Movie Stats & Links
||Will Smith, Charlize Theron,
||Only if you want
them to say "asshole" a lot.
||If she's not a mom
who would be trying to figure out how to get her kids to
stop saying "Asshole."
||It would have made
this movie rated "R," and a lot better.
||Only the before
and the aftermath.
||Hancock does a lot
of superhero flying.
||Quite a few if you
are 14, or 41 and still want to be 14.
||Hancock wanting to
put Mary in the middle of some "frying pan" cymbals.
||Akiva Goldsman, James Lassiter, Michael Mann,
You know what burns my butt? - A candle about two feet
high. You know what else burns my butt? - When movie people
donít want to pull the trigger and just make a movie rated
R, the way it easily should have been, and would have been
done in much better fashion. The problem is that now the
movie folks will do everything they can to keep the movie
rated PG-13 including the "one use of the word Ďfuckí but we
can use Ďassholeí and Ďshit,í and even Ďbitchí to our heart's
content rule," only showing the aftermath of the violent
mayhem rather than the actual violent mayhem, and leaving Charlize Theron with too many clothes on. I guess I could
leave my review of "Hancock" at that, but hell, hereís the
story, without giving away the convolutedness of the ending
plot twist, and Iím not even talking about the fact that
Mary (Theron) has the same powers as Hancock, because I
picked that up from the trailers.
A Movie Review
Here we goÖ
So, John Hancock (Will Smith) is a superhero, but heís
also a drunk and has issues with people. John still goes
about his superhero business, only when youíre a drunk and
have issues with people, well, you generally donít worry
about the financial aftermath of your actions, like
destroying tons of real estate, an entire train, and then
wondering why people donít love you. Enter Ray (Jason
Bateman). Ray is a PR guru, only heís not really guru-ing
lately, is kind of hung-up on this campaign to save the
world, but when Hancock saves his life one day, Ray sees an
opportunity to get Hancock back on the right track in the
superhero world, and maybe resurrect his own PR career. Ray
is also married, conveniently for our story, to Mary.
So, if youíve seen the trailers you know that Hancock
ends up in jail (even though he could break out at any
time), seems to get rehabilitated, dons the "Hancock" suit,
and saves the day, at least so we think.
But things arenít that simple in Hancock-land. Nope, he
feels alone but we quickly find out he isnít alone (Thank
God, because by this time, we get it, Hancock is a schlub
with superhero powers, even if he is rehabilitated), leaving
us with some funny, reuniting scenes, and then the stupid
part of the story arrives, explaining why Hancock can be
injured, what Mary has to do with the story, and how the
prison correction system in California might need some
correcting of its own.
The thing is that I did laugh during the movie, even if
many of the things I laughed at were already given away in
the trailers, and my BFF, who went to the movie with me,
also laughed a lot. My problem, and I canít believe Iím
saying this because it almost makes me sound like an old,
fuddy-duddy, is that even though from the marketing we see
that Hancock is a surly drunk of a superhero, in a weird way
it almost seemed appropriate for those under 13 years old,
maybe even okay for the 8+ crowd, but in full "difference
between the trailer and the final movie" mode, in the
trailers there are scenes where kids call Hancock a
"jackass." In the final version, well, I guess you can
replace every one of those "jackass" comments with the word
"asshole," multiply that by at least ten, and suddenly,
combined with the f-bomb, s-bomb, and b-bomb I mentioned
before, good luck getting your 8 year old from stopping
saying the word "asshole," especially since I donít think a
"time-out" will do it for this.
The movie is pretty funny, sometimes a little serious,
and just about every 14-year old boy in the real world, and
41-year old resident of The Land of the Easily Amused world, will
laugh their ass off with the simplest of jokes, like Hancock
actually letting us see the aftermath of a dude getting his
head shoved another dudeís ass, but, Iím actually knocking
my rating to 2 Ĺ stars out of 5 because, and what the hell
is wrong with me, I was disappointed with the movieís
seeming inappropriateness for the younger ones (please
e-mail me if you think Iím wrong about this). My BFF,
however, said she thought the movie should get 3 Ĺ stars
because, well, it simply made her laugh and wasnít too long,
not even worrying about the children until I brought it up,
then, well, she tried to backtrack, but Iím not going to let
Iím going to finalize this review and give "Hancock" 3
stars out of 5, averaging my and my BFFís ratings. Yes, it
made me laugh, it made my BFF laugh, but I have a feeling,
for adults, this movie could have been a total laugh-riot if
it wasnít PG-13íd, for the children, of course, who might
now have been given a license to call anyone an "asshole." I
have a feeling a "time-out" wonít be enough to stop that.
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!!