entertainment ave!

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:26 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

I was a little worried when my wife and I started watching “War Horse” because, after about the first five minutes, as they were setting up the relationship between Joey (the horse) and Albert (Jeremy Irvine), my wife turns to me and says sarcastically, “Oh, this is riveting.” I could tell she was bored, and there was over two hours of the movie left to go.  Thankfully things got much better.

“War Horse” takes us back to the early 1900’s, as World War I was about to break, horses were used to plow the fields, and you read books made out of paper by candlelight.  Young Albert sees a horse being born, and although not the greatest build of a work horse, there is a bond formed between Joey and Albert, much like most people would form to their pet dog, but the war is now here, and in those days horses were used for everything, from transporting troops and the wounded, to pulling the giant cannons, and the best horses were rounded up for use in the war. Joey was now gone, on his way to war, and Albert was sad.

So, we get the story of Joey, a horse that doesn’t look like the strongest but has the heart of a thousand horses and touches lots of life’s in many way.  We see Joey in battle, developing bond with a giant of a horse that most everyone thinks is stronger, helping a young girl discover life, yet all the while never forgetting Albert.

Okay, fine, “War Horse” is much more that that, as intertwined with the story of Joey is the family bond Albert has back home on the farm, a look at a young little girl and her grandfather, a glimpse of the brutality of trench warfare, and how an animal can make friends out of enemies, if only for a few minutes.  Yup, the “This is riveting” had turned into a wonderful story.

Wonderfully shot and what turns out to be a fantastic story, “War Horse” is the kind of movie that is probably better seen on the big screen to envelop you, but will do fine on your big screen, and will allow you to get weepy in the privacy of your own home (Yup, the ending is a tear-jerker in many ways).  So, get through the first five minutes of unrivetting-ness, and enjoy this 4 ½ our of 5 star movie in all of its horse splendor.

Now, Blu-ray wise, if you get the 4-disc combo pack, you get extras to keep you busy for hours, and if you have any interest in how an Academy Award winning Director constructs a movie, this is the combo pack for you. Among other features, you get “War Horse: The Journey Home” which gives you a round-table format of discussions about the film, the characters, and how things went from seeing a play and thinking it would make a great film to ending up on the big screen. Then there is “A Filmmaking Journey” which gives you a detailed look at Steven Spielberg’s creative process, while “Editing and Scoring” dictates how the film is put together. There isn’t the standard “Deleted Scenes” nor “Gag Reel,” which is probably better since generally those just add easy extras to a release, but if you ever just wanted to be that guy in the background of a shot, you get “An Extra’s Point of View,” a nice look at being, well, an extra on a film. Lastly, take the film with you because you also get the copy for your portable device. This combo pack is why you buy a combo pack.

A great story, a great film, and a worthwhile batch of extras when you buy the whole set, I am a little sad I didn’t see the movie on the gloriousness of the big screen, but snuggling on the couch and the both of you getting a little weepy with a great movie does have a niceness about it.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!!! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – Unrated
It’s 1:22 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

I have to say that my favorite babysitter movie of all time is “Adventures in Babysitting.” It was fun, it was a romp of kids through the mean streets of the city, it was slightly over the top at times, and it was fairly safe for kids even though it was rated PG-13.  After seeing “The Sitter” I have to say it didn’t eclipse “Adventures…” as my favorite babysitter movie, but it was mostly fun, it was a romp of kids through the main streets of the city, it was way, way, way over the top at times, but for the love of God, put the kids and teens to bed before you even think of watching this in front of them.  Then go ahead and have a laugh or two.

For “The Sitter” we get Jonah Hill as Noah, a slug living at home, looking for love, and good at oral sex.  We pretty much find all of this out in the first 5ish minutes of the film.  It seems like all he really wants in life is to have his divorced mom find a good man, get laid, and maybe be an astronomer.  As his life would have it, to facilitate his mom going on a date, Noah takes the gig of watching the neighbor’s kids comprised of the little girl, Blithe (Landry Bender), who likes to dress in beauty pageant clothes and just wants to go out clubbing, Slater (Max Records), who is having issues of keeping friends, and Rodrigo (Kevin Henrnadez), the adopted son of said family and a little terror. Of course the kids hate Noah, and of course Noah gets a call from his girlfriend want-a-be telling Noah he’ll get laid if he brings her some cocaine, so Noah is off in the family minivan, with kids in tow, in search of Karl (Sam Rockwell), the drug kingpin, and then to meet up with Marisa (Ari Graynor). And hilarity is supposed to ensue.

