Author: Andy Labis

By:

The Dude on the Right
As I was on the phone with my accountant, Dewey, of the firm Dewey, Cheatem, &
Howe, I started telling Dewey how I was getting sucked into the Olympic coverage
of Curling.  Yea, that’s right, the Olympic sport where they slide this big
boulder rock things down the ice, kinda like shuffleboard without the stick, and
use brooms to help direct/speed-up/slow-down the rock, hoping to either bounce
the opposing teams rocks out of the way, or get your rock in either a blocking
position or in a position to score.  Stu Gotz was in the office at the time
and immediately started to bust my balls, professing how he was totally into the
Women’s Speed Skating, with the women in those skin-tight outfits, while there I
was, watching dudes slide a stone.  Dewey, of course, heard this, and
started busting my balls as well, but then, after hanging up the phone on Dewey
in mid-insult, I reminded Stu that he loved the movie "Curious George." 
With that, he backed down a tad.

Anyway, as for my fascination with curling,
it really began with the Winter Olympic coverage four years ago.  Me, I’m
the kind of guy who can just sit in front of the TV on a Sunday afternoon and
watch a full round of golf, so why not be fascinated with curling? This year,
though, I was reading the paper yesterday and saw they had coverage of the men’s
curling on CNBC.  I changed the channel and quickly became totally
fascinated by the audio of the event that will hopefully make it into a podcast
next week.  Yup, I was sucked in.  But then came the woman’s event
today, with the Team USA dudettes playing the dudettes of Denmark.  As the
audio still intrigued me, suddenly I was in love, as I am a sucker for a dudette
with blondish hair, blue eyes, and a killer smile, staring down a big ol’ rock and yelling/telling her teammates where it really needs to end up .  My next person to
stalk, I mean, to admire from afar, is team skip,

Cassie Johnson.  I’ll just say I was mesmerized, and totally 
disappointed when that last rock hit some debris thing on the ice that
misdirected it ever so slightly so that the Denmark dudettes won the round.

Sadly, the Team USA curling dudettes might be eliminated pretty soon, they
aren’t doing too well it seems, and that makes me sad.  I believe my last
chance to catch them might be this coming Monday, but there’s always a chance
they can go on a curling tear and I’ll be there every step of the way.  
As far as Stu, go ahead and stalk, I mean, admire from afar, those dudette speed
skaters.  Me, I’ve always had a thing for the girl next door look, and
Cassie has that.  And her sister is cute, too, but she’s engaged. 
Cassie has a degree in graphic design and I’d love to offer her a job to help us
with Stu & The Dude
Reviewin’ the Movies for You!  It’s just too bad I couldn’t offer her
any money, and I’d probably be slapped with a sexual harrasment lawsuit.  Oh well, I guess I’ll just stalk, I mean, admire her from afar,
and hope the team does go on a curling tear.  Good luck ladies!  And
Cassie, if by some miracle I win the $365 million
Powerball this weekend,
there might be a job offer coming your way.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
I’m getting really confused with the coverage of the
XX Winter
Olympics. First, I talked a little bit about this in our last podcast, but
there doesn’t seem to be a consensus on exactly where the Olympics are being
held. First, if you go to
www.olympic.org, they call it the "Torino 2006" games. Fine, they’re a world
body, and probably go with the language of the host nation, that being Italian
because, well, the Olympics are being held in Italy. The thing is that Torino is
an Italian pronunciation, and even on the web site, in their English
translation, they call them the "Turin Winter Games." That at my local paper,
and every other television station say they are in Turin.  But
NBC, who is broadcasting the
Winter Olympics, are sticking with "Torino," prompting one posting on a bulletin
board I occasionally read wondering why, if NBC is content on calling Turin,
well, Turino, for this kind of news, why aren’t they calling Rome, well, Roma,
or Florence, umm, Fiorenza. I know that the famous shroud is in Turin, and
wonder if NBC, if there is ever new news about the Shroud of Turin, well, if
they will know call it the Shroud of Turino? I’m so confused.

And that’s not
only thing confusing me about the Winter Olympics. The other has to do with the
wacky news coverage, especially on the NBC stations. I haven’t been able to pay
attention to the ABC or CBS coverage, at least when it comes to my local news,
to see if how/when/who they are spoiling the suspense of who/when/how won a
medal, but on both my local NBC newscast and the national NBC newscast here in
Chicago, this day being Sunday, they both had coverage of the Winter Olympics.
The easy story was

Michelle Kwan’s dropping out, but then, wanting to at least give some real
news about what was going on, told their viewers that if they didn’t want to
"see" anything about the results as of the time of the newscast, to turn away
from the screen (don’t forget, the actual events happened over 12 hours ago, so
the nightly broadcast is a tape of what already happened), and that the audio
wouldn’t give away anything, but I couldn’t help but watch and figure out that
Apolo Anton Ohno must have screwed up because he wasn’t on the medal board NBC
flashed on the screen. Then, of course, I just went to the

NBC website and found out for myself.

With their coverage, I think this is where NBC is really dropping the ball.
Instead of trying to "hide" the results with bad "we have spoilers, turn away if
you don’t want to know," they should just go all out and say things like "On
tonight’s coverage, you get to see how Apolo Anton Ohno didn’t get a medal, how
the U.S. skiers, including the controversial Bode Miller, didn’t get a medal,
but thank God for

Shaun White and Danny Kass, a couple of snowboarders who knew how to get the
job done, getting the Gold and Silver respectively. We’ve got a slim chance at
getting a medal in the Luge, but you might just want to see if the "Babe Ruth of
Luge,"

Georg Hackl of Germany, can pull it off. After all, they’re going down that
course at speeds over 70 miles per hour at times." In all honesty, those are the
only reasons I’m watching the NBC coverage of the Winter Olympics tonight, but
my problem is that the conclusion to last week’s "Grey’s
Anatomy" conflicts with the Olympic coverage. I knew I should have ordered
that Comcast DVR. Guess I’ll be stuck with year’s old technology and
VCR "Grey’s
Anatomy" and TIVO
the Olympics, or maybe just the opposite. Damn, I hate T.V.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!