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Prom Night
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Brittany Snow
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Screen Gems
Web Site: sonypictures.com/.../promnight/
Kiddie Movie: It's lame enough you could probably bring them along.  Just kidding.
Date Movie: Only if she likes really lousy horror movies.
Gratuitous Sex: Would have helped a lot.
Gratuitous Violence: Always off-screen, and lame.
Action: Nope.
Laughs: Nope.
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Nelson McCormick
Produced By: Neal H. Moritz

Prom Night
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - PG-13

It's 1:28 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
I know the budget for "Prom Night" was small, but does fake blood cost that much? I ask this question because in the history of horror movies being notched down to get a PG-13 rating, "Prom Night" is probably the lamest slasher/horror movie to come out in years. Howís that for enticing you to see the movie?

If you havenít seen the trailer yet for "Prom Night," well, the simplistic story goes that three years earlier, Donna (Brittney Snow, who I liked in "John Tucker Must Die") witnesses the murder of her mother. It seems the killer, Richard (Jonathon Schaech), is obsessed with Donna, is caught, and sent to the loony ward because he was deemed insane.

Now Donna is a senior in high school, she has her boyfriend, Bobby (Scott Porter), and she still has nightmares relating to her parentís murder. But itís Prom night, a night for teen dancing, debauchery, sex, and cattiness between the Prom Queen nominees, but little does Donna know that Richard has escaped from his mental institution and decides to take a little trip to Donnaís neck of the woods. Sure, the local police are notified three days after Richardís escape, but itís just in time for them to get to the hotel where Prom is being held, while Richard has already gone on a killing spree of little or no blood proportions, looking for his one true love, Donna.

Blah, blah, blah.

Look, I understand the move to make horror films rated PG-13 so that the high school crowd has something to go see on the weekend, but come on, canít you at least give me some horror film being a horror film? First off, itís all girls in prom dresses. Sure, some of the boobs are hanging out, but where is the double murder of the hot girl in her underwear getting ready to sleep with her boyfriend? Then there are the killings themselves. Our crazed killer is armed with what looks to be a three or four inch switchblade, which somehow is able to instantly kill his victims after four or five stab wounds, usually to the belly, and sure, maybe itís more realistic for a stab wound to just leave a little bit of a blood spot on the clothing, but since when are slasher films about realism? Sure, there was a throat slashing with some blood flying, but even that came up lame. Yes, in true horror film genre, the police put Donna in protective custody at her house when, of course, they canít find Richard in the hotel, but canít you at least get a little creative with the boyfriend dying (sorry if I ruined that for you, but if you didnít see that coming from a mile away you need to turn in your movie-going ID)?

I should probably text my niece to see if she saw this movie and what she thought of it, as she tends to enjoy the horror/slasher movie genre, but for me, who can appreciate the dumbness of people in a horror movie, I couldnít even appreciate the dumbness. Itís Ĺ star out of 5 for "Prom Night" and I don't even know why I'm giving that high of a rating.  I didnít even see "The Ruins" yet, but I would suggest you see that movie instead, even if you have to sneak in, because there is no way it could be worse that this movie.

Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

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