I say “supposed to” because although funny is some aspects, most of it just seems rehashed or telegraphed from a mile away.  And yes, here is the proverbial spoiler alert…  Do the kids try and run away? Rodrigo does. Is there some kid mayhem? Yup. Does Noah have to come up with money to pay back Karl so he doesn’t kill someone? You betcha. Will Noah and the kids end up in a bar none of them really belong in? What do you think?

Some of it is kind of funny, in a truly adult kind of way, but a lot of it just plods along until the eventual end of Noah with the right girl, and the kids loving their new babysitter.

Jonah Hill is well, Jonah Hill, I’m not really sure what is going on with the Marisa character, and go figure, kids just want to be understood.  Kinda funny, definitely not for anyone close to a kid’s age, and for me it’s 2 stars out of 5. Oh hell, make it 2 ½ for a “totally unnecessary to the plot” boob shot.

As far as the Blu-ray it’s got some standard fare that pretty much ends up just being filler, although I did watch the “Totally Irresponsible” unrated version and honestly can’t tell you what the difference was.  The rest of the extras are “Ehh.” The deleted scenes are pretty much better deleted, and the extended scenes would have made the movie drag a ton more. Some of the outtakes are kind of funny, but the “Gag Reel” really didn’t do much.  If you want there is a “Making of…” featurette which is fine and all, but really, you’re just getting the Blu-ray for raunchy fun.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:40 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

It’s a movie that has three, comedic powerhouses in the likes of Steve Martin, Jack Black, and Owen Wilson. It’s a movie that is ripe for making fun of a culture many might find odd – namely birding. It’s a movie that’s rated PG? Uh oh. It’s “The Big Year.”  Okay, maybe not that big of an “Uh oh,” but an “Uh oh,” none-the-less.

So, it turns out a “Big Year” in the birding world has to do with an informal competition among birders (people who like to spot birds), in trying to spot the most species of bird in a period of time.  For our movie, the lead Big Year-er is Kenny Bostick (Owen Wilson).  For our movie we have two other main characters, Brad (Jack Black) and Stu (Steve Martin). Brad is in a dead-end, no fun job, Stu is the elder statesman of a company and looking to retire, and Kenny is a lost soul whose relationships always fall apart because he likes birds.

And so it’s a new year, and for a movie length we get to see our three birders travel the countryside in search of birds, and the competition is fierce.  Yup, things start out kind of calm, with the birders calling a magical phone number telling them where the next, magical sighting seems to be, and they all flock to the various locals. They are cordial, nice even, until it starts to come out that they are trying to get the Big Year record, currently held by Kenny.  Kenny, of course, doesn’t like this, and some trickery starts to happen.  And all along hilarity is supposed to ensue, or at least lessons about life.

Here’s the thing – I felt like “The Big Year” wanted so much to be like a mockumentary about birders, kind of like the movie “Best in Show,” but sadly it tried to keep things a little too nice, namely the PG rating, to push the funny to the next level, which is too bad because Wilson, Black, and Martin do their best to be their funny best – it’s just the movie can’t get there.

It’s not that I didn’t like “The Big Year,” because I sort of did, but I just wanted more.  It was a nice enough movie to hang out on a couch and relax for an evening, and it’s kid safe if you want them around, but don’t expect a lot of hilarity, just some chuckles along the way to find out who actually has the “big year.” 2 ½ stars out of 5.

As far as the Blu-ray, as a lot of birding is scenic-oriented, it looks beautiful, and is beautifully shot, so it will look great on your big-screen.  The deleted scenes are probably better off deleted, the gag reel isn’t that funny (I’m finding that most movie-people can’t put together a decent gag reel), but if you do want a nice explanation of how the movie was made, it does have a great featurette called “The Bird Migration” to help along.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:49 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

It’s a futuristic world where you stop aging at age 25.  Now that sounds all great and swell except for a few things.  First off, what if your “I’m hot!” age is actually 35 and you find yourself stuck at the “I’m ugly” age of 25? Also, what if you’re into older men or women?  I mean, that girl you are hitting on may have actually been alive for 110 years, but she doesn’t look a day over, well, 25, so you’re S.O.L. And lastly, once you hit 25, you only have one more year to live unless, well, you can get someone to give you more of their time, you can figure out how to purchase more time, you steal someone else’s time, or, well, who cares because in any event you are constantly reminded of how much time you have left because there is this countdown clock embedded in your arm.

