entertainment ave!

MPAA Rated – Unrated
It’s 1:42 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

Back in 2011 Stevie Nicks released an album called “In Your Dreams.” I guess I should have been paying a little more attention to Ms. Nicks because, with the online release of the documentary “Stevie Nicks: In Your Dreams” available exclusively on iTunes, I was introduced to a batch of music that was awesome to listen to, and now that I know a lot more about the history of all of the songs, a lot more meaningful.

In any case, it seems that when Stevie Nicks was making “In Your Dreams” in collaboration with Dave Stewart, yes, that Dave Stewart also known by most people as “That guy in the Eurythmics,” they decided to film a documentary about the creation of the record, as Dave Stewart is also an established documentarian. It was Stevie’s first studio album in about ten years, and it’s obvious from the onset that Dave and Stevie have great chemistry in putting music together, but the addition of the movie footage adds to an insight into the creative process of both of them, and the fun that can be had in putting an album together.

The film pretty much goes through the tracks on the album with a little storytelling of how the songs came to be, mostly through Stevie’s poetry writing and the growth of those poems into music, and the inspiration of many of the songs as they came to her. Along the way there is reflective insight into her past with Fleetwood Mac, some looks at Dave Stewart looking back a bit on his history in Eurythmics, and we also get a glimpse into the personalities in Stevie’s life as various other folks fill the world of song creating, namely the likes of Mick Fleetwood and Lindsey Buckingham, producer Glen Ballard, and Reese Witherspoon who offers Stevie and Dave a place to stay.

“Stevie Nicks: In Your Dreams” doesn’t seem to try to do anything out of the ordinary other than tell the simple tale of how Stevie makes a record, and for that it achieves exactly what it is shooting for. If you are a Stevie Nicks fan I would say that this is a definite must watch, and for anyone curious how songs transition from a blurb on a piece of paper to finished product, the film is a case study in music creation and the various driving forces in crafting a finished song. There is a touching look at Stevie’s visit to injured Veterans, her look at the destruction in New Orleans, and just a lot of Stevie Nicks returning to classic Stevie Nicks mode that her fans know and love.

For doing exactly what this documentary is trying to accomplish, and doing it in a way that is entertaining and will keep a casual fan interested throughout, I’m giving “Stevie Nicks: In Your Dreams” 4 stars out of 5. A must for the uber Stevie fan, and a nice watch for anyone who loves songwriting.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:28 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

I really wanted to like “Pawn” a lot more than I did, I mean it had Forest Whitaker, Ray Liotta, Michael Chiklis, and even Common did a good job in his role, but sometimes a movie goes for too many twists and turns, and I think this is where “Pawn” kind of loses it a bit.

First, let’s get to the story…

We get a dude being interrogated in a hospital bed, and we get a scene with Will (Whitaker) entering a diner. Will is also a police office. It’s obvious something is amiss in the diner as Will seems like a regular, and Charlie (Stephen Lang) behind the bar sends off signals that there is a robbery in progress. As the movie would have it things are really amiss in this diner, people are not who they seem, and we are supposed to be led on an hour and a half suspense ride of “who really are the bad guys,” but instead we have Nick (Sean Faris), fresh out of jail, and being set up as the real bad guy, the pawn as it would be, and we are supposed to wonder if Common will be able to figure out that Nick isn’t bad, just in the wrong place at the wrong time, or is he really the bad guy?

I’m not going to go too much more into this movie so as not to spoil it should you rent or buy it, but I will say that I find it odd that the mob ends up looking like a complete bunch of boobs in this movie, and although sometimes they get portrayed that way, I’m thinking Ray Liotta’s character, simply credited as “Man in a Suit,” would never be a part of the mistake going on there.

The acting is good, I was surprised to find as many big names in the movie as there are, but I think the movie would have been better served with one less twist or turn, and just let the movie play out where the cops thought Nick was the bad guy, and go from there.

A decent enough thriller, some quality kills, but a story that tries too hard leaves “Pawn” as a 3 star out of 5 from me. A lot of potential lost in a lot of muck.

In terms of the extras on the Blu-ray, well, you aren’t getting this one for the extras because there is just a basic, behind-the-scenes kind of featurette where pretty much we get young actors saying how awesome it was, yet slightly intimidating, to work alongside some legends.  Good enough.

