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Surrogates
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Bruce Willis, Radha Mitchell, Rosamund Pike Ving Rhames
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment
Kiddie Movie: They'd be bored.
Date Movie: She'd be bored.
Gratuitous Sex: Robot sex would have helped.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of robots get killed.
Action: There is a lot of chasing.
Laughs: There are a couple of chuckles.
Memorable Scene: Nothing really.
Memorable Quote: For all I know you could be some fat dude, sitting in a stem chair, with your dick hanging out.
Directed By: Jonathan Mostow

Cool Things About the DVD

Learn French! And English, or Spanish.
Buy a New TV! Everything looks better when it's bigger, even bad movies, so goes ahead.
Buy a New Stereo! Nah.
Anything Else! The Blu-ray does have a nice look at the advancements and coming conquering of humans by robots.

Surrogates
A Blu-ray Disc Review

 

DVD Rated - PG-13

It's 1:28 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
I saw “Surrogates” when it came out in the theater, and now I’ve watched the Blu-ray, and I would like to say it got a lot better watching it in the comfort of my own home, but, well, it’s just a little better, probably because I can go to the bathroom and not really worry about missing much.

Anyway, I know sometimes you are supposed to suspend reality at movies, but for the life of me, while watching “Surrogates,” I couldn’t help if anyone put together that the human race is doomed because no one seems to be having actual sex anymore.  Here are the story basics.

It’s the future and robots have become nearly indistinguishable from humans.  That’s not the important part.  What is important is that it appears every human is connected to their own robot, able to control life as we know it from the comfort of their own easy chair.  Okay, maybe that’s not the best explanation.  Let’s put it this way.  Humans live in their apartments and home, never leaving their dwellings, because the humans are able to lie in a couch, wear some contraption, and control a robot that does all of the daily chores of the human.  Yup, if you’re a cop you stay in your bedroom while your robot self (that can look as perfect as you want with the right amount of money) goes to the office and fights crime, even though there isn’t really crime anymore.  If you want sex, well, you just send your robot to a real world location, umm, you know what, this premise is just nuts so lets get to the problem.

In this future there are a couple of “reservation” locations where real human being do real human things like play ball and grow food, and it seems that a real human came to the world where the robots are the people and is able to kill a robot, but more scarily, also kill the person controlling the robot.  So now the real people controlling the robot FBI agents (of which Bruce Willis is one of them, in both robot and real self) are trying to have their robot selves all work together as real people to solve the crime.  This first takes robot Bruce Willis chasing a real human dude, only to find the robot Bruce in real human land where the real humans kill the robot.  Now Bruce Willis is without his robot, so he actually ventures into the world of robots to figure out why there is a weapon that can kill humans by killing their robot, if there is some crazy government conspiracy about this, if maybe it is the crazy old scientist, if maybe it is the one corporation that builds all of these robots, and hell, if maybe it’s the crazy “Prophet,” the leader of the real humans who had the robots.

And, oh yea, there’s also this backstory about how Bruce and his wife lost their son to a car crash, something that can’t happen in the current world since their son, who I don’t know how would get born anyway since people don’t seem to have physical contact, would only have his robot destroyed in a car crash.

Okay, does it sound like I’m confused? Well, you’re right, and watching the movie a second time didn’t really help.  Bruce Willis does okay in this mishmash of a story, but for me there are just too many logical holes in a movie that wanted to be this futuristic crime drama, lost in a see of “Huh?”, especially when I was able to figure out the entire story with the first comment of “humans aren’t supposed to be able to control a non-assigned surrogate.”

I wanted to like this movie, and was sort of hoping it would play out as a better rental-type, but I just couldn’t, although I do have to say that everyone did a great job at acting like a robot.  It’s a little better at home, so we’ll say 2 stars out of 5 for “Surrogates.”

Now the movie is on Blu-ray, so yes, it does look pretty good, but there aren’t too many extras for your Blu-ray dollar.  There are some deleted scenes that are just as well being deleted, there is a nice little vignette about how the movie came to be after first being a graphic novel, but I suppose the cooler part, or maybe scarier part of the Blu-ray extras is a brief glimpse at how yes, technology is coming, robots are going to be a part of that technology, and someday the Surrogate world may come to be, yet I’m still just wondering about the “having sex” part.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

 

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