The Dude’s TV: R.I.P.


The Dude on the Right

Maybe it’s just a fuse, maybe it was God telling me I shouldn’t watch John
McCain’s speech at the Republican Convention, but yesterday, just as I was
getting ready to settle on to my couch to see how John McCain will save the
world in a better way than Barack Obama (because that is what these conventions
are all about, aren’t they?), I went to turn on the TV in my living room, and,
well, it didn’t turn on. Because I couldn’t believe it wouldn’t actually turn
on, of course I kept pushing the power button about twenty times, both on the
remote and on the TV itself, and still nothing happened. What to do, what to do?
I fished the TV power cord from out of the power strip, went to my garage to get
an extension cord, plugged it into an outlet I knew was working, plugged the TV
into the extension cord, and wouldn’t you know it, my TV still didn’t turn on.

Now I know that my TV had been making funny noises a few weeks ago, but those
noises, surprisingly, had gone away, and things were working well.  I
figured my TV was just going through a phase, but sadly, it looks like that
phase was "Screw you, you ‘America’s Got Talent’ watcher. I just can’t take it
anymore, and since you continue to watch crap shows like "America’s Got No
Talent," "Dancing with Loser Stars," and "Yup, These People are Fat," or
something like them, I’m done. I just can’t take it anymore.  I’ll show

Yup, I think my TV just couldn’t stand my TV viewing habits, and with a new
TV season upon it, and my forcing it to show another season of the Chicago Bears
while the Chicago Cubs totally collapse during September, it felt it was actually
doing me a favor by shorting itself out, thereby making me realize that there
might actually be life without television.

But what my TV didn’t realize was that its days were numbered anyway, what
with him being an old tube, non High-Def television, and as I know The Chicago
Bears will be in the Super Bowl in 2009 (I am so optimistic right now), I was
looking to kick him to the curb anyway, or maybe put him in my bedroom,
especially when those great sales came around before the big game.  I’m
thinking, though, that I still might wait for those big sales, in the meantime
moving my basement TV to the living room, and putting my really old TV that is
still in the garage in the basement, even if the color is all discombobulated on
that old TV.  Who cares if green grass is red, anyway?

In the meantime, maybe I’ll put my broken TV on eBay.  If Governor Sarah
Palin can try to sell an airplane on eBay, maybe some sucker, I mean handyman, I
mean handyperson, will want a broken TV.  At least I should be able to make
some money on the shipping and handling!

That’s it for this one! 
I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!