MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:43 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Movie Stats & Links
Starring: David Duchovny, Julianne Moore, Orlando Jones, Seann William Scott
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Dreamworks SKG
Release Date: 2001
Kiddie Movie: Some of it is pretty intense. Keep the kids older.
Date Movie: She’ll probably chuckle like you’ll chuckle.
Gratuitous Sex: Talked about but nothing on screen.
Gratuitous Violence: Alien bugs get shot.
Action: Alien bugs get chased.
Laughs: What you will expect.
Memorable Scene: Our boys chasing the flying alien in the mall.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Ivan Reitman

You know, as stupidly funny as “Evolution” was, I know it is one of those movies that when it shows up on cable I’ll watch it over and over again. Such is the genius of Ivan Reitman – his films never come off as movie masterpieces, but they are movies you will watch over and over again because they are what they are – fun movies.

“Evolution” gives us David Duchovny as Ira. He’s a professor at a community college in Arizona. So is Harry (Orlando Jones), but Harry has the slightly better gig also coaching the girls volleyball team. Then you’ve got Wayne (Seann William Scott) – he’s a firefighter wannabe practicing out in the dessert one night when a meteor totals his car. Harry gets called to the scene because he is a geologist and he brings along Ira for the ride. They sense something might be up from the get-go because, well, the meteor is oozing liquid. Harry and Ira collect some samples and it’s back to the lab.

Well, back in the lab Ira discovers something – there are living things in that ooze and they are evolving way to quickly for this world. A quick visit back to the meteor site and it’s clear they will either be on their way to claiming the Nobel Peace Prize or something bad is coming. Meanwhile, without our heroes’ knowledge, the government steps in to contain the meteor site and they want nothing to do with Ira and Harry. Eventually they befriend Allison (Julianne Moore). She’s working with the feds in studying the site and also has the hots for Ira but just doesn’t show it.

Well, the government people have no clue what they’re in for, Harry and Ira show Allison what is coming, Wayne gets hooked up with our boys and girl because he has caught one of the aliens, and it’s up to our foursome to save the world. Yes, you can guess it, they do.

Lots of people are making comparisons of “Evolution” to “Ghostbusters” and sure, there are similarities, but who really cares. “Evolution” gives us one of the next great movie comics in Orlando Jones, Duchovny shows he has a witty style of humor that can take him past his “X-Files” days, and Julianne Moore, well, she’s Julianne Moore. And, oh yea, he may never get past the dopey dude moniker, but Seann William Scott is perfect as the dopey dude. And let’s not forget the special effects for the aliens. They fly, they crawl, the look like cute blobs that will take your hand off, and they take us a lot farther than the ghosts did in the ghost movies.

Ivan Reitman has a great touch at developing lovable, dopey characters and maybe that’s why a movie like “Evolution” will, in the end, be one of those movies you will keep watching for the hundredth time when it lands on cable. It may not be the movie masterpiece you are looking for this summer, but “Evolution” is exactly what you probably will expect from it – a cute movie to chuckle along with. It’s 3 ½ stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Dude, Where’s My Car?

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:30 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Dude, Where’s My Car?
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Seann William Scott, Kristy Swanson, Jennifer Garner,
Marla Sokoloff, Fabio, Stuttering John
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 2000
Kiddie Movie: Not too young, lots of pot, sex, and drinking talk.
Date Movie: If she’s got a twisted sense of humor.
Gratuitous Sex: Lots of talk and girls in tight shirts.
Gratuitous Violence: Maybe just the “Super-Hot Giant Alien” blowing up.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: I laughed a lot. Maybe I’ve just gone crazy.
Memorable Scene: Nothing totally stands out.
Memorable Quote: The little boy looking up the Super-Hot Giant Alien’s skirt to his dad: “I want to go on that ride, daddy!” which the dad replies “Me too!” and this exchange:
“A barn?”
“Is it red?”
“Then it’s not a barn.”
Directed By: Danny Leiner

I think I’ve now finally secured it – I’m going to hell. Why? Because at 10:30 on Sunday morning, when I should have been at church, I was at one of the worst movies I have seen and I found myself enjoying it – “Dude, Where’s My Car?”

The story starts out simple, Jesse (Ashton Kutcher) and Chester (Seann William Scott) wake up not really knowing what happened the night before. They attribute this to being totally wasted and it’s easy to see how that could happen. So the movie begins with our duo trying to put back the pieces to what must have been a fabulous night, especially as they begin to find out some of the things that have happened, starting with Greg (Stuttering John Melendez), peeing in their plant. They meet up with Christie Boner (Kristy Swanson) who let one of our duo feel her up, they stumble into the nudie bar where they find they were the kings of the bar, and then things really get weird finding out that they were in charge of a suitcase full of money, gave a couple aliens a ride back to their spaceship, and played some pretty good miniature golf. And if you think that’s weird, it’s their day after, when they found out what happened the night before, that things really start taking twists and turns by adding the bubble-wrap people, the continuum transfunctioner, and the Super-Hot Giant Alien.