That’s it for this one! I’m the Dude on the Right! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:30 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

First, an admission. When I heard there was going to be a movie called “Lincoln,” I have to admit that I thought it was going to be a biopic, kind of giving us a look into the entire life of Abraham Lincoln. I also admit that I didn’t pay too much attention to the movie, or press, when it was in the theaters, other than hearing it was a really good film, and that Daniel Day-Lewis was incredible in it. Then I watched the Blu-ray, and I finally understand what all of the hubbub was about.

Let’s get to the film.

Now, my first assumption about the movie was wrong – “Lincoln” is not a biopic, but rather a snapshot of a period of Abraham Lincoln’s life, concentrating on the end of his life, and his determination to get the 13th Amendment passed before the end of the Civil War would occur. This was important due to the reasoning for the war and the Emancipation Proclamation, and Lincoln’s fear that should the war end, any slaves that were free might have to go back to being slaves. It’s also not so much about Lincoln, but rather about the politics at the time, with the President being the focal point. Sure, there is some insight into his life, his relationship with Mary Todd (Sally Field), and his two sons, Tad (Gulliver McGrath) and Robert (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), but if you are a fan of political theater, this movie portrays it in all of its grandeur and bickering.

Yes, there is infighting and distrust among Lincoln’s cabinet; Yes, there is a real look at how blacks were pictured in the world at the time; Yes, politics hasn’t changed much in all of these years. And yes, “Lincoln” is a great film, with some of the best performances by all actors, and the brilliant thing Steven Spielberg did with the movie was keep the movie buttoned to the end period in Lincoln’s life so that the movie could stay focused and not lead the viewer in a variety of directions throughout Lincoln’s life that might confuse the end result.

The other brilliant thing – The scene in the theater when Lincoln gets shot. I’ll leave it at that.

If you are looking for an action-packed Civil War movie, this isn’t it, but if you are looking for acting at its finest (Tommy Lee Jones was also incredible), a sad look that politics hasn’t changed in all of this time, and a movie that deserves its accolades, “Lincoln” is it. I will warn you, however, that it is a movie about two and half hours long and there is a lot of talking, so just sit back and enjoy the goodness. It’s 4 ½ stars out of 5.

For a rental or purchase, if you are a fan of the movie, as I was, there is a good chance you will actually get sucked into the extras as part of the Blu-ray, especially on the combo pack. The extra features are nicely done, concise, and cover most everything you would want from how Steven Spielberg came about to making the movie, a well-done but not too technical look at how they kept things authentic, and as a fan of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, it was also a nice, little insight into the mastery of John Williams.

Of many of the Blu-ray packages I have seen, “Lincoln” is one of the best mostly because it doesn’t bog things down with deleted scenes that were best deleted, bad “outtakes” we don’t care about, or filler. A great film, well done extras, and oh hell, I’ll add the half a star and give the Blu-ray combo pack 5 stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:39 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

“John Dies at the End.” Now, please stop it with the “You should have said, ‘Spoiler alert,’” because that’s the title of the movie, and not my synopsis. The movie could also easily be called “John and Dave Save the World,” which I guess is also a spoiler, but before any more direct spoiling or synopsising, let’s get to the story.

Okay, this is going to be goofy. We are introduced to Dave (Chase Williamson), discussing an axe and the death, or seeming death, of a strange being. An interesting take if one version of the axe that chopped of the head of said being is the same axe after it has been rebuilt over time. Re-enter Dave, now talking with Arnie (Paul Giamatti) in a Chinese restaurant, trying to tell Arnie his story so that Arnie may tell the world, and the story of the “soy sauce.”  It seems the world is being attacked by beings from an alternate universe, and somehow John and Dave take it upon themselves to save us all. In the meantime, there is this “soy sauce” that gives people strange powers and offers lots of hallucinations, and also gives a glimpse of the strangeness of the invasion. In the meantime, during Dave’s storytelling, we find his story of his buddy John, his meeting up with a monster made out of meat parts, his finding a dog that helps, well, helps them a lot, and also how there are these bugs that try to infest humans on the way to domination. We also find a hot dog that works like a cell phone, a girl with no hand who can open a “ghost” door, a magician who can help kill the invaders, and an alternate universe where girls walk around without tops so as not to scare John and Dave.

