fog of what was now a crappy weekend, my wife, who many times has the smarts in the household, decided to check the theater we would have seen the movie at the night before to see if there might be tickets available for Saturday evening. “There are reserved tickets open for tonight. Here, look at the seating chart, just about everything is available.” Holy shit, they must be releasing tickets on the day of the show and not allowing pre-sales! Suddenly a weekend of being bummed turned back into a day of geek anticipation, of knowing I haven’t seen any spoilers yet to ruin any surprises, and as the day quickly flew by it was finally time for me to get to be a geek narcissist and announce to my Facebook friends that yes, I was seeing “Star Wars: The Force Awakens,” and that I have the “Best. Wife. Ever.”
So here I type, in Star Wars bliss, thanks to the prudence of my wife. The movie was great, it lived up to my hype, my quest is now complete, and I can’t wait for Episode VIII. And yet I remain a little unfulfilled. Why? Because my nephew is really the cooler one – he did the marathon – All six, previous Star Wars movies in order, with the day topped off with “Star Wars: The Force Awakens.” I must admit I am jealous of his being able to go to the marathon, but alas, my lack of planning and a visit to my sister got in the way. Really, though, who would want to plant their ass in a movie theater seat for some 18 hours, eating nothing but Raisinettes and hot dogs in a coffin, while drinking insane amounts of Diet Coke? This guy, that’s who! I know I’m that guy, but I do wonder: Would you spend a day in a theater for a movie marathon?
That’s it for this one! L8R!!