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Stealing Beauty
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Liv Tyler and Jeremy Irons
MPAA Rated: Video version was unrated.
Kiddie Movie: Nope.
Date Movie: I wouldn't bring a date to this movie. It's not a chick flick nor is it a guy movie. It's just screen art.
Gratuitous Sex: Nothing too graphic but everyone is getting some in this movie.
Gratuitous Violence: No
Action: It's an artsy movie, come on.
Laughs: None that I can remember.
Memorable Scene: Actually... no.
Memorable Quote: Nil.

Stealing Beauty
A Movie/DVD Review

 

Video was Unrated

It's 1:43 Long

A Review by
Stu Gotz
A friend told me that Stealing Beauty is one S L 0 W fucking movie. If that weren't enough, I was also warned that the characters in the movie are, for the most part, "pretentious, living-and-dying-for-their-art, wine-drinking, running-around-naked, self-indulgent-aristocrats." "Not exactly your type of movie Stu," I was told. "But," I retorted, "If Liv Tyler gets naked like you say.... That would make the movie worth seeing." Well.... much to my disappointment Liv only shows a little boob, and to my surprise I actually didn't think the movie was all that bad.

Yes the movie was a terribly slow one and, yes, the characters frivolousness earned them an ass-kicking in my book. What my friend forgot to tell me is that this movie was written, directed, shot, and edited in a very European style. Had he told me that going into the movie I would have understood why pointless characters were added to the movie; I would have anticipated the useless, and far too very brief nude scenes; and I would have expected the movie to have a slow drama-less buildup to a non-climactic intellectual pay-off in the end. Stealing Beauty is one, long, artistic statement and if you go into this movie knowing and expecting it to be so, it ain't all that bad. If your expecting it to be a typical American "spell-everything-out-for-you, and-slap-you-with-huge-special-effects" then you'll be disappointed.

The main character of the movie, Lucy, played by Liv Tyler, actually reminded me a lot of my friend Angela. Her and Lucy both have grandiose ideas about passion, romance, and true love. Lucy, as a child, had spent time in an Italian hippie/artists commune where she was enamored by a boy. As a young adult she returns to the commune to have a bust made of her. She also hopes to reacquaint herself, give herself to her childhood love, and also find out about a mysterious man mentioned in her dead poet mother's diary. In the process of self discovery the movie introduces far too many blue-bloods for this blue collar guy to get along with. I wanted to scream out to these people "stop being so self centered and get a real life you fucking slacker!" For example, Lucy is one of those spoiled artsy kids that thinks they're being original when writing down feelings and poems in a note book while drinking red wine and watching the sunset. Whatever.

The movie did strike an emotional chord in me, probably not the one the producers had intended, but the movie did make me think none the less. If you shop at used clothes stores, keep a tortured soul journal, and drink herbal tea you'll probably like this movie. If you're a Budweiser kind of person and shop regularly at Sears, this may not be the movie for you. I, however, thought it was OK so I give Stealing Beauty 2.5 out of 5 stars.

 

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