Does that sound a little confusing? Well, I will admit that “John Dies at the End” is a tad confusing, what with not really knowing if parts of the story are bits and pieces of hallucinations or actually happening in the real world, but through it all it is totally entertaining, in a B-Horror, B-Comedy, B-I would totally watch on late night cable, B-movie kind of way.

There is goofiness, there is lots of over-the-goofiness gore, there are some creative goofy monsters, and although at times confusing, it is confusing fun. The acting isn’t anything to write home about, well, except for the always-awesome Paul Giamatti, but I don’t think this is a movie made for Oscar-style performances. Instead it does exactly what you want it to do, if you are a fan of the B-movie kind of film – entertain.

All movies aren’t supposed to be spectacles, some just entertain, and “John Dies at the End” entertained me. It may not be your cup of tea, I admit, but it was mine and I give it 4 stars out of 5.

Extra-wise the Blu-ray doesn’t have that much except some nice interviews and some normal “Making of” stuff, at least on the entertaining side. I didn’t care for the deleted scenes, but so be it.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:35 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

I know Pixar movies are generally good for the entire family, and sure, many a times they are more boy friendly than girl, but girls, you have now received your Pixar treatment, and it is great. Here’s the thing, though. Whereas many of the “boy friendly” movies end up with “objects” relating the stories of life, for example, “Cars,” “Toy Story,” and “Monsters Inc.,” for the girls we get “Brave,” a wonderful tale that the boys might enjoy but a mother and daughter should love together, and instead of something girly, say a flower patch or cute horses in the lead roles of the characters, for this one we go back to human characters, (Okay, there is a divergence into the lore of a bear, and a Momma Bear as it would be, but let’s move on,) yet maintaining that Pixar cartoony goodness.

Let’s get to the story.

We are in the Highland of Scotland, back at a time when bows and arrows, swords, and clubs were the weapons of choice and castles were the line of defense. Enter Merida, the daughter of King Fergus and Queen Elinor, and her three little, mischievous brothers. Merida is a free spirit, wanting to determine her own fate, but her Mom has her own beliefs on how Merida should live her life. So, while Merida is teaching herself to shoot arrows and ride horses, Elinor is trying her best to instill being the Princess Merida is supposed to be, and eventually take a husband from the other clans as is the custom and tradition. As the suitors line up and Merida begins to enter full rebellion mode, Mom is none too pleased, Merida and Elinor have a big fight, Merida thinks she has found a path to get her way thanks to a witch, and, of course, Merida learns a huge lesson that she should never trust a witch, especially when Merida herself is in the throws of anger.

As it goes, thanks to Merida’s desire to find her own destiny, we get to learn the full story of Mor’du the Bear who is responsible for Fergus having a peg leg, both Merida and Elinor get to learn about the bonds of mother and daughter, and as this is a Pixar/Disney movie, everyone lives happily ever after.

As a story goes, “Brave” is a nice little tale about the challenges a mother and daughter face, and how sometimes it takes both sides to bend a bit to see the love of the other. It’s also a Pixar film, and that means fun, which it has tons of. The animation is awesome, especially the detail that they are now able to do in terms of scenery, shading, color, and just making the movie look fantasticker than when we were blown away by “Toy Story,” so combine the great story and the great animation and we easily remember why, whenever there is a Pixar movie coming out, we are excited. Like I said before, however, this is a story really geared for the girls. I’m not saying the boys won’t like it as it does have lots of action and a fun brawl between the clans, but whereas the boys and dads could relate to the togetherness of “Cars,” there’s much more of a motherly love bond between Elinor and Merida and the mischievous boys are just that – mischievous. It’s a solid 4 stars out of 5 for “Brave.”

Now, as far as the Blu-ray offering the Ultimate Collector’s Edition gives you tons of extras to keep you learning new things for hours. Me, being the tech dork that I am, I wanted more of extras like “Wonder Moss” and “Brawl in the Hall,” two of the more technical extras, but if you want to know how the Pixar team researched all things Scotland, there are lots of featurettes like “Brave Old World” and “Merida & Elinor.” You also get looks into the various animals involved in the movie, explanations of some of the more mystical aspects to the film, a look at scenes that were shortened, changed, or eliminated, and your commentary-type stuff. And as this is a Pixar movie, there is a cute little short called “La Luna” about how the moon changes shape, and a longer look at “The Legend of Mor’du,” the bear that eventually brings the movie full-circle.

