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Repo Men
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Jude Law, Forest Whitaker, Alice Braga, Liev Schreiber
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Universal Pictures
Web Site: www.repomenarecoming.com
Kiddie Movie: Please leave them at home, along with your significant other, and yourself.
Date Movie: See "Kiddie Movie."
Gratuitous Sex: There is a boobie bar scene.
Gratuitous Violence: Mostly just grisly cutting into people.
Action: There is some chasing going on.
Laughs: The ending fight scene.
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Miguel Sapochnik
Produced By: Scott Stuber

Repo Men
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - R

It's 1:51 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
I have to say that I was a little surprised with myself that I didn't see the ending to "Repo Men" coming, but I'll also say that I'm glad it ended as it did otherwise the movie would have jumped from "stupid" to "unbelievably stupid" in my head.  The weird part about "Repo Men," when I look back on it, is if you put the names Jude Law, Forest Whitaker, Liev Schreiber, and heck, Alice Braga into the same movie, how do you end up with this, and finally, did they all attend the "James T. Kirk School of Overacting" for a refresher course before filming?  If you're guessing I didn't care for "Repo Men," well, you would be correct.

Anywho, it's the future.  The future looks pretty much like today except with taller buildings, closer together.  It appears that in this future there have only been a few advancements, like cheap, giant advertising screens able to be hung on every tall, close-together building, really cool-looking mass-transit, and mechanical human organs able to be implanted, but at a price (You'll be happy to know that your current car and your 1st generation iPhone still retain their current design). So people, faced with death from a failing internal organ, have the option to get a mechanical one put in, costing anywhere around $500,000, conveniently financed at 19%.  The catch, because there is always a catch, is that if you fall behind on your payments, well, the repo men from The Union (the conglomerate that has the market of fake internal organs cornered) can come and take said organ out of your body, leaving you for dead.

Enter Remy (Jude Law) and Jake (Forest Whitaker), and heck, enter Frank (Schreiber) and Beth (Braga).  Remy and Jake work for Frank.  Frank is the evil manager/salesperson at The Union, dispatching Remy and Jake to get the property returned, or rather cut out of the human it has been implanted in, and Jake and Remy are buddies, sort of.  Remy though, sort of dreams of getting out of the business, or at least becoming a salesperson instead of, well, a murderer, at the urging of his wife, but like the mob, Jake keeps pulling Remy back in, and he's sort of in for good when he needs a new heart, so low and behold The Union gives him a new one, and low and behold, he falls behind on the payments.

So Remy ends up in the part of town that looks worse than a war zone, where it seems only people who can't pay their Union bills live, and he re-finds Beth.  Yup, Remy's got a new love, it's Beth, and Beth is almost all implant at this time.  So they are on the run, Jake is dispatched to get him, and maybe Remy and Beth make it, maybe they don't - I really don't want to ruin it for you.

The thing is that this movie seems to just take forever to get anywhere, and it clocks in under 2 hours.  First it takes forever for them to set up Remy splitting from his wife, then it takes forever for Remy to realize he won't be able to make his payments, then it takes forever for him to be on the run, then it takes forever for him to be found, then it takes, well, you get the idea.
I wanted to find something to like about "Repo Men," I mean the premise had possibilities and maybe on paper the movie looked better, but man, it was like everyone over-acted every role, the story just dragged, they threw in a nudie bar scene to only seem to be able to show some boobies (okay, that wasn't bad), and the gratuitous violence took a humorous turn instead of keeping to the serious.  Pretty much the only reason to see this movie is if you get your kicks out of seeing people slice open a human body and pull out some fake organ.

I've gone on too long, especially for this movie, so let's just say I'm giving "Repo Men" 1/2 star out of 5, only because it did make me laugh during the final "fight" scene, and a couple of boobs.

That's it for this one!  I'm The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!! 

 

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