As we begin our movie-cal journey we enter at a time when Will (Justin Timberlake) has tripped into that stage of life after age 25 when you have to figure out how you can keep getting more time, and thus keep living (this concept isn’t as complicated as it sounds once you see the movie).  He’s got his mother whom he keeps giving time to so she can stick around, but unfortunately for Will he lives on the wrong side of the tracks, or time zone as it would be, where things are a little more rough and where inflation takes your time away quicker than you can get more (yes, you have to pay for things with hours of your life, i.e., a bus ride might cost you two hours of your life).  As Will’s life would have it there’s a tragedy with his mother that truly teaches him the value of time, and also a meeting with a stranger who is sick of having so much time.  When said stranger gives Will the time he has left (and it’s a lot of time), as well as explains to Will the corrupt world that leaves Will’s side of the tracks with less and less time, Will ends up accused of killing said stranger but takes it upon himself to expose the system of time is money, and share the wealth.

Okay, I know, the movie sounds a little preachy, and yes, when Will finds himself on the “right” side of the tracks he finds a rich man’s daughter (Amanda Seyfried) to fall in love with, but in the end, if you can get past some of the goofiness of the story and obvious foreshadowing of its progression, it’s not that bad in the entertainment side of two people on the run, robbing “time” banks, and spreading the wealth to the poor.

The movie looks great in that futuristic, “The Matrix,” “Gattaca,” kind of way, which makes sense with Andrew Niccol who also directed “Gattaca” as director, and sure, the chase scenes are a little contrived and simplistic, but for a nice, little “two people on the run but not totally guilty but still trying to do good for people” movie, with a villain who isn’t that villainous, it’s okay for a rental and maybe a snuggle on the couch.  Justin Timberlake is his likeable self but doesn’t break any real acting ground in this movie, which is sort of too bad because there are times that I find him a phenomenal actor (“The Social Network” and “Alpha Dog”), but other times it’s like he’s just in a movie that might sound cool (this one).  So, in the end, it’s 3 stars out of 5 for “In Time.” Don’t go expecting the world get past some of the goofiness, and just enjoy the ride.

The Blu-ray doesn’t have too many extras, really.  There are the obligatory deleted/extended scenes that really don’t add much, but I do have to say that if you do like the movie, even a tad, go ahead and watch “The Minutes” featurette.  Rather than a standard “making of” documentary, this feature is told from the perspective of the characters, giving a little more insight into the characters from their own point of view, and kind of helps explain some of the quirks in the movie that might have you scratching your head a little bit.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:33 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

I guess I’m just never going to be a fan of Woody Allen movies, at least that is all I can come up with after watching “Annie Hall.” It’s now out on Blu-ray, it’s a movie that Woody Allen won four Oscars for making, but when the credits rolled I just thought “Ehh.”

The basic story is that Alvy (Woody Allen) is a comedian in New York City, and supposedly a very good one at that, but when it comes to the ladies, well, he comes across more like, well, Woody Allen.  As we are introduced to Alvy we learn a little about his back-story, his family life (dysfunctional as most are), and eventually how he ends up meeting Annie (Diane Keaton).  She’s kind of goofy, wants to be a singer, and their relationship seems more like a train-wreck than a love story, especially with Alvy’s being mostly just a dorky comedian, and not seeming to understand how a relationship really works.

Low and behold, Annie get her chance to become a star thanks to Tony (Paul Simon), a record dude in L.A., and Annie, has to decide whether to pursue her dream in L.A., or stay with the neurotic Alvy.  She heads to the west coast, Alvy is distraught, he heads to L.A. to try and get her back, and hilarity is supposedly still supposed to be ensuing.

Now, I can understand the creativity in movies, even movies made at a time when I was like ten years old, but as I was watching “Annie Hall,” and yes, I know it’s from 1977, but it really seemed dated and doesn’t seem to hold up well, as some movies seem to be able to do.  Yes, the acting is good, and Diane Keaton is adorable, and if you grew up in that era you will probably love to revisit the movie if you enjoyed it in your youth, but for me I found the dialogue very dry and not that witty (although, I can see, how in 1977, it was risqué and edgy, and oddly enough rated PG (and yes, I know they didn’t have PG-13 back then, but other than the lack of nudity, a lot of the topics of conversation veered into Rish territory)).