Tons of extras, a 3-D Blu-ray if you’ve got the TV for it, a Digital Copy so the kids can take it on-the-go, and the “Ultimate Collector’s Edition” shows how a nicely packaged Blu-ray can be well worth the extras instead of just throwing useless things in the set just for the sake of being there.

All in all a lot of fun with a lot of the extras you would expect and the “Brave” set is another feather in the cap of the Pixar legacy.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:28 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

You know how sometimes you can get too much of a good thing? Well, I enjoy toilet style humor as much as the next person, think farts are funny, and can find burps humorous, but lately it seems every movie has added those elements and sadly I’m not finding flatulence as funny any more. The latest movie to think it needs toilet humor is “Dr. Dolittle 2.”

“Dr. Dolittle 2″ brings Eddie Murphy back as the good doctor. Now that his secret of talking to the animals is out, well, his practice is thriving, although the family unit could be doing better. But there’s a problem – namely the mean, nasty logging company is crouching in on the mob boss’ territory, and by mob boss I’m talking about a beaver who controls the animals in the woods. In a sit-down with our doctor, well, Mr. Beaver convinces Dr. Dolittle that he has to save their land, and with the help of his wife, Lisa (Kristen Wilson), well, it seems the only hope is to get the endangered female bear, Eva (voiced by Lisa Kudrow) to make baby bears. Unfortunately the only male bear left, Archie (voiced by Steve Zahn) has been trained as a circus bear and Eva wants nothing to do with the wimp. So it’s up to Doctor D to turn Archie back into a manly bear while the nasty logging company has a plan of their own to get Archie back into captivity. And, oh yea, Doctor D has to deal with his growing daughter, Charisse (Raven-Symone) who brings along her boyfriend, Eric (Lil’ Zane), for their vacation/Archie training trip to the woods.

Well I’m not going to give away the ending although I’m sure you can figure it out, but I’ll just add a few things. First, like the first Dr. Dolittle, well, the jokes are what you might expect from talking animals. You get Norm Macdonald back voicing the family dog, you get bathroom humor from Archie, you get a chameleon who can’t change colors, you get the drunken monkey, and you get the animals as, hmm, I guess they’d be called “made” animals in their little mafia world. You also get a scary vision of the world if animals could talk to each other when they all go on strike. But, in the end, you get a cute movie that gets a little preachy about the whole logging thing, but you’ll chuckle here and there and the kids will probably find Archie lovable.

You know what you are asking for by going to see “Dr. Dolittle 2″ and you get just that, but I just wish movies could get a little more inventive instead of just relying on farts and doody to make me laugh. It’s gonna be 3 stars out of 5 for “Dr. Dolittle 2.”

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:08 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

I don’t know why but “Dogma” is quickly becoming one of my favorite videos to watch or movies to watch for on cable. Maybe it’s the way they question religious beliefs, maybe it’s the subtle jokes, or maybe it’s because they bust on the platypus. In any case, as long as you can keep an open mind about religion, well, “Dogma” might just be a movie for you.

Opening with a disclaimer that the movie is fictitious and should be taken as a comedy, Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) and Jay (Jason Mewes), joined by the 13th apostle, Rufus (Chris Rock) help Bethany (Linda Fiorentino) make her way to New Jersey to stop two banished angels, Loki and Bartleby (Matt Damen and Ben Affleck) from entering a church and negating all of existence. How can entering a church end existence? Well, it seems the Pope has decreed, in conjunction with the New Jersey church’s anniversary, that all who pass through the church doors get their sins forgiven. Loki and Bartleby, who have been banished by God from Heaven for eternity, could find their way back into heaven if they walk through the church doors. This would make God fallible and thus end existence as we know it. Alright, my explanation isn’t the greatest, but Bartleby does a better job explaining it to Loki, and they begin their journey to the Garden State.

So it’s a race against time to stop Bartleby and Loki, and Bethany and her entourage aren’t without their difficulties getting to Jersey. There’s a run-in with a shit demon, Jay constantly trying to get in Bethany’s pants, Bethany questioning why she is chosen to stop the angels, and Azrael and his goons trying to stop Bethany because he wants existence to end.

