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The Whole Nine Yards
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Rosanna Arquette, Michael Clarke Duncan, Amanda Peet
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Warner Bros.
Web Site: www.nineyards.net
Kiddie Movie: Nah, pretty adult for kids, lots of swearing, boobs, etc.
Date Movie: She might not want to go but will probably enjoy it.
Gratuitous Sex: Blatant nudity.
Gratuitous Violence: It's about a contract killer.
Action: Some action.
Laughs: Lots of them.
Memorable Scene: I almost spit my soda all over the dude in front of me during the scene where Jimmy tosses Oz a beer on the boat.
Memorable Quote: Jimmy to Oz: "Now, go change your pants - We're going out.
Directed By: Jonathan Lynn
Produced By: David Willis, Allan Kaufman

The Whole Nine Yards
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - R

It's 1:38 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
 
Alright, it would be unfair of me to say that the track record of the "Friends" stars in transitioning to the big screen has been, well lackluster, but for most of their success on the series, it's been really hard to place any of them in a really good film. This weekend that seems to have changed with Matthew Perry in a movie that spotlights Bruce Willis at some of his comic best, "The Whole Nine Yards." And Matthew Perry is pretty darn good, too.

The story run-down is a little like this. Matthew Perry plays "Oz", a dentist relocated to Canada with a bitch of a wife, Sophie (Rosanna Arquette). He gets a new neighbor, Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis), a relocated contract killer sort of hiding out from some mobsters. Sophie decides the way out of her and Oz's debt is for Oz to rat out Jimmy's location to the mob, but she has other ideas as well. So, she ships Oz off to Chicago to find the mob. Well, he runs into Frankie (Michael Clarke Duncan in another great role) and the mob, and ends up a player in a twisted scheme for Jimmy to get the $10 million dollars left for a triad of people. Oh yea, Oz also sleeps with Jimmy's wife, Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge), but then again, who wouldn't take that opportunity. In the end it's not all about money, as it should be for a contract killer, and maybe the five years in prison softened up Jimmy a little, or maybe he just got too close to someone again.

Sure, the movie is kind of stupid, but sometimes that what makes it work. Oz is a guy whose life sucks but is still goofy enough to make us laugh. Jimmy is cool, calm, and collected, but in a funny hit-man sort of way. Frankie scares you just looking at him, but seems like a cuddly teddy bear at other times, and then there is Jill (Amanda Peet), Oz's dental assistant with a weird twist in how she fits in, a wannabe contract killer whose dream comes true when she finds out Jimmy is living next to Oz and Oz introduces her to Jimmy. It's stupidly comical and works well.

In the end most everyone lives happily ever after, it is a movie about a contract killer after all. But it was good to see a comedy that didn't try to push things too far, didn't waste the comedic talents Bruce Willis can have, and put Matthew Perry in a movie that fit him just about perfectly. "The Whole Nine Yards" did those things, had some blatant nudity that fit in comically, had some fun violence, and had some scenes where the timing of drinking some of my 55 gallon drum of soda almost caused the dude in front of me to it all over the back of his head from my laughing so hard.

And with that I'm giving "The Whole Nine Yards" 4 stars out of 5. Sure it's not going to win any awards, but it did make me laugh and that's what it was supposed to do.

That's it for this one! I'm The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

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