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« Why Are People Killing People? My Research says Global Warming. | Main

May 28, 2007

$27,852 - Throw a Wedding or Head to Fiji. You Can Have Both.

Well, wedding season is upon us, and I have received my first wedding invitation of the season. As I was filling in the RSVP I was wondering how much one of these "celebrations" cost people nowadays. According to USA Today the average wedding is $27,852. Holy hell!!! Do you know what one could do with that kind of cash???? Here are some better things one could do with $27,852

  • Put a down-payment on a new pad.
  • Buy a new, pretty nice car.
  • Buy a Harley.
  • Go on an exotic vacation to Fiji, Tahiti, Hawaii, or just a kick-ass, first-class-all-the-way vacation to someplace not as exotic.
  • Buy a kick-ass entertainment center
  • Redo your existing pad
  • Or yes, as boring as it might sound, you could invest the cash and retire, hopefully a year or two earlier.
  • Any way you look at it there are a whole lot of things better one could do with the money then feed your fat, bastard friends and family. Mind you this $27,852 price tag also takes into account you invited 400 people. (That actually seems kind of cheap to me, $69.63 per person - I suppose if you could convince each guest to pony up $100 and not buy you a crystal bowl then maybe getting married might not be a bad idea.) Sorry, I digressed. Now who knows 400 people that they actually like enough to feed and get liquored up??? Anyone?? I don't think I could possibly think of 100 people I like enough to feed and buy numerous round of drinks for. What a scam?

    But wait... I also discovered a bigger wedding scam in my search.  I found you can actually buy wedding insurance. Now whomever thought of that was a genius, getting the idea to once again capitalize on the entire wedding "tradition." It looks like you can pay money to cover wedding costs for a drunken family member busting a hip while dancing the Macarena, death or illness of one of the love birds, a runaway bride, wardrobe mishaps, and even the cost of redoing those precious photos because you hired your cousin to take those photos and they got lost in his drunken partying. Got to admit this is the biggest scam next to selling vitamins or cleaning products!

    Now I know there are some people out there saying, "Oh, Trash, you are just bitter cuz you ain't married." My answer: "Thank heavens!" I cannot imagine spending that kind of cash on something, especially adding the religious ceremony aspect to it. I don't go to church and plunk down that kind of dough to be preached at, so why do it now??? Let us not forget that what actually makes you married is when you sign a legal contract with the government stating that you want to be tied to another human being for the rest of your life. So the next time you are heading off to a wedding, go ahead and toss the same amount of money in that wedding envelope that you would when you attend church on Sunday. Oh, in my case I guess that means... Nothing!

    Thinking about it, though, if I ever do get married, maybe I'll just put on the wedding invite what I think is an appropriate gift, probably about 60% above what the blessed event is actually costing me.  That would pay for a nice, exotic vacation, I mean honeymoon, on top of it all.  Would that be tacky?

    See ya!
    Trash :-)

    Posted by Trash at May 28, 2007 5:58 PM


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