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Jumper
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Hayden Christensen, Samuel L. Jackson, Diane Lane, Jamie Bell, Rachel Bilson
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Web Site: www.jumperthemovie.com
Kiddie Movie: Probably won't be fun for them seeing a dude get gutted.
Date Movie: Only if she's you high school girlfriend.
Gratuitous Sex: David and Millie get it on, but only down to a bra.
Gratuitous Violence: See "Kiddie Movie."
Action: Lots of "jumper" chasing.
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: Nope.
Memorable Quote: Nope.
Directed By: Doug Liman
Produced By: Lucas Foster, Simon Kinberg, Arnon Milchan, Jay Sanders

Jumper
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - PG-13

It's 1:30 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
So youíve got this really cool ability Ė you can teleport just about anywhere in the world just by thinking about it. How do you use it? You break into banks to steal money then spend your days in exotic locations surfing, eating on top of The Sphinx, then pick up women, sleep with them, and teleport back to your swanky pad in New York City. Sure, you could use your ability for good, like rescuing people in a flood, but why bother with being a superhero? Add in a hot dudette you like and some religious wack-jobs hell-bent on killing you, and you pretty much get the movie "Jumper."

Hereís who are involved and what they doÖ

Hayden Christensen, you might remember him as Anakin Skywalker in "Star Wars" II & III, well, he plays David, and heís a dork in high school with an abusive dad and a mom who ran off when he was five years old. He falls through some ice, then finds himself in the local library, and now itís time to rob banks and live the good life. But something is missing from his life, namely the woman he loves, and that woman is Millie (Rachel Bilson). I guess itís hard to find true love when you donít use a door. Other than the woman situation, Davidís life is good up until he runs into Roland (Samuel L. Jackson), who wants him dead. It seems he doesnít like "jumpers" very much, but David is able to get away, finds Millie again, actually takes a plane to whisk her to Rome, where of course they find love while David also finds Griffin (Jamie Bell), a fellow jumper who helps David from not being dead. David now finds out that Roland is the leader of the Paladins, a group of religious nuts whose sole purpose in life is to seek out and kill "jumpers," usually using a way bad-ass taser to subdue said jumper, and then gut them, while Griffin is hell-bent on killing the Paladin.

And so David finds himself caught in the middle of this hidden, religious war, only really wanting to get it on with Millie and maybe catch some London rain. Sure, things arenít that simple because Roland knows the way to kill David is to use Millie, leading up to the climactic fight with Roland where all David wants to do is prove to Roland that he isnít really a bad guy, with no help from Griffin who doesnít want any part in forming a Superhero team.

For me "Jumper" had a lot of potential, although Iím not really sure where that was, because in the end the movie was pretty much about a group of religious fanatics who wanted to kill the "jumpers" because they felt only God should have that kind of power. I would have rather had a movie where David realizes he can do good, almost like Superman, paid back the banks like he said he would, and then maybe worked with Roland to find rogue "jumpers," those that were using their powers for bad. The reason I say that is because it almost seemed to hint that "Jumper" could have been a superhero movie, instead it ended up just being a dork who has a really cool ability and likes the hot girl.

And, oh yea, he has a mom, Mary, played by Diane Lane, who may or may not be good.

I wanted so much more in this movie but didnít get it, and for me itís 1 1/2 stars out of 5 for "Jumper." It might be an okay rental later, if you are 17, but if youíre older youíll probably just find it stupid.

Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

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