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Semi-Pro
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, Maura Tierney, Andre Benjamin, Andy Richter, Will Arnett
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: New Line Cinema
Web Site: www.semipromovie.com
Kiddie Movie: Lots of swearing and sexual innuendo.
Date Movie: Only if she doesn't want to laugh.
Gratuitous Sex: A scene that would have been a hell of a lot better if Maura Tierney had gotten naked.
Gratuitous Violence: Just some fighting.
Action: Nope.
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: The bear-wrestling scene.
Memorable Quote: "Big, bouncy, jiggly hearts."
Directed By: Kent Alterman
Produced By: Jimmy Miller, Josh Church

Semi-Pro
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - R

It's 1:30 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
I knew there would come a day when I would not like a Will Ferrell movie at all, and that day came today when I went to see "Semi-Pro." First letís get to the storyÖ

Itís the 1970ís and there are two basketball leagues Ė the NBA, the one with the orange basketball, and the ABA, the one with the red, white and blue basketball (which I always found cooler), only this ABA version isnít really a serious basketball league, mostly a bunch of ragamuffins looking to play basketball. On top of the ragamuffin list is Jackie Moon (Will Ferrell), owner/coach/player of the Flint (as in Michigan for you non-geography types) Tropics. He made his money with one hit song, "Love Me Sexy," and has a group of players with less talent (at least at the start) than most high school teams. But itís 1976 and the ABA is going to fold, with four teams being let into the promised land, the NBA, so Jackie thinks he can get his team to be a little better. How can his team be a little better? By trading a washing machine to another team for Monix (Woody Harrelson). Monix had actually been on an NBA championship team, namely the Boston Celtics, but never played.

And so, blah blah blah, Monix finds his calling as a he coaches the Tropics, Ferrell finds his calling as a master of promotions, and the tropics star basketball player, Clarence "Coffee" Black (Andre Benjamin), finds out about teamwork, and in between laughs are supposed to ensue as we take a funny look at basketball like "Talladega Nights" took a funny look at NASCAR, only I wasnít laughing. And, oh yea, in the creepiest of scenes, we get Maura Tierney (whom I find hot, gorgeous, and stalk) playing Lynn, an old flame of Monix, where, as she and Monix remember old times as they get it on in her house, well, her boyfriend/Monix fanatic walks in on them, takes a seat at the table, and begins to masturbate as the two of them are going at it, in some twisted "My girlfriend is doing Monix" fantasy. You also get a tired scene with a gun that isnít supposed to be loaded but is, and utter confusion when Jackie "invents" the "alley- oop" during the final game of the season.

Iím so disappointed because when I saw the trailers for "Semi-Pro" I had such high hopes for this flick, but I also really donít know where this movie went wrong, other than maybe itís time for Will Ferrell to quit with the shtick of sportís movies because suddenly the jokes are getting old.. The other thing I found odd about "Semi-Pro" is that other than the college crowd (which will probably like the movie), with all of the cursing and little bit of sex (but sadly no nudity) the movie has an R-rating, thus making the other half of its intended audience, teen boys, having to sneak in to see it.

The bear-wrestling scene was kind of funny, especially with the then ability for the missing bear to show up at any time, but sadly Iím only giving "Semi-Pro" 1 Ĺ stars out of 5. There will be some that find this movie great in the film repertoire of Will Ferrell, but maybe basketball isnít as easy to make fun of like NASCAR, ice-skating, or hockey (not a Ferrell vehicle, but "Slapshot" is one of the great sportís films of all time).

Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

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