If you are a Woody Allen fan this is probably a 5 star masterpiece, but for me it was 1 ½ stars of hour-and-a-half “Ehh.” I’ll average them together and give “Annie Hall” 3 stars out of 5.

As far as the Blu-ray, you’re getting it because you have a Blu-ray player, and pretty much nothing else as it doesn’t have squat as extras.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:18 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

Okay, I admit it, as I guy I had absolutely no desire to see “The Help” when it was in the theater, and even probably made fun of it during a podcast or two.  At the time I figured I was lucky to get out of seeing it as my schedule just didn’t fit going to see it with my wife, but then I saw the notice that it was coming out on Blu-ray, and knowing my wife would probably like to see it, I sucked up my man-card and got a copy to review.  Wouldn’t you know it, I really liked the movie, and as “womanly” as the movie might seem, it tells a fabulous story of a time when things were truly changing.

Enough reflecting.  “The Help” is a movie about the maids in Jackson, Mississippi, at a time in the 1960’s when racial issues were very much at the forefront of life, and the transition from treating these strong women like property to treating them like people finally started to occur.  The movie is based on the novel by Kathryn Socket, about a writer, Eugenia “Skeeter” Phelan (Emma Stone), who was perturbed by how the white women of the south were treating the help, especially Hilly (Bryce Dallas Howard), who was fully of the sort that blacks should be separated from whites, so much so that she wanted a law that households have a separate bathroom for the blacks, or something crazy like that.  Skeeter decides that the stories of the maids needed to be told, only it was illegal to publically write the story, so she devises a plan to write a novel based on anonymous accounts of the maids she would interview.  In the meantime, throughout the movie, we are immersed into the lives of the various women, from the racist white women who seem to have blinders on as to the child raising ability of their maids, to the maids themselves, as they have to deal with the uppity employers, abusive husbands, and false arrests based on only a complaint by a white woman to the police.

But at the core of the movie is really how strong all of the maids tended to be, and how, even though they shouldn’t be treated differently, understood it happens, and work through it.  Nowhere does this story come more to light than with the life of Minny Jackson (Octavia Spencer), who originally worked for Hilly, but when fired devised a plan to get back at Hilly, in a way that turns out to help maintain keep Hilly at bay when the book is released, and after being fired by Hilly, finds herself working for the societal outcast, Celia (Jessica Chastain), where they both end up understanding each other even though from different sides of the social spectrum.

There are parts of the movie that just seem downright a bummer, as it recalls how blacks were treated at the time, and how far we still, as a society have yet to go, but the bestness of the movie is how it shows that sometimes it isn’t a smart thing to mess with a smart woman, even if that woman is supposed to be “less” than you.

The acting in the movie is great, even though the movie is over two hours it flows nicely, and even as a guy, I really liked “The Help.”  So go ahead and get the movie, cheer on woman who deserve their triumph when the book is released during the film, and grin when you discover how Minny gets back at Hilly.

It’s 4 ½ stars out of 5 for “The Help.”

And as far as the Blu-ray is concerned, they don’t go crazy with the extras, but they are a nice little addition to the movie.  For a change there is actually a “deleted scenes” feature that has scenes I thought would still fit nicely in the movie, the “In Their Own Words: A Tribute to the Maids of Mississippi” feature is a well-done, not overblown “interview” with real maids of Mississippi,  and the “Making of…” feature didn’t go crazy with making it stuff, just giving nice, little blurbs of how some of the locations came to be, and how the movie ended up in the hands of little known Director, Tate Taylor, who did a great job with the film.

Not too crazy on the extras, which is nice, and a great movie, makes “The Help” a high recommendation from me.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Below is a little excerpt from the full review of “The Help” by The Dude on the Right. He really liked the movie, and recommends it for the both of you…

…Okay, I admit it, as I guy I had absolutely no desire to see “The Help” when it was in the theater, and even probably made fun of it during a podcast or two. At the time I figured I was lucky to get out of seeing it as my schedule just didn’t fit going to see it with my wife, but then I saw the notice that it was coming out on Blu-ray, and knowing my wife would probably like to see it, I sucked up my man-card and got a copy to review. Wouldn’t you know it, I really liked the movie, and as “womanly” as the movie might seem, it tells a fabulous story of a time when things were truly changing. …

MPAA Rated – Unrated
It’s 2:33 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

