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In The Alley...  Cheap Advice
Stu Gotz & Trash


Help! I need advice from Stu & Trash!

Dear Stu and Trash,
Is it OK to lie to someone you love to avoid hurting their feelings?
Worried Lover

Stu Says...

Trash Says...

Dear Worried,
Let me share a story with you. It goes like this:

"Does this outfit make me look fat?" she asked me while looking herself over in a mirror. I ignored her question and asked her where the car keys were. The keys were in my hand, but I was trying to change the subject. "I don't know. Check the kitchen table." she responded.

Whew! That was a close one.
"So does it?"
"Shit!" I thought to myself. "Found the keys Hon, I'm gonna warm up the car."
"Hold it! I asked you a question. Aren't you listening to me?"
"Huh? What?" I asked.
"This dress. Does it make me look fat?"
"I'm sure it looks lovely. I'm gonna..."
"You're not even looking at me! Come here!"

I walked over to her and stood behind her staring at her image in the mirror. God how I loved her. My love for her was unconditional. I would love her no matter what. Fat, thin, bald, or blind. It wouldn't matter because I whole heartedly and honestly loved her. Maybe too honestly.

"Well does it?" she asked.
"No honey, the fat makes you look fat."

People say honesty is the best policy. I say bullshit to that! Honesty got me kicked out of my place for about a week. So, I say, lie your ass off - just don't get caught. If you do get caught, deny everything, admit nothing, demand proof, stick to your story, and take it to your grave. Telling lies to save the feelings of someone you love is OK in Stu's book, but never cheat on or steal from them.


Dear Worried,
My first thought to your question was.. Is your name The Sun? Therefore, the world revolves around you? If you had to ask that question only one thing could have did something that made you (and only you) happy regardless of how it would matter to someone else. But then I thought (two thoughts in one day, a new record) this person could know something that was going to happen or was said about the one they love. This doesn't make the person self centered, just inconsiderate.

If you are in the first category you really need to ask I truly love that person. For example, nothing is more bogus (and painful) then when the person you love tells you...."Oh, me and her are just friends," "I love you honey," "she is just one of the guys." Then you turn the corner and see him with his hands all over her. If you really didn't want to hurt that person you never would have done it anyway.

Then there is always the light hearted lie. Everyone knows your significant other doesn't have the body to pull off that outfit, but you continue to let them wear it, looking stupid , embarrassing themselves. Everyone is only laughing at the person. You are clever enough to use a computer you can be clever enough to lose the outfit for them, then no lie has to ever enter the picture. When you lie, the truth will eventually come forward and bite you in the butt (unless you have $$ to pay off people or hire a high priced lawyer).

See Ya...

Help! I need advice from Stu & Trash!

Editor's Disclaimer: Cheap Advice from Stu Gotz & Trash is part serious, part entertainment. Their answers are blunt, sometimes biased, sometimes sexist, and sometimes they even try to be funny. Neither Stu nor Trash have any education in psychology, psychiatry, or really in advising people at all, but they do have an opinion and their advice is meant to be taken for what it is - free advice.


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