Zombies


Rated: R | Running Time: 84 Minutes
From: Broadgreen Pictures
In theaters and VOD:  September 29, 2017
Get it via : Amazon | iTunes

Zombies - A movie reviewIf zombies are in a movie it is usually because it’s time for a zombie apocalypse. There are also, usually, two kinds of zombie apocalypse movies, the serious, “Let’s try to pretend this could be real” kind, and the campy, horror-ish, fun kind, complete with enough blood splatter to wonder how the human body can hold so much blood.

“Zombies” is the campy, fun kind, until the ending scene. So much for fun.

“Zombies” gives us Luke (Steven Luke) and Detective Sommers (The always fun Tony Todd). As the zombie apocalypse is taking hold in their town, our heroes make it out of the police station while Luke leaves his buddy, Dave (Marcus Dee) locked up in a cage (he was bitten), behind. Their goal? Save the world, or at least as many people in their town who aren’t infected.

To help them is the fact that these are the slow-moving zombies, stupid and easy to kill, but there is still strength in numbers in zombie-ness, so they do have to take precautions. Sometimes the precautions are simple. Take, for example, the scene where Luke runs across an old-timer, “It’s a little dangerous sitting here on the porch, out in the open.” “Nah, I got my beer. I got my shotgun.” As good a plan if I ever heard one. Other times you need the heavy fire-power, like a later scene at a farm. A sharp machete doesn’t hurt, either.

Luke, being the hero, when he finds out there might be a group of survivors being held captive by a crazy woman in a building downtown, he is off through the tunnels to save them.

Now, being a hero doesn’t always make you smart, and when Luke finds Ms. Crazy, also known as Haley (Heidi Fellner), he finds that she has completely gone mad, yet he trusts her for some reason. Thankfully this is good for the movie as we get a smorgasbord of fun and gore as the zombies go on an eating frenzy. What did confuse me, though, is how Haley was safe from all of this? Oh, well, it was fun, campy movie time!

With Luke in a bind enter Bena (Raina Hein). She saves him from a pack of zombies, and also is the one Luke to want to hook up with. Yes, you need love during the zombie apocalypse.

With Bena and her sister, Tala (Amanda Day), Luke decides to leave the safety of the compound that he and the good detective have set up. Why? He’s off to help Bena and her family. Now it’s off to daddy’s farm!

Thankfully, at the farm, dad (Todd Vance) is kind of dumb. Sure, he has this elaborate trap set for the zombies, but he forgets to set the power. Oh no! What do to? Yay, dad’s stupidity leads to one of the most fun scenes in the movie – zombie harvesting!

With the zombie killing over it was time for a very special “Zombies,” which was depressing in itself, but I was alright with it. The fun, blood splattering movie turned serious. Fine. Unfortunately the film folks didn’t stop there with the “no fun zombie movie.” They went for even more sad and depressing-ness in another turn when we find that Dave (the friend left in the jail cell) is still alive. With the movie becoming sad enough, it took an even more sad turn. And ended.

Yup, the credits rolled, and I simply said to myself, “Self, what the hell was with the crap ending?”

Here’s the thing for me, I enjoy B-style movies for the most part. I can understand the acting won’t win any Academy Awards, I love when the fake blood splatters on the camera lens protector, and I have fun with stupid dialogue. However, if it’s campy fun, please keep it campy fun. Don’t end the movie with the “you probably killed all of those people, and one special person, for nothing” moment. Blah!

If you like a campy, dorky zombie film, “Zombies” isn’t bad, basically about a 3 1/2 star, blood splattering piece of enjoyment, but do yourself a favor and stop the movie after the zombie harvesting. Skip the ending as it takes the film on a “what the hell” turn, and for me, dropped the movie 1 star. Yup, about 5 minutes of film left me with a 2 1/2 star film.

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

  • tvance929

    Dumb dad says, Thanks for the review!!!