Maybe I’m Finally Old

Do you sign up for every, new, social media platform?

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I signed up for last night. I’m told it’s the latest thing, like Facebook was the latest thing, like Twitter, like Snapchat, like Vine, like MySpace (Do the kids even know what MySpace is, or Prodigy, or AOL?), and because I want to be hip I had to be a part of it. Yup, you can find me with my username, @aplabis, which is also where you can find me on Twitter. You can also find me on MySpace at, hmm, what was I on MySpace? Oh, yea, The Dude on the Right. But don’t look for me on Snapchat, you’re better off looking for my mom-in-law, GrandmaEleanor, she’s a hoot.

Anywho, I signed up for Peach, made a quick post, found a cute GIF of puppies, and posted my weather, but as I write this I still have no friends. I could probably have friends, most likely searching for people I follow on Twitter by using their Twitter handle, or using some phone number search thing they have on Peach, but then I’m just now following the same people on Peach that I now follow on Twitter, which are also some of the same people I have as friends on Facebook, and a few of the people I know who use SnapChat.

Peach is touted as “a refreshingly fun and simple way to keep up with friends and be yourself.” There are “magic” words to help you post fun stuff, words like “gif, here, goodmorning, goodnight, battery, weather, move, meetings, safari, dice, time, date, movie, tv” which means yes, you can share how much battery power is left on your phone. Yes, I just stopped writing, went to the Peach app on my phone, and shared with my zero friends¬†that I have 98% of my battery left. Oh, that’s right, on Peach I don’t have friends, I am supposed to have a “squad,” with¬†two, Playboy-looking emoji seeming to want to lure me to build my squad.

I suppose as I assemble my squad that Peach will make more sense, but right now I am alone, adrift in a sea of “Great, another social media site I have to sign up for so that I can secure my name, I mean, so I can share pictures of our dog, Milo!”, feeling like a loser with no friends, I mean squad, and wonder if joining Peach will just be another place I don’t post stuff, but where someone in the future will find my old profile and say, “Wow, his phone had 98% charge left on his battery. I wonder what a battery is? Oh, look, those puppies are cute.”

So now I’m on Peach. Woo hoo! I signed up for another social media site because, well, it’s what I do when I hear about them, but I do wonder: Do you sign up for every, new, social media platform?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!