I was negative-six years old when “West Side Story” originally hit the theater, and believe it or not, in those fifty years, I have never seen the movie nor a stage representation of the story.  I do find this somewhat surprising as I was a theaterish kind of guy in high school, and my mom loved a good musical, but alas, no “West Side Story” for me.  That’s not to say I wasn’t familiar with the music, although I sometimes got things confused with “The Sound of Music” (yes, I’ll admit, I thought “Maria” was from The Sound of Music), but come on, who doesn’t sometimes hum the tune “America”?  Feeling I was missing something in my life, and knowing the fact that my wife was a big fan of the movie, when the opportunity came to review “West Side Story,” being released in a 50th Anniversary Edition on Blu-ray, I felt it my duty.  And I must say, even with the dancing and prancing, I really liked it.

Let’s get to it…

“West Side Story” bases itself off of the classic Shakespeare concept of “Romeo & Juliet,” only this time lets’ make our competing factions be two rival street gangs in New York City, the Sharks and the Jets, and it’s set back in the late 50’s/early 60’s, so they aren’t like gangs we are really used to, well, almost.  The Jets are pretty much the European immigrants, and the Sharks are the Puerto Rican immigrants looking to invade the turf of the Jets.  Alas, Tony (Richard Beymer) is trying to grow up, get his life straight, and used to be the leader of the Jets.  Maria (Natalie Wood) is the sister of the leader of the Sharks.  As the Jets and Sharks plot their rumble, low and behold Tony and Maria fall in love, and yes, do their best to keep their love a secret.

But things are getting serious in rumble land, with the fighting escalating from talk of dancing and prancing (Okay, I kid, it’s a musical and the fighting is sort of ballet-ish), to knife wielding, and when things go horribly wrong with the knife fighting, well, it’s time for someone to get a gun.

People die, someone gets shot, it’s like “Romeo and Juliet” so it’s not really a happy ending, but even though set 50 years ago, it’s a great love story, and even though you know someone’s going to end up dead, you can’t help but hope that somehow are two lovebirds would be able to get away and live a full life in wedded bliss.

Yes, the movie is a musical, and it is from 50 years ago so it does look dated, and sure, the outfits might look kind of funny for us now (Someone I know really well couldn’t help but notice the bulge in one of the guy’s pants, and therefore, for the rest of the night, it kept being pointed out), but as a film it still looks great, from an era when great camera work had to take the place of green screens and CGI.  And yes, the acting is great, at least on some fronts (Yup, Natalie Wood and Richard Beymer are great), although sometimes it drifts into over-acting mode as was prevalent at the time.

And yes, lastly, there is the music, where as I watched the movie, I kept finding myself saying “Hey, I know that song.”  Even though 50 years old, it’s music that truly stands the test of time.

So, as  movie, it’s 5 stars out of 5 for “West Side Story.”  Yup, I liked it, even with the dancing and prancing.

Now, as far as the 50th Anniversary Edition on Blu-ray, let me say it’s pretty fantastic, especially for the “West Side Story” fan.  The movie itself looks great, as it should, but there is a 4-Disc set that includes a CD and collectable memorabilia, and for the basic 3-Disc set you get some pretty sweet extras as well. Do you want to get the inside scoop about how shots were made – you get that and more during a very detailed explanation of how the movie was made, the challenges the actors had, and the changes that were made in song ideas.  There is also another segment of memories of West Side Story, and if you are a movie buff, a look at the storyboard progression of the film.  You can also watch the movie in “Pow! The Dances of West Side Story” mode, and if you’re a dance buff it’s great because it will help explain how the dance sequences came to light.  And don’t forget the music, as Stephen Sondheim the lyricist give a commentary for all of the great songs.

All in all, in the world of Blu-ray special editions, they did “West Side Story” right, as it should be for a movie that is a classic.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:00 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

“Blue Velvet” attempts to answer the proverbial question: “What would you do if you found a human ear in a field?”  Okay, it doesn’t really try to answer that question, but it is the starting point for one of the most twisted, entertaining, and masterpieces of movie-making ever.

It’s been probably 20+ years since I’ve seen “Blue Velvet” and I have to say that I forgot how twisted of a character Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper) is.  It was only after seeing that initial scene of young Jeffrey being trapped in Dorothy’s room and Frank, inhaling Amyl nitrate, while terrorizing Dorothy, that it started to come rushing back to me.

