Running with Scissors
Movie Stats & Links
Gwyneth Paltrow, Brian Cox, Joseph Fiennes, Alec Baldwin,
Evan Rachel Wood
||For the love of
||Only if she likes
an incredibly slowly paced movie.
but someone should be in jail.
||Some fighting but
||Quite a few good
||Neil reading his
poem about a nun.
||Both by Dr. Finch:
"That leads to an adjacent room where I masturbate...Would
you like a tour?" and "My turd is a direct communication
from the Holy Father!"
||Dede Gardner, Brad
Grey, Ryan Murphy, Brad
I was walking into my local gigaplex, heading for the
10:15 in the morning showing of "Running with Scissors."
Then, at the end of the hall, I saw that "The Departed" was
starting five minutes earlier. I told myself, "Self, go see
"The Departed." Itís supposed to be great, while this
"Scissors" movie isnít getting that great of reviews." But
then I convinced myself to see "Running with Scissors," and
about 20 minutes in, and for the rest of the movie, I
wondered why I donít listen to my first thoughts sometimes.
Hereís the story of the movieÖ
Running with Scissors
A Movie Review
"Running with Scissors" the movie is based on the
book/memoirs of Augusten Burroughs. For the movie we are
introduced to Augusten as a young mamaís boy, and quickly
realize that mom Deirdre (Annette Bening) is a tad on the
crazy side, believing that her poetry is the greatest in the
world and hoping to be published and famous. We are also
quickly introduced to dad, Norman (Alec Baldwin), a white
collar working dude with a drinking problem. And so, with
our quick introductions to the family, we are transported to
Augusten at an older age, a young teen, with his parents in
full-blown "canít stand each other" mode. Hoping to save her
marriage, or at least being able to complain to someone
about her delusions, Deirdre and Norman go to psychiatry
sessions with Dr. Finch (Brian Cox), and we quickly figure
that things arenít going to go well for pretty much everyone
involved. Norman divorces Deirdre, Deirdre slips further and
further into delusion, and Deirdre decides that the best
thing for Augusten is for Dr. Finch to adopt him.
The problem: Dr. Finch and his family is even more wacky
than Augustenís own.
First there is daughter Hope (Gwyneth Paltrow), Dr.
Finchís favorite who believes she can translate the purring
of her cat, Freud. The mom of the Finch clan is Agnes (Jill
Clayburgh), who pretty much has lost most sense of being
productive, instead choosing to sit on the couch, watch TV,
and eat dog kibble. The other daughter, Natalie (Evan Rachel
Wood) seems to be the most balanced of the Finch clan, and
Augusten and her seem to rely on each other to get through
life in the Finch household. And lastly we find Neil (Joseph
Fiennes), who happens to be a pedophile and a patient of Dr.
Finch. And so, if you thought your family was dysfunctional,
The Finch household probably tops it ten fold.
Now you would think total hilarity would ensue, and from
what Iíve read, in the book version of "Running with
Scissors," it does, but as I sat there wishing I had gone to
see "The Departed" instead, I wondered how a movie with so
much potential for quirkiness, seriousness, and hilarity,
could be so boring, but somehow the movie folks accomplished
just that. From the trailers we already new some things
would happen, like Augusten being adopted by Dr. Finch, but
it took forever to get there. We also knew that Augusten and
Natalie have a fun relationship (and not even in the fun way
you might think), but for the most part they donít seem to
have much fun. And as cooky as Dr. Finch comes across, his
cookiness is overshadowed by it taking too long for just
about every scene to develop.
And so, with all of the potential, I spent about and hour
and twenty minutes of this nearly two hour movie wishing I
had jumped ship and gone to see "The Departed." Donít get me
wrong, the movie did have a couple of fun moments, but for
the most part this had to be the worst-paced movie I have
seen in an awfully long time, and for that Iíve got to give
"Running with Scissors" 1 star out of 5, even with the
killer 70ís soundtrack that accompanied the film and the
multiple funny lines of dialogue.
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!!