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April 15, 2008

It's "Mariah Carey is in The House!" in Your Best Randy Jackson Impression Week

By: The Dude on the Right
I used to be a fan of Mariah Carey back in her singing days, when she was soulful and just different enough from Whitney Houston to make me like them both.  Now she seems to be a lot more about club and dance music, but I guess that's where the money is at.  She's the mentor of this sad-sack of singers, and, fine, most of them aren't sad sacks, but most of them really need to learn how to perform because they can already sing.  I wonder if Kristy Lee Cook will turn a Mariah song into a country song... I guess we'll find out as the show goes along.

Let's go...

David Archuleta
- Sings - "When You Believe" by Mariah/Whitney?
 - Mariah thinks his singing is just beautiful, and David keeps things slow, which has become his forte.  Nice leather pants, he knows his element and is working it (though I would like to see him branch out and try to rock).  Right now the biggest problem I have with him is he can't open up his eyes enough to look like he is confident.  He's a squinty guy.  Hopefully being first won't hurt him so people don't forget about him by the end of the night.

Carly Smithson
- Sings - "Without You" by Badfinger/Harry Nilsson
- She covered up the tattoo, which is nice, and she picked a song that isn't really a Mariah song which lets her sort of get out the shadow of Mariah for us older folks.  She did good, looks better tonight as a singer, but this is a song that needs a performance, which she didn't give.  Her hope is that Mom's are remember this song from its original heyday, and vote for her.

Syesha Mercado
- Sings - "Vanishing" by, well, Mariah Carey
 - Sings nice enough, but this song doesn't lead one to be a performer.  I think I'm stuck on the performer part because so far, for the many weeks, no one is looking to be one.  She's "whoa, a whoa, a whoa-ing" all over the place, but even though she sang nice enough, where is the being a star?

Brook White
- Sings - "Hero" by, umm, Mariah Carey
 - Boo hoo, so your sister didn't plan her wedding properly to not interfere with your being on "American Idol" plans.  She kept it in a key she could sing, did the smart thing and stuck herself at the piano, which I liked but don't know if the public will like it.  She sang nice enough, but there are only a few piano players who can connect with an audience, and she's not there yet.  And she still won't shut the hell up when the judges give their opinions, and now there is some kind of reference to a juicy burger in a bun.  Hmm?

Kristy Lee Cook
 - Sings - "Forever" by, let me guess, Mariah Carey
 - What the hell kind of hug was that, the one she gave to Mariah?  The key seems to be to sing songs no one knows on Mariah Carey night, which makes us not give a damn.  You know what, we want to compare these people to Mariah Carey, and we want them to sing Mariah songs we know even if they are from over ten years ago.  She still looks good, the performance was bland, but I don't mind her sticking around because, well, she is purty and probably has a nice career ahead of her on the country side if she doesn't screw it up.

David Cook
- Sings "Always Be My Baby" by damn, Mariah Carey, again.
 - Yup, the dudes do have it easier this night because there is no way we want to compare them to Mariah.  His problem is the key seems wrong, just a tad too low, so he can't punch it up to the level this song could be.  He tried to do it at the end, but it's either too flat or too sharp (I always had problems figuring that out).  Sorry David, Daughtry would have done this right.  I guess it sounded better in the studio because Simon, Paula, and Randy loved it.  I found him droning. 

Jason Castro
Sings - "I Don't Wanna Cry" by, who would have guessed, Mariah Carey.
 - Good enough, especially for the last song so everyone will remember him, but as nice as it sounded I found him boring as hell.  It must sound better in the studio than on TV because even Simon like him.

Let's wrap this up...

I'm past the singing part because all of us know these folks can sing otherwise how in the hell did they get here, and thankfully Kristy Lee Cook seems to have gotten over her "not being able to sing" stage and is starting to dress hotter, but the bad part about this year is none of them are transforming themselves into performers.  The other crappy part is that they don't need a singing mentor, like Mariah Carey, pimping her new album, nope, these boys and girls actually need someone who can teach them to the next level, of how to touch the audience, and as much as I've been pimping Bruce Springsteen showing up on "American Idol," I'm thinking Neil Diamond, who has a new album coming out that he can promote, might not be that bad a choice, either.  Skip the "Here's how to sing" crap, let's get to "Here's how to perform."

That's it for this one!  I'm The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Posted by Rightdude at April 15, 2008 8:33 PM


I thought Mariah was by FAR the best mentor I have ever seen on the show. As a singer, producer, and songwriter, Mariah knows her stuff. She gave them some good tips---and as you saw they took them. And Mariah seemed really nice and genuine with the kids--quite refreshing if you ask me.

Posted by: Jake at April 15, 2008 10:35 PM

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