Dear Walt:
Yeah... I remember you. You big horse's ass! In case you
didn't know, I used to be a part time Dude. I remember you
asking for advice about that chick you dated from the meat
packing plant? I suggested you pack your meat using a
natural case sausage wrapper (sheep intestine condom)? Ever
read the Memorial Day Sheena Easton Review? Any of this ring
a bell? That was me ...
About you and your ongoing problems. Jesus bald headed
Christ!!! I've never heard so much pissing and moaning come
out of one guy about chicks. Give up trying to figure out
the psychos of the human species (females) and become a monk
or something. Some people just weren't meant to have
relationships and you fit into that category.
Let me tell you, from my own personal experience, long
distance relationships can be a lot of fun, but they rarely
ever work. For example... I dated a hot Kraut who lived in
Germany for about four months. Man this chick loved getting
tied up. The sex may have been great, but the travel costs
were outrageous! Do you know how much lovn' a grand can buy
here in the US? Then there was this hair dresser from Canada
I dated for a little over a year. This girl had internal
muscle control like you wouldn't believe (best I ever had).
We saw each other about every other month and did nothing
but hump. We didn't make slow boring passionate love... more
like animals in heat! But aside from being great sexual
partners, we had little in common. I think she's married now
- I sure do envy that husband of hers. Basically, the only
thing I got out of my long distance relationships was a lot
of great sex and a huge ass phone bill.
Relationships are partnerships. Partnerships are
compromise. Compromise is giving in and I don't think any
man should give into any woman. But woman, by nature, should
always be submissive to men. Walt, do you really want to get
tied down? Right now you got it great pal. You've got a sex
toy you can bounce off your lap every other month and you
still get to screw around with a couple of locals. Forget
this moving in shit, it'll just wind up in court (marriage,
divorce, or paternity). I say you just stick with the
"every other month, non-committal, sex-capade"
plan.
If you're all hot about this chick, then have her give up
her life and move in here with you. But, don't let her free
load - you get her ass to work right away. Who cares if she
can't put her degree to work? You don't need a degree to say
"you want fries with that?" However, if your life
here sucks, then by all means move in with her, but work it
for all you can. No need for you to jump back into the job
market right away. Hey, you're a man. Men have skills that
need to be utilized damn it! So until that right job comes
along, the two of you can live off the love you have for
each other and her savings account. Then when things get
bad, and they always do, tell her she was the biggest
mistake you ever made and come back home. You've lost
nothing, got a vacation, and had lots of sex! God I love it
when a plan comes together..........
Stu |
Dear Walt,
Hip you in? What the hell does that mean? Let's see, Mr.
Loser, you want my advice after you spent two sentences
telling me that we suck. Yup, I'd say you need serious help!
Now to your questions. Oh please, spare the poor girl.
I'm sure the only reason she is your one true love is
because she did you and you could take off without having to
face her again. For most guys I know, they dream of that
situation. It sounds like you haven't been getting any
lately, so I think you may have gotten tired of the first
love of your life (Rosey palm). Besides, what makes you so
sure she would want to be with your? She may not have
enjoyed herself one bit!
If I were you I would just be happy she touched you and
move on. You still come out a head, oops, I mean ahead.
See ya!
Trash |
Stu
Says...
Trash
Says...