This is the kind of movie that most reviewers won’t give two cents worth of their time to watch, and you know what, I don’t blame them, but for some reason all of the lame, stupid, obvious, and childish jokes made me laugh. From the exchange of Jesse and Chester describing their tattoos, to the Chinese drive-in, to the Rubik’s Cube, to the bubble suits the space cult people were wearing, I laughed. Maybe sometimes I need mindless fun, and “Dude, Where’s My Car?” provided me and the four other people that blew off church in favor of a movie that simple pleasure.

I won’t take any more of your time with this review for this movie except to say if you go into this movie expecting what you think the trailers show, well, you’ll probably enjoy it a little. If you go to this movie thinking this will be one of the most thought-provoking comedies of all time, well, you’ll probably leave by the time the dog smokes his own one-hitter. I’m giving “Dude, Where’s My Car?” 3 stars out of 5. It’s stupid fun – expect that.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Dudes of Hazzard

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:46 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

The Dukes of Hazzard
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville, Jessica Simpson, Willie Nelson, Burt Reynolds
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Warner Bros.
Release Date: 2005
Kiddie Movie: There’s some insinuated smoking of the wacky weed and naughty outfits. Leave them at home.
Date Movie: Only if you want her to leave you.
Gratuitous Sex: Just lots of skimpy outfits.
Gratuitous Violence: Some punching and shooting going on, but no one gets killed.
Action: Lots of car chasing, but then what did you expect?
Laughs: Mostly chuckles or groans.
Memorable Scene: Nothing really stands out although the outtakes were kinda funny.
Memorable Quote: During the outtakes: “Every time I look at her titties…”
Directed By: Jay Chandrasekhar

Dammit, I hate being so easily amused. I’m not saying that because of that I’m going to recommend “The Dukes of Hazzard,” ah hell no, even though I did get a good chuckle, but before you hand over your hard earned cash for a ticket for this flick, you’d better be doing so expecting some pretty bad dialogue that might make you laugh or groan, you won’t see nearly as much of Jessica Simpson as you figured you might have, and expect an hour and a half movie that could have been turned into your standard one hour episode.

The basic story goes like this…

Bo and Luke Duke return to the screen, this time played by Stiffler and Jackass. Okay, I’m sorry, that joke is too easy. Seann William Scott plays Bo and Johnny Knoxville plays Luke. They’re running moonshine for Uncle Jessie (Willie Nelson), usually one step ahead of the Sheriff, and always messing with the plans of Boss Hogg, this time played by Burt Reynolds. As this story goes, the Duke boys can’t figure out why one of the town’s most famous sons has returned to race again in their little road race, nor why Boss Hogg is going around planting problems on farms so that the county can confiscate them, including Uncle Jessie’s farm. So it’s up to our heroes, along with Daisy (Jessica Simpson), to figure out what is going on, and of course, to save the day with only seconds to spare. In doing so they wreak havoc with a safe, make their way to Atlanta to get some soil samples studied, hook-up with some college girls, and piss of the neighborhood gang members with their car sporting the Confederate Flag and soot covered faces (yes, that is the kind of humor you can expect).

This movie isn’t rocket science, isn’t meant to win any awards, and pretty much has as cheesy a story as one of the television episodes that I barely remember. The dialogue is pretty inane, the car chases don’t really break any new ground, but for some reason I actually liked Scott’s and Knoxville’s portrayal of the loveable Bo and Luke Duke. Sure, they turn this movie a little more risqué, complete with college girls in skimpy outfits, some bong usage with said college girls, and some smoking of something with the Governor, but hell, it’s not 1980 anymore.

I will agree with most critics and say this movie is pretty useless, but I did laugh a little. In the end I’ll give it 1 ½ stars out of 5. The teens around me seemed to find it funnier, and I am easily amused, so take what I say with a grain of salt. You will get exactly the dorky movie you probably expect if you go and see “The Dukes of Hazzard,” so just sit back and enjoy that.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

American Wedding

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:45 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

American Wedding
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jason Biggs, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Seann William Scott, Alyson Hannigan, Eugene Levy, Fred Willard, Nikki Schieler Ziering
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Universal Pictures
Kiddie Movie: Oh no.
Date Movie: Sure, it’s about a wedding.
Gratuitous Sex: Some gratuitous nudity.
Gratuitous Violence: Funny.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Lots.
Memorable Scene: Stifler losing the ring.
Memorable Quote: Too many to list.
Directed By: Jesse Dylan

Well, the boys and girls are back, or at least most of them, in what is supposed to be the last of the “American Pie” series. This time it’s “American Wedding,” where our boy Jim (Jason Biggs, a.k.a. The Pie Fucker) is marrying the first girl he slept with, namely Michelle (Alyson Hannigan, a.k.a. The Lesbian on Buffy). Also back are Finch, Kevin, Jim’s Dad and the must have or you might as well just forget the movie, Stifler. Is it as funny as the original? Does it rise above number two? For me it nicely stuck to the framework of the movies, maybe a little more sappiness (it is about a wedding after all), but it still kept me laughing and almost made me throw up. For me, that’s good enough.
In a hilarious opening scene, once again Jim finds himself in an embarrassing situation, once again not caused by, but aided by his Dad. The question is asked, she says “Yes,” and it’s off to a hilarious look at planning a wedding, setting up a bachelor party, and Stifler trying to land himself a virgin, namely Cadence (January Jones), Michelle’s sister.