Like I said before, “Dogma” is at its best on many levels, from Loki’s conversation with a nun resulting in her wondering what she is doing with her life, to the Rufus’ dilemma of not being in the bible because, well, he is a black man, to Alanis Morrissette playing God, and portraying God as kinda, well, a ditz. This movie isn’t to be taken seriously, but it may make you wonder if Mary did have sex with Joseph after Jesus was born because, as Rufus explains, “Do you really think he would have stayed married to her for all those years if he wasn’t getting laid?”

I didn’t see “Dogma” in the theater so I can’t say which place might be a better venue to see it, but it is nice to be able to pause and rewind to go back and catch a joke or two you might have missed in the theater. That and the fact that the DVD subtitles helped me figure out one of my favorite lines, only because it still doesn’t make sense to me, “Snootch to the motherfuckin’ nootch!” I give Dogma 4½ stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:55 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

How’s this for a fancy reviewer line for “Deep Impact”: “Deep Impact” is one of the most predictable, emotional, roller-coaster rides I have seen on the big screen since “Titanic.” Alright, maybe it isn’t the greatest line, but “Deep Impact” was predictable, hell, it was about Earth being hit by an asteroid (and we know that happens from the trailers), and it was emotional (I did find myself anxious for the astronauts trying to blow the big space rock up, and welling up a little as people were saying goodbye). But I guess comparing it too “Titanic” is a little much – as predictable and somewhat emotional, it wasn’t that good, mostly maybe, for me, because of the stupidity of everyone one Earth who died (except the, well, people who had to).

Well, you know what the movie is about – a big asteroid is heading for Earth – what are we to do? In the case of this group of Earthlings, we don’t seem to do much. In any case, let’s start at the beginning. Tea Leoni stars as Jenny Lerner, an up-and-coming newsperson who is trying to make her way up the newsperson ladder. She stumbles on a seeming sex-scandal story in Washington D.C. (oh, like this is topical anymore?). In any case, she’s ready to blow the story open, but in a secret meeting with President Beck (Morgan Freeman), he convinces her to hold off for a couple of days. Get this – she does. Well, the story comes out that it isn’t a sex scandal, but an asteroid is heading for Earth.

Alright, I can buy it so far, and at this point there’s about a year left before the asteroid hits, and the government has a plan – send a spaceship with some astronauts to land on the asteroid and blow it up before it hits. Sounds good to me, and it’s ten months till our astronauts make it there, but our newsgirl Jenny asks something like “What if that doesn’t work.” “Don’t worry,” says the Prez, “It will.” Guess what, it doesn’t.

Alright, plan number two, lets shove a bunch of people in a cave for a couple of years. So, with that, we have the impending end of life as we know it, and our story has turned from an adventure film of blowing up an asteroid, to people planning their end. You get your typical “I’m not leaving you, I’d rather die with you than live without you” scenes, you’ve got some scenes of looting and stuff, and you’ve got people being airlifted to the big cave. Then we get some heroes, a big tidal wave, cities being wiped out, and people surviving. In the end, a nice film, but what was wrong?

I’ll pose what was wrong by asking a few questions. One, you’ve got about a year until a big asteroid is going to wipe out most of life on Earth for about two years – what do you do? We sort of used to ask this question back in college, but instead of a year, you had about 20 minutes because Russia was launching some nukes. Our solutions back then – drink heavily, head for the roof, and catch one mean old suntan, or head to the girls residence hall and say “Hey baby, the world is going to end in 20 minutes. How about you and I end it with a bang!” Some guys actually tried the latter, without the imminent threat of nuclear war, and usually ended up being slapped. But, what if you had a year? Would you trust your survival on the hopes the government could get something right on the first try? I doubt it. Me, I’d be digging a cave of my own, and stocking up on the essentials, things like beer, “Twinkies,” matches, and toilet paper.

