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Stigmata
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Patricia Arquette, Gabriel Byrne
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: MGM
Kiddie Movie: Oh no, I don't think so.
Date Movie: She might get creeped out and hide on her face on your shoulder.
Gratuitous Sex: Some kinda artsy scenes, but not right out nudity.
Gratuitous Violence: Graphic scenes of body parts getting crucified.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: There were a couple of one-liners.
Memorable Scene: The ones where they show body parts getting crucified and the one where the possessed Frankie is tossing around Father Andrew like a stuffed dummy.
Memorable Quote: Hookers say to Father Andrew as he's walking by, after realizing he is a priest, something like "We'll give you the Vatican discount!"
Directed By: Rupert Wainwright
Produced By: Frank Mancuso Jr.

Stigmata
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - R

It's 1:42 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
I jumped in the dude-mobile and headed to the giga-plex, barely parked between the lines, and headed to the ticket booth with every intention of seeing "Stir of Echoes." I bought the ticket, headed to the concession area to buy a big, ol' bottle of water, and then said to myself "Self, 'Stir of Echoes' doesn't start for half an hour and 'Stigmata' starts in 15 minutes and is in the giant theater. Why don't you go see 'Stigmata' instead?" So, I did. After watching it I was thinking two things. One, I really hope no one ever sends me a rosary, and two, my money might have been better spent on the movie I planned to see.

The quick gist of the movie goes like this: A priest dies. Mystically his spirit is transferred to Frankie (Patricia Arquette) when she receives a rosary that this priest owned as a gift from her mother. Frankie then begins getting the wounds of Christ on her body. Enter Father Andrew (Gabriel Byrne), the Vatican's investigator into Christian vision things (i.e. bleeding statues, reflections in glass, crying pictures, and yes, stigmata). His first thought after meeting Frankie is that there is no way in hell Frankie can have true stigmata because she's an atheist, but then he finds that she knows this little used 2000ish year old languages and freaks out a lot. He's now a believer but must figure out why she has been so afflicted. Meanwhile the high-ups in the Catholic church know the truth about Frankie and decide that it's better if she's not around because if her secret comes out, well, the foundation of the pomp and grandeur of the church will be shattered. Ahh, a cover-up of the highest order!

The movie is an interesting look at the supposed "Jesus Gospel," the actual words of Jesus and what he meant the church should be, but it takes a long time to get there. In the meantime we get to see that the Catholic church is better at covering up the truth than any government, that every cross is wrong because Christ would have been nailed through the wrists and not the palms (duh, although how come I've seen plenty of crosses with the correct placement of the nails?), that Frankie doesn't complain to her landlord about her leaky ceiling, and that even atheists can be possessed by spirits. I don't know, the movie wasn't that bad as a movie goes, but the best scenes of this movie were the crucifixion scenes as Frankie became afflicted with the stigmata. It tried too hard to be scary instead of just getting to the ultimate point that I saw in the movie - the deception that the church is carrying on with.

Oh well, I would suggest that you wait for video on this one. Not that bad and kinda creepy, but not that good either. I give it 2 stars out of 5.

That's it for this one, I'm The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!

 

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