Movie Stats & Links
||Lizzy Caplan, Jessica Lucas, T.J.
Miller, Michael Stahl-David, Odette Yustman
||Only if you want
them to throw up with the shaky cam.
||Sit close to the
screen if you want them to throw up.
||People get eaten
and the military shoots at a monster.
||People run from
||The movie is
pretty funny if you don't take it seriously.
||I wish Marlena's
final scene wasn't hidden in quarantine.
||J.J. Abrams, Bryan
Do you remember how you got suckered into the hype of
"The Blair Witch Project," saw it, and then realized it was
actually kind of stupid? Thankfully there hasnít been the
hype about "Cloverfield," because it, also, is all kinds of
stupid. At least it was never purported to be the scariest
movie ever. Letís get to itÖ
A Movie Review
"Cloverfield" gives us a movie where a strange monster
attacks Manhattan, thatís part of New York City for you
people who donít know your geography, and itís one hell of a
monster, only we see the attack through the video camera
held by Hud (T.J. Miller). Heís holding the camera because
he is delegated as the person to document, i.e. videotape,
the going-away party of his buddy Rob (Michael Stahl-David).
Wait a minute; I suppose I should really start from the
As the movie opens the screen tells us that the following
video was recovered from government operation Cloverfield,
and should not be copied. We see Rob and his woman, Beth
(Odette Yustman), beginning to enjoy a day together. They
seem to be lovers. "Yay" for them! Then the video switches
to what develops into Robís going-away party where we find
that Hud has the hots for Marlena (Lizzy Caplan), and things
between Rob and Beth arenít as simple as we were led to
believe. As parties go Robís is okay, especially as people
start drinking and saying things they probably shouldnít.
Suddenly there is a rumble, like an earthquake, people are
scared, they do like all people should do when there might
be an earthquake Ė they head to the roof of their building Ė
only parts of other buildings start flying their way, so now
they head for the streets, along comes the head off of the
Statue of Liberty, and suddenly the movie looks a hell of a
lot like the footage from 9/11 attacks (buildings crumble,
there is white dust rumbling through the streets, papers are
drifting through the air from buildings, and people are
walking around, covered in the white dust, shell-shocked).
But this isnít a terror attack, nope, this time a crazy
lizard-monster is terrorizing the city, and we get to see it
all through the camera being held by Hud.
So as Hud continues to document the evening, our crew,
which also includes Robís brother Jason (Mike Vogel) and a
dudette named Lily (Jessica Lucas), at first attempt to get
off of the island (yes, Manhattan is an island), only to
lose one of them when the Brooklyn Bridge gets taken out by
the monster. Meanwhile, in all of the mayhem, Rob gets a
call from Beth who is trapped and hurt in her apartment.
Rob, because he is in love, throws all common sense to the
wind, decides he must rescue Beth, and of course, the rest
of the crew follows along. In doing so we find out a few
more things, thanks again to the shaky video Hud is taking,
about the monster, like the subway isnít really a good way
to get from point A to point B in the city when a crazy
lizard-monster attacks, and whatever happens, donít get bit.
I will give "Cloverfield" a whole ton of credit for the
originality for what, at its core, could have simply been a
"Godzilla Takes Manhattan" movie. Instead of giving us the
outside view of the terror, the movie gives us the view of
five/four/three/four/two people as they try to stay alive
and save Robís girlfriend. I will also give the movie folks
credit for adding the element of more than just one giant
monster terrorizing the city. I will say that as much as
love is grand, well, our crew is stupid, and in the end, and
although a whole ton of folks seem to be loving this movie,
Iím only giving "Cloverfield" 2 Ĺ stars out of 5. The shaky,
hand-held perspective was necessary for this movie to work,
the monster element was necessary for the movie to work, but
mostly I just laughed at the stupidness of our crew.
Itís a popcorn movie; see it if you must, just be
thankful there isnít the wacky hype convincing you that you
must see this movie and just try to have fun.
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!!