Alright, I’ve got a head start on everyone else on my asteroid shelter, but problem number two – why was anyone still living on a coast, other than some ambitious surfer dudes and dudettes, when there were two months from the time of knowing the astronauts screwed up, and the time the asteroid would hit the earth. Hmm, Earth is a whole bunch more water than land, and if the asteroid hits that water it will create one gnarly wave most likely to reach into, like Ohio on the east coast, and maybe like Utah on the west – I’m staying in New York City and hoping the asteroid hits the Pacific. Come on, move your butt to someplace nice and cozy, someplace like the midwest. As sad as it sort of was, all those people being washed away to sea on the east coast, I say too bad – you should have moved.

“Alright, Dude, that can’t be everything bad with the movie, you said it wasn’t that good.” True, there were a bunch more flaws in human nature in “Deep Impact,” but I guess the end problem in the movie, short of a few good performances, and a couple of cool scenes, was that the movie lacked the consistency in both from beginning to end. Don’t get me wrong, the movie is pretty entertaining, but in these days of standards being pushed to another level, pretty entertaining becomes just another movie, even if millions of people died (I will say it again – they were stupid).

So, I did like “Deep Impact,” even with the stupid people, but in the end there were too many scenes of not great acting, too many scenes of total predictability, and too many scenes, well, maybe too many intertwined story lines – you had the astronauts, the newsgirl, the kid who found the comet and his chick, families in turmoil, and oh yea, a big ol’ asteroid. It was just too much.

I’ll give “Deep Impact” 3 out of 5 stars. It was good, not great, and it might even bring a tear to your eye.

That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:43 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

What did I learn from the movie “The Day the Earth Stood Still?” Was it that we should learn to love each other? No. Was it that we should respect the planet we’ve got? No. Was it that I really miss Keanu Reeves as Ted Theodore Logan? Well, okay, I do miss Keanu as Ted. But, simply put, I learned that if aliens show up, well, we’re screwed. Actually, it doesn’t even need to be a lot of aliens, just one alien named Klaatu with his giant metallic friend, Gort, and guess what, the human race is toast. We will be no match for the alien to heal himself after being haphazardly shot; Our Air Force, Marines, Navy, and Boy Scouts will be no match for the giant “Cylon” bad-ass (for those of you who aren’t into “Battlestar Galactica,” the Cylon reference is simply that Gort is metallic, with one red “eye”), who is able to zap and disable every weapon we’ve got; and all we can hope is that Klaatu is a sucker for a mom being a step-mom and a kid being a step-kid and the two of them finally realizing they need each other. And, oh yea, a Professor acting like John Cleese.

In other words, pretty much we’re screwed. And, oh yea, there’s nothing like blatant product placement to screw up a movie.

Now as far as the movie “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” I will go on record saying that I have not seen the 1951 original where it was the cold war bringing the aliens to destroy us, but for this 2008 remake, oh, to be topical, let’s make it about how we humans are destroying Earth with all of our anti-environmental ways (only one of a few planets capable of sustaining life in the universe, and therefore a valuable treasure in the alien world). It seems that in the 1920’s the aliens sent a spy to Earth to see how we were doing, but when Klaatu (Keanu Reeves) comes to visit in 2008, complete with his destructive friend, Gort, Klaatu meets his spy, Mr. Wu (James Hong), and Mr. Wu pretty much says we suck and deserve to die. Meanwhile, Klaatu has been befriended by Helen (Jennifer Connelly), who somehow is able to keep him safe from the government people hell-bent on destroying him, and Helen is having her own problems, trying to get her step-son, Jacob (Jaden Smith), to treat her like a mom.

You know, I could go into the entire “Giant orb crashes to Earth, we shoot the alien who seems to just want to save us at first, we try to torture the alien, nice girl helps alien get away, government hunts down alien, Gort monster shoots down a lot of things, Gort gets captured, Gort has a thing for diamond drill bits, Earth’s destruction has begun, alien realizes thanks to Helen, Jacob, and Professor Barnhardt (John Cleese), that maybe we can change, and yay, the Earth stands still for a bit, we are saved, but there is a huge mess of metallic bugs to now be cleaned up” synopsis, but really, why go into it a lot more because as much as there sort of seemed to be potential for this to be a decent movie with a feel-good message, I didn’t really like Keanu Reeves’ “I know your language but can only speak in brief sentences and will let three people decide the fate of the human race” performance, Jacob was good in his role as the step-kid who doesn’t respect his step-mom until a sentimental scene pulls them together, which would really fit in a different movie, and the only role I did like, complete with a great explanation of why the aliens should let us live, was delivered by John Cleese, explaining to Klaatu how we, as a society, change.

