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March 21, 2007

Why Do Men Understand Boobs Better Than Women?

So, I have shared my nudie bar adventure in Vegas to the masses, and what I have noticed is that all you men out there appreciate my experience. You all are interested in how good the boobs looked, what size they were, if they were perfectly shaped, and if they were just generally attractive. These are the types of questions I had hoped would come out of my experience: An appreciation of the cosmetic surgeon's work.

BUT THEN… Here come the girlfriends, wives, and general psycho females to ruin my investigative reporting, who are more interested in trying to make the sweet stripper into a cow with breasts. Now this is what I do not understand: Women have breasts, most having breasts by the time they are 30 that are usually bigger then a 5 year olds. So by the time you are in your thirties I expect a woman to understand what a breast size means. Hell, most men I know can tell me what size my breasts are without a tape measure! Apparently the concept a 40D breast size that is SILICONE or SALINE, a.k.a. AN IMPLANT must now somehow equate to the size of the women. Have you picked up a Playboy magazine lately ladies (you know you allllllll want too)? Fake boobs are perfect and usually much, much larger then anything a woman of age 23, weighing 115 lbs, would ever have as an act of nature. So when I am telling you that the sweet and cute stripper had 40D boobs, DON’T tell me she was fat. First off, she was not. She was far from fat, and because I know she had silicone implants, having larger boobs just made sense - If you are sending a skilled surgeon into your chest to improve something, and it isn’t your heart, you sure are not going for the 32A special - That would seem pretty pointless.

So please, girls, I know you don’t like when your husband, boyfriend, booty-call nor lesbian lover likes looking at other women's breasts, but don’t start bashing the girls that possess them. This does not make you better then her, does not make your significant-other worship you more, it mostly makes you seem jealous! Ladies, sometimes we have to THINK before we speak! Geez!!!!

See ya!
Trash :-)

Posted by Trash at 7:15 PM | Comments (0)

March 12, 2007

Las Vegas Has Boobs, and They Feel Nice.

I just got back from my annual Las Vegas trip. Each time I visit I like to try something new and this time the cosmic Vegas energy pulled me toward a nudie bar. Yepper, I said “nudie bar,” otherwise known as a Gentleman's Club. These places are pretty much a mystery for most of the girlfriends and wives in the world, and I can officially say that what you think happens in there is nothing close to reality. Granted I can only speak to the one I went into, but it was Vegas, and it was a nudie bar. Kicking off, the girls that I met are really great to talk to, and I learned a great deal about the business. I am sure you don’t want those boring details so I will move onto the good stuff…. breasts. Yes, I finally got my hands on a good, silicone-filled breast. I have always wanted to feel one of those (having been blessed with big, natural hooters, I don’t need to enhance mine), and I have always thought they looked different - Perfectly round and both boobs match, which is not the case with real ones. They are a little firmer then real ones, but all in all I would have to say they feel pretty damn nice, kind of like a firm pillow, which was proven when the girls allowed me to do a “motor-boat” in them. I also have to mention that the girl's skin is the softest I have ever felt, next to a baby's. The skin treatments these girls use definitely pays off, leaving their skin kind of like a firm pillow with flannel sheets.

Now it was also brought to my attention that you guys out there are not allowed to touch these soft, firm boobs, which would explain why every guy in the place had their hands hanging off the sides of the chair like they were paralyzed, I guess so that Brutus the bouncer doesn’t come over and kick your ass. So, any vision women have that the guy is groping the girl on his lap is pretty much wrong, unless the girl gives permission (which does not seem to be often). Pretty much he cannot touch her. I was also a little surprised by the lap dance experience. Now don’t get me wrong, it is pretty cool, but it is the only time the girl had no top on. Also, since there was alcohol being served, she had on a g-string, so she is not completely naked. The lap dance is pretty much a lot of rubbing and boobs in your face only she does the rubbing and you’re not rubbing her, although I did get a spank in on her firm, little butt (I am a female so Brutus was not going to kick my ass).

I was disappointed in the stage dancers because they didn’t do acrobatic stunts on the pole. I guess Hollywood makes that look more interesting, but for the most part the girls just danced around the stage, around the pole. A little bit of a bummer.

All in all I think women need to visit a nudie bar at least once and see that what you think is going on is much worse then the reality of what is going on. There is a difference between a hooker and a stripper, or exotic dancer as they are sometimes called, and granted some strippers may blur the line. But if your man is willing to do that, a strip club is the least of your worries. And besides, the sex you get from your man after he has been all teased up by a stripper is definitely worth the price of his admission to these places. So girls, LIGHTEN UP!

See Ya!
Trash

Posted by Trash at 8:20 PM | Comments (1)