Movie Stats & Links
||It's lame enough
you could probably bring them along. Just kidding.
||Only if she likes
really lousy horror movies.
||Would have helped
||Neal H. Moritz
I know the budget for "Prom Night" was small, but does
fake blood cost that much? I ask this question because in
the history of horror movies being notched down to get a
PG-13 rating, "Prom Night" is probably the lamest
slasher/horror movie to come out in years. Howís that for
enticing you to see the movie?
A Movie Review
If you havenít seen the trailer yet for "Prom Night,"
well, the simplistic story goes that three years earlier,
Donna (Brittney Snow, who I liked in
Tucker Must Die") witnesses the murder of her mother. It
seems the killer, Richard (Jonathon Schaech), is obsessed
with Donna, is caught, and sent to the loony ward because he
was deemed insane.
Now Donna is a senior in high school, she
has her boyfriend, Bobby (Scott Porter), and she still has
nightmares relating to her parentís murder. But itís Prom
night, a night for teen dancing, debauchery, sex, and
cattiness between the Prom Queen nominees, but little does
Donna know that Richard has escaped from his mental
institution and decides to take a little trip to Donnaís
neck of the woods. Sure, the local police are notified three
days after Richardís escape, but itís just in time for them
to get to the hotel where Prom is being held, while Richard
has already gone on a killing spree of little or no blood
proportions, looking for his one true love, Donna.
Blah, blah, blah.
Look, I understand the move to make horror films rated
PG-13 so that the high school crowd has something to go see
on the weekend, but come on, canít you at least give me some
horror film being a horror film? First off, itís all girls
in prom dresses. Sure, some of the boobs are hanging out,
but where is the double murder of the hot girl in her
underwear getting ready to sleep with her boyfriend? Then
there are the killings themselves. Our crazed killer is
armed with what looks to be a three or four inch
switchblade, which somehow is able to instantly kill his
victims after four or five stab wounds, usually to the
belly, and sure, maybe itís more realistic for a stab wound
to just leave a little bit of a blood spot on the clothing,
but since when are slasher films about realism? Sure, there
was a throat slashing with some blood flying, but even that
came up lame. Yes, in true horror film genre, the police put
Donna in protective custody at her house when, of course,
they canít find Richard in the hotel, but canít you at least
get a little creative with the boyfriend dying (sorry if I
ruined that for you, but if you didnít see that coming from
a mile away you need to turn in your movie-going ID)?
I should probably text my niece to see if she saw this
movie and what she thought of it, as she tends to enjoy the
horror/slasher movie genre, but for me, who can appreciate
the dumbness of people in a horror movie, I couldnít even
appreciate the dumbness. Itís Ĺ star out of 5 for "Prom
Night" and I don't even know why I'm giving that high of a
rating. I didnít even see "The Ruins" yet, but I would
suggest you see that movie instead, even if you have to
sneak in, because there is no way it could be worse that
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!!