That, and oh yea, I should have kept track, but in terms of blatant product placement, “The Day the Earth Stood Still” was utterly disgraceful, from the “We use Windows to make cool documents fly around this touch-screen computer monitor/table,” to the visiting of McDonalds for the alien sit-down with their new McCafe servings, to even the wearing of a Citizen watch, well, this movie didn’t need any of it, and it really made me cringe every time I saw it.

There might be some who see the movie as a little bit of an escape, or maybe might like how the destruction of Earth is carried out, or the “Noah’s Ark” aspect of the aliens (they aren’t all bad), or dig the message of how we need to save the environment, but for me I was bored, sick of people telling me what kind of hybrid car to drive, and if Gort was such a bad-ass, how in the hell was the government able to capture him, let alone transport him to an underground bunker that isn’t really that secure? It’s 1 ½ stars out of 5 for “The Day the Earth Stood Still” from me. I might have to throw the original on my Netflix queue just to compare them, but I’m guessing it will be way-better, even in black and white, and I generally hate black and white movies.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:34 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

DVD REVIEW – Add Cool Things
Someone mentioned to me that they saw the DVD “The Darwin Awards” in the rental store and wondered if I saw it. I told them I hadn’t, but then saw it on my own and decided, “What the hell, let’s see if this movie sucks.” It didn’t suck, but I can also see why it never made it to the big screen, but maybe the film folks should have at least given it a chance. Here’s the story…

Most of you know the story of The Darwin Awards. These are awards given every year to people who die in ways that are pretty stupid when you think about it, or find themselves unable to reproduce. It’s also a reference to “survival of the fittest” signifying that maybe humanity will thrive just a little bit more by losing these morons early. Anyway, in the movie “The Darwin Awards” we get Joseph Fiennes as Michael Burrows. He’s a police investigator in San Francisco being taped for a documentary. He’s also hemophobic (he faints at the site of blood). And he’s also obsessed with those who die or get injured in a “Darwin Award” manner. He’s hot on the trail of a serial killer but sadly the sight of blood causes him to faint and the bad guy gets away. Disgraced and booted from the force, Michael thinks he might find his next calling, working for an insurance company in determining high risk cases for them, or claims to deny based on the fact that the facts aren’t always what they seem, and now he is paired with Siri (Winona Ryder), traveling the highways and byways of the country debunking some insurance claims that on the surface seem open and shut.

So Michael and Siri find a dude crushed by a vending machine, a dude claiming someone stole his car, a missing dude (and car) who just wanted to go fast and be on TV, and all the while Michael is still obsessed with finding the serial killer he let get away. And, oh yea, he falls for Siri (but who wouldn’t?).

I really wanted to like this movie, and as a DVD rental it’s good enough for a rental, but the problem is that since we know what The Darwin Awards are, every time Michael and Siri get to a new town to investigate an insurance loss, well, the ending of the loss is really no surprise. It’s pretty obvious why the dude reported his truck stolen, most people will be able to figure out the demise of the stoner dude at the Metallica concert before it happens, the vending machine death is a “Duh!”, but the one adventure involving Harvey (David Arquette), who couldn’t seem to go fast enough for his wife Joleen (Juliette Lewis), where you might actually be sitting there watching the movie wondering what this bonehead did to kill himself, is ruined because the filmmakers gave it away at the opening of the movie. So much for any mystery during this movie.

In the midst of the deaths is the budding relationship between Michael and Siri, and the interruptions and non-interruptions of the documentary filmmaker constantly stating he can’t get involved. The love story is cute enough, but it is the quirkiness of Michael trying to not be a Darwin story that makes things funny during this movie.

I love Wynona Ryder, and would stalk her if she wanted me to, and she is just absolutely adorable in this movie. Joseph Fiennes was great as the quirky detective now obsessed with Darwin Award scenarios. But the underlying problem with the movie was that there weren’t any surprises.

In the end it’s 3 stars out of 5 for “The Darwin Awards.” There are a couple of funny moments in the movie intertwined with the deaths and shootings, but just please, remember, if you are going to use your gun to pull your buddy from the icy pond, make sure you unload the gun first.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!