You Don't Mess With the Zohan A Movie Review	MPAA Rated - PG-13 It's 1:53 Long A Review by The Dude on the Right

Adam Sandler is Zohan, an Israeli soldier who has mad skills but is frustrated at the everlasting war with the Palestians, especially since he just wants to be a hairdresser. As such he fakes his own death, stows away in a crate with some dogs, and gets himself to New York City to pursue his dream. When he can’t get a job at the Paul Mitchell Hair Salon, and then sticks up for a nerdy bicyclist, he finds himself landing a job sweeping the floors of Palestinian hairdresser Dalia, (Emmanuelle Chriqui). Soon enough, though, he shows he has a talent for cutting hair, but more importantly, making the older ladies feel good, and suddenly he’s the talk of the haircutting world, is saving Dalia’s shop from being taken over by the big, bad developer Walbridge (would you believe played, innnnnnnn thisssssssssssss corrrrrrnneerrrrrrrrr, by the boxing ring announcer, Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiichael Buffffferrrrrrrrrrrrrr?), but this comedy isn’t that simple, nope, because Salim (Rob Schneider), who had his goat stolen by the Zohan, spots our soldier, tries to kill him with a Neosporin bomb, then contacts Zohan’s archenemies/terrorist, The Phantom (John Turturro).

So we’ve got the nice plot of Zohan just trying to follow his dream, then the sub-plot of being I.D.’d and his dream now in jeopardy, and the sub-sub-plot of the bad developer dude trying to run the locals out of the neighborhood so he can put up his mega-mall, and, oh yea, did I forget to mention Mariah Carey in probably an even more weird cameo than that of Michael Buffer?

So if the story lines weren’t a few too many, then there is Adam Sandler and his other writers in total over-the-top, almost like "Let’s see how far we can take PG-13 by showing a lot of bare-butts, having Zohan gyrate his crotch till the joke isn’t funny anymore, have another sub-plot that part of Zohan's giving a great haircut includes taking the ladies into a back room to give them a happy ending, and you know what else would be funny, a hacky-sack tournament!"

The bummer part is that there was a ton of potential for this concept of a movie, the trailer showed some of the funny of that concept, but they just went for the stupid laughs (we find that Zohan’s wiener isn’t as large as the bulge in his pants suggests, but instead Zohan’s "bush" is out of control, and it supposedly pleases the ladies because it creates a cushion), and for the life of me, I’m still not understanding the hummus joke.

I actually liked the Zohan character but could have done without the dumbness of the sex jokes, and from the creativity that should be Adam Sandler, Robert Smigel, and Judd Apatow, that was a trifecta that screamed "funny." Maybe their problem was having to figure out a way to make the sex-side funny to keep the movie PG-13, for the Adam Sandler crowd, and that inhibited them, but if that’s the case, next time writer dudes, skip the writing.

The only thing that really made me laugh was a scene with George Takei, but even that won’t make much sense if you don’t know Mr. Takei’s sexual orientation.

I’ve come to realize that Adam Sandler movies, at least lately, seem to be all about the potential of the movie and never on the final product, which is too bad because there seems to always be a lot of potential. It’s 1 ½ Stars out of 5 for "You Don’t Mess with the Zohan."

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!