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Transformers:
Revenge of the Fallen
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf, Rainn Wilson, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, Peter Cullen, Hugo Weaving
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Web Site: www.transformersmovie.com
Kiddie Movie: A lot of parents brought their kids, and the kids seemed to fare okay, but is PG-13 so be careful.
Date Movie: My BFF actually liked it. Yours might not. I have a cool BFF.
Gratuitous Sex: Megan Fox in skimpy outfits and a chihuahua humping a pug.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of it, but PG-13 so you don't see any humans die.
Action: Um, duh?
Laughs: There are quite a few moments of comic relief.
Memorable Scene: I'd say Megan Fox on the motorcycle, but that's too obvious.
Memorable Quote: That's my eye, you crazy bitch!
Directed By: Michael Bay
Produced By: Ian Bryce, Tom DeSnto, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Don Murphy

Transformers:
Revenge of the Fallen

A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - PG-13

It's 2:30 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
“Transformers: Rise of the Fallen” is a bombastic, loud movie with a thin plot based upon robots that transform from objects like cars, trucks, and airplanes, at war with each other and us humans, sort of, with something about a device that will snuff out our sun so that these robots can have an energy source.  It’s got a lot of running, a lot of “Go! Go! Go!”ing, a lot of Megan Fox in skimpy outfits and perfect makeup, and a joke about robot scrotum.  Pretty much it was almost the perfect, summer, action movie.  The hell with the rest of the critics who bashed the movie, this critic had a blast.

Back on the big screen are Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox, in their roles as Sam Witwicky and Mikaela from the “Transformers” movie a few years ago.  Also back are Optimus Prime and the Autobots, now teaming up with a special unit of the United States Government, to protect us unsuspecting people from the destruction that is the Decepticons, and they’re doing a pretty good job until one mission goes a little haywire and the President is having second thoughts.  Little does the Prez know that Fallen, a Decepticon of old, is ready to rise again and finally rid earth of its sun so that the robots can get a new energy source.  But Fallen has a problem, namely that the secret to the hidden location of the device to capture the sun’s energy is residing in the mind of good-ol’ Sam, so now the big, bad robots have to find Sam, take his brain, and find the tools necessary to start the machine.

Sam, meanwhile, tired of his escapades from the first movie, is looking forward to getting out of the house and hit the college world, where he finds his new roommate, Ramon (Leo Spitz), runs a website dedicated to finding the truth behind the recent alien sighting (go figure), and his mom doesn’t fair to well with hash brownies.  Sam’s also finding it hard to remain faithful to Mikaela, what with the hottie Alice trying to jump his bones, but Alice has a secret, the Autobots need Sam’s help again, and in this version, in the end love can save us all, or at least saying "I love you" can.  Well, sort of.

Look, the opening paragraph, I think, does a pretty good job of describing the movie, and if you liked the first “Transformers” movie, odds are you will like this version.  It’s got the comic elements you want if you are an adult but can enjoy a joke that a ten year old will love, it’s got action galore, it’s got Megan Fox not acting for an Academy Award but showing all of the reasons why we loved her in the first version, Shia LaBeouf pretty much has perfected leading everyone away from danger with a “Go, go, go!” yell, and yes, it sounds wrong, but I even liked Agent Simmons (John Turturro) in his underwear.

Now, with all of that glowingness, you would probably think I would give the movie a perfect rating, but sadly, there was one problem I had with the movie, and it was the same problem I had with the first movie and the same issue my BFF had with this film: Enough with the slow-motion, dragging-out, fight sequences already.  We get it, the CGI is cool, you want to spotlight it as much as you can because it’s almost as impressive as Megan Fox’s ass, but it adds, easily, fifteen minutes to the movie that are both un-needed and cause the movie to drag just that extra little bit.  For that, and that alone (no, the twin robots didn’t bother me, I laughed at the part where Mom Witwicky got her hands on some ganja brownies, and who doesn’t laugh at a robot humping Mikaela’s leg or two dogs getting it on?), I’ve got to drop the rating because nearly two and a half hours is too long for a movie where all of us already know the characters.  With that it’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.”  For me it was a bombastic summer blast!

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

 

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