I will say that at the beginning of the film I was getting irked because they really put Stifler’s character over the top, so much so that there wouldn’t be any friendship left in my eyes, to the point of why don’t you just call the cops and get him out of your life. But with the addition of Cadence, and Stifler trying to score, it became even better how he transformed himself into the best man, still being rude, crude, and one funny dude.

In the end “American Wedding” adds a new level of gross-out comedy, makes you glad you’re not Jim, although Michelle is quite the sex-crazed girl, so maybe being Jim isn’t so bad, and if you liked either of the first “Pies” you’ll probably enjoy “Wedding.” But, if you didn’t get the humor of the first one’s stay away because this one will probably disgust you even more.

It’s 4 1/2 stars out of 5 for this one. They lost 1/2 star for Stifler being so over the top at the beginning, but that’s really the only complaint I have about the movie.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

American Pie 2

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:50 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

American Pie 2 – DVD Review
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Haningan, Chris Klein, Natasha Lyonne, Eugene Levy, Seann William Scott, Tara Reid, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Eddie Kaye Thomas
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Universal Home Video
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want to explain why super glue can be funny.
Date Movie: Sure.
Gratuitous Sex: Lots of talk, a nipple or two, unfortunately none of them were Michelle’s nor Vicky’s.
Gratuitous Violence: Maybe shoving a trumpet up someone’s ass, but that’s about it.
Action: Only boys hoping they don’t get caught by potential lesbians.
Laughs: Just like the first movie.
Memorable Scene: Stiffler’s unrequested golden shower as well as Jim playing the trombone.
Memorable Quote: Jim at band camp: “My name is Petey and I have gigantic balls!” and Jim’s Dad: “Don’t forget your penis cream.”
Directed By: J.B Rogers

I’ve got a couple of questions for you. Did you like “American Pie?” You did. You’ll probably like “American Pie 2.” You didn’t like “American Pie?” Don’t rent or buy “American Pie 2.” It’s as simple as that.

So our favorite characters are fresh out of their first year of college and they’re all looking to party for the next three months, as well as get laid, but when the cops bust Stifler’s summer, kick-off party it’s looking like a boring summer. Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), though, is extra bummed because he ran into Vicky (Tara Reid) and again turns to his older brother for advice. The brother’s suggestion – rent a beach house for the summer, work during the day and party every night, and by the end of the summer you’ll have a life revelation. So our boys rent a house and work as painters.

Well, kinda like the first movie all of our characters have their problems. Jim (Jason Biggs) is worried because Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) is coming to visit and she’s hoping Jim has learned a little control. Jim, though, knows he still doesn’t have what it takes. Then you’ve got Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), still in love with Stifler’s mom, learning tantric sex to improve his lovemaking. Oz (Chris Klein) is in general okay but a little worried because Heather (Mena Suvari) is over in Europe. And you know what, screw it, I’m not going to explain to you their problems, I’m sure you’ve got your own, but do you get the jokes like you did in the original? Yes, you get the jokes you expect, you even get some that are a little more gross, and you also get the predictable story you probably want, too.

I won’t ruin any of the jokes, although if you did see the trailer for “American Pie 2” you know what Jim’s masturbation problem is this time. And true to form you get Jim’s Dad (Eugene Levy), perfect as the goofy dad who is a great dad and, well, now seems to just want Jim to sleep with Nadia.

Did our boys grow up any? Yes, but not nearly as much as the girls. Tara looks even better, and Alyson Haningan as Michelle is even more adorable in her slightly annoying way. There are some hilarious scenes, some gross scenes, and some boring scenes, but as sequels go “American Pie 2” does its best to keep you interested in the characters (although some you wonder why some are listed so high on the credits, like Mena who is barely on screen) while still has you looking forward to seeing two women get it on.

The DVD version is full of extras that are actually worth having a DVD player (see “Cool Things About the DVD” below), and it still holds up as a comedy about growing up.

I got what I expected and the DVD stuff was worthwhile, so I’m giving “American Pie 2” 4 stars out of 5. Shannon didn’t get naked this time, although, honestly, she’s lost a couple of notches in my book while Tara moved up a few (she didn’t get naked either), but that doesn’t compare to the extended scene of the two dudettes our heroes think are lesbians.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!