Meet the Spartans
Movie Stats & Links
||Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Ken
Davitian, Kevin Sorbo
||Only if you really
||Carmen wears some
||Only in a totally
||The "Grand Theft
||Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
||Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer,
There is a saying that is so last year, or maybe it is so
last two years ago, but it really is the best way to
describe the movie "Meet the Spartans." That saying is
simply: "It is what it is." It may not be great, it may not
be totally sucky, it just is what it is.
Meet the Spartans
A Movie Review
What "Meet the Spartans" is, is a spoof of the movie
"300," in the spirit of "Scary Movie," yet pretty much
carrying on the laziness that the franchise has developed
into, a la "Epic Movie," "Date Movie," and "Scary Movie 4."
The easy jokes are played out as much as humanly possible,
namely the fake looking abs and gay looking outfits the
Spartans have and wear, with Sean Maquire playing the lead
as Leonidas. In this Sparta the men great each other with
tongue kisses, while the men great the women with a high
five, which, of course, is even more ludicrous since Queen
Margo is played by Carmen Elektra. Anyway, instead of 300
Spartans to fight Xerxes (played by Ken Davitian from
fame), only 13 come along, and we get treated to bad jokes about
"American Idol," "Stomp the Yard," Britney and K-Fed,
"Shrek," "Americaís Next Top Model," "Ghost Rider," and what
the hell, let's bash Paris Hilton some more. The problem is
that the jokes arenít that creative and the "Look-A-Likes"
pretty much donít look anything like who they are supposed
to be making fun of.
I do have to admit that as King of The Land of the Easily
Amused I did find myself chuckle here and there, and found
the spoofing of "Grand Theft Auto" pretty funny, but canít
we get more creative than blurring out the crotches of
Britney, Lindsay, and Paris?
The movie clocks in, technically, at about 84 minutes
long, which for those of you who canít do the calculation
means about an hour and 24 minutes. In reality, though,
skipping the credits, I think the movie was more like an
hour and 15 minutes. Not really a bargain for your buck, but
probably better since you wonít be subjected to another 10
minutes of brain-numbing fun like the Spartan Sonio (Travis Van
Winkle) getting decapitated by a diaper-wearing, fake Rocky
(Dean Cochran), and really, do we ever need to hear from the
"Leave Britney Alone" dude again?
For being, sadly, what this franchise has become, and
being "is what it is," Iíll give "Meet the Spartans" 1 Ĺ
star out of 5 with the only reason achieving that level
being Ĺ star because Carmen Elektra looked hot, Ĺ star for
the "Grand Theft Auto" scene, and Ĺ star for Xerxes turning
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!!