The Pick of Destiny
Movie Stats & Links
||Jack Black, Kyle Gass, Tim Robbins, Ben Stiller, Colin
Hanks, Amy Poehler, Meat Loaf
New Line Cinema
||Only if you want
them to be a rock and roll God, umm, never mind. Leave
them at home.
||Only if she
understands the magic of Tenacious D, and can help you sneak
||Cock Push-Ups save
||Here and there.
||Dave Grohl looked
fantastic as Satan.
||Reminding me, sort
of, of Tom Cruise in "Magnolia",
but different, "Use the cock."
While I was watching "Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny,"
I was sort of missing my college days. You see, back then we
would go and see movies at the campus auditorium. Sure, it
would take months for movies to get to our "gigaplex" that
only had one screen, but you could fill your briefcase or
backpack full of beer, bringing it in by pretending you were
just getting back from the computer lab (fine, no one really
checked), and you and your friends could have some cold
brews during the flick, which many times made the movie
better. The tricky parts were timing your cough with the
opening of your beer to disguise your liquid refreshment
(still, somehow the opening of the beer can always preceded
the cough), or putting your empties back far enough under
your seat so that your buddy who had to get up and take a
piss wouldnít kick them down the isle (it happened a lot). I
think I was missing my college days because with a couple of
beers "The Pick of Destiny" had a chance to be a better
movie, but sadly I was at home for Thanksgiving, Iím not
sure how sneaking beer into my local gigaplex would have
gone over, and Iím sure my parents would have questioned the
beer on my breath getting back from the matinee. Enough
reminiscing, letís get to the movieÖ
The Pick of Destiny
A Movie Review
"Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny" gives of the story of
the formation of the greatest rock and roll band of their
time. Jack Black is JB. He grows up in a Christian family
where his dad (Meat Loaf, in a great musical role
reminiscent of his stint in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show")
doesnít like his son wanting to be a rock and roll star.
Lucky for JB, Ronny James Dio comes to life from the poster
on the back of JBís bedroom door and tells our future hero
to get himself to Los Angeles. At Venice Beach JB is
fascinated by KGís (Kyle Gass) guitar prowess, and they find
themselves creating Tenacious D.
Things arenít going that well for our two heroes, that is
until they notice that all of the great guitar gods used the
same pick, and it is at their guitar store, where the clerk,
played by Ben Stiller, reveals that the guitar pick used by
the guitar gods wasnít an ordinary pick, but was actually
formed from the tooth of Satan. And said pick happens to be
on display at a local rock museum. So we now get the
adventures of JB and KG, plotting to steal "The Pick of
Destiny," and in the meantime having struggles with their
friendship, JB getting loaded on mushrooms, and KG hitting a
sorority party where he realizes the music is nothing
without his partner.
It all comes to a climactic conclusion where JB and KG
duel against Satan (Dave Grohl) for rock and roll supremacy.
Look, Iím a fan of the music of Tenacious D, and liked
the HBO pieces I did see, but for whatever reason, the movie
just didnít click for me, at least sober. The sorority party
lacked the quality nudity I was looking for, the "stoned on
mushrooms" scene seemed to drag on forever, and I know the
story of Tenacious D has the duo playing against Satan, and
them not remembering the song they played that kicked
Satanís ass so our heroes sing a tribute to the song, but I
Wishing again that I was back in college, Iím thinking
"Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny" might have been a 4 out
of 5 star masterpiece during the "Summer of Beer & Movie
Rentals," but leaving the theater I saw the movie at, while
visiting my parents over the holidays, I can only give the
movie 2 stars out of 5. Quality nudity would have helped.
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!!