The story basically goes like this:  It’s the smallish town of Lumberton, and Jeffrey (Kyle MacLachlan) comes across a human ear in a field.  Okay, sure, this is after his dad ends up in the hospital, but who’s really keeping track? Anyway, what to do?  Well, he takes it to the police.  It is there he is put in the world of Detective Williams and his lovely daughter, Sandy (Laura Dern).  As Jeffrey begins his own investigation into the ear, thanks to some help from Sandy, he finds himself breaking into the apartment of Dorothy (Isabella Rossellini), a messed-up, nightclub singer, and it is there that the disturbingness of Frank is truly witnessed.  Now Jeffrey is getting wrapped into twisted feelings and trying to help Dorothy, he wants to get to the truth around Frank, and suddenly we find Jeffrey being pretty much kidnapped by Frank on a wild night on the town in Lumberton.  Frank is a maniacal drug/prostitute guy, and Jeffrey is doing his darndest to put all of the pieces together, including corrupt policemen and conflicting feelings for both Sandy and Dorothy, to put Frank away and get him away from Dorothy.  All of the mystery, intrigue, and twistedness of Frank continues until the fantastic end.

Yup, I forgot how twisted the movie is, as well as how much I liked it, and if you want the best of the best of Dennis Hopper being a crazy man, forget that “Speed” movie grabage, in “Blue Velvet” he takes twisted to an entirely different level.

So, all of the forgetting aside, I can’t help but give “Blue Velvet” 4 ½ stars out of 5.  It holds up 25 years later.

As far as the movie on Blu-ray, let me simply say this – The movie looks fantastic.  The press release says David Lynch supervised the transfer and color correction, and it shows as this is one movie where the color contrasts just pop.  And as far as the other things on Blu-ray, for all of you uber “Blue Velvet” fans, it’s got nearly an hour of lost footage, some goofy outtakes, and the part I found most fascinating, the “Mysteries of Love Documentary” giving tons of insight into how this movie came to be, including why there was an ear in the field.

A great, twisted movie, it looks great on Blu-ray, and for a change it’s a release that has great, extra content without going overboard.  Ah, screw it – 5 stars out of 5!

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:16 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

I’ve generally liked most of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies, what with Jack Sparrow bouncing around and acting goofy, so I was partly anticipating watching the “On Stranger Tides” version, but I was a little worried that the story might have been getting old.  Sadly, for me, it has.

Let’s start with the story…

Back is Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, hoping to avoid jail time by escaping as only Jack Sparrow can.  Alas, things are mysterious on the high seas again, with this time the quest being the proverbial Fountain of Youth.  Yup, there’s a map, evil pirates, and let’s throw in Penelope Cruz as Angelica in the mix for good measure, and you pretty much get 2+ hours of the search for said Fountain.

Sure, there are dastardly deeds going on, and with any good pirate quest there are twists and turns, but other than Jack Sparrow searching for the Fountain of Youth, you don’t need to know too much more about this movie, especially since, after about 5 minutes, it turns into an action-fest where the story takes a back seat to the bombastic action on the screen, make that the storage area behind the back seat, to the action. Yup, there are people chasing, people being chased, fights between pirate ship crews, fights between, well, you know what, it doesn’t matter, because for me it got boring, tired, and old really fast.

Yup, Jack Sparrow clumsily waddles around, somehow he gets out of jam after jam, and maybe Angelica and Jack have a thing for each other, but this movie was really missing something, and I think that relates to the original movie with Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom being a great side story to that of Jack Sparrow’s antics.

Look, the movie will look great on your big screen, and will sound great through your audio system, but this one is all about the action and not about any story.  And if you think you might want keep the kids awake for the ride, this is a hard PG-13 in my opinion, with some of the scariest mermaids I’ve ever seen (forget Little Mermaid love for this one), and the kiddies might end up with some nightmares and hate Ariel for life.

In the end it’s 1 ½ stars for “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.” Oddly enough I really wanted more of a story.

Get the Blu-ray for the action, and also, don’t worry too much about the extras.  There is a blooper reel that is pretty lame in blooper reel standards, and the Blu-ray does have the Disney Second Screen feature which is kind of neat if you are really interested in how the movie is made, and, oh yea, I suppose maybe better for the kiddies than the actual movie is the LEGO Animated Shorts, but unless you go balls out for the 5-Disc Combo pack complete with 3D, you’re getting the Blu-ray to be blasted onto your back wall with action.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!