In Our Office...
Born: June '70
Hometown: Harvey, IL
Weight: Big, couldn't ya tell by the name?
Sex: As much as possible.
Eyes: Yes, I have them.
I lost my balls, I now have a wife and child.
Idols: Al Bundy, he
is the man!; Ken Griffey, Jr. - He has my vote for Prez.; David
Letterman, he is the most powerful man in television; and whomever
the chick I am talking to idolizes.
Funniest thing ever said to me: This
is two-fold but happened in the same conversation: "I didn't
know there were any white boys in Harvey" to which I replied,
"I'm white!?!" and later from the same dude, while being
fitted for a tux just so ya know, "You got a butt like a black
Stupidest things I ever uttered: Too
numerous to mention but off the top of my head, "I wish it were
socially acceptable for a man to carry a purse." and "Hey
Trash, Do you wear crotch-less underwear?"
Favorite Beer: The
only good beer is cold beer, and the only bad beer is no beer. But,
my favorite beer is free beer! Go figure.
Favorite Artist(s): You
name it, I listen to it, pretty much as I don't like playing
favorites. But if I have to name a few, how about Rhoads and Craven
(local band in Chicago), The Nerds (These guys rock the Jersey
shore!), Bon Jovi (Speaking of Jersey), Van Halen, Jimmy Buffett,
and 'bout near any one else.
Here's to women with big tits and loose morals. Of course, that is a
guys toast. Men are pigs what can I say? Women are evil and men are
pigs, it is like guilt by association.
Turn Ons: I'm easy,
but not cheap! So, lots of little things turn me on. Big beautiful
eyes, no, seriously, eyes - the kind you can look into all night
Turn Offs: Women who
keep secrets and can't take a joke. Disproportional women, ya know
petite women with big asses or just flat out big women. But hey, I'd
try anything once.
Jobs at Entertainment Ave!:
All-around reviewer, bouncer, assistant editor, smart-ass, but I'm
really not sure because The Dude on the Right keeps firing me.