Anaconda

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:30 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Anaconda
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Eric Stoltz, Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, John Voight
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want them afraid of snakes for the rest of their lives.
Date Movie: Good chance of your lady jumpin’ in your lap!
Gratuitous Sex: Nope.
Gratuitous Violence: It’s got some violence, and the Anaconda eats people.
Action: Some, but mostly suspense.
Laughs: Come on, it’s about a big snake that eats people.
Memorable Scene: When Sarone (Jon Voight) gets eaten, and then a little later, un-eaten.
Memorable Quote: Not really.
Directed By: Luis Llosa

I saw the previews, I saw the billboards, I saw the ads, and all I could figure was that the movie “Anaconda” was about some people who get stuck in a river and get scared by a big snake. What those previews didn’t show was that this movie ends up being more about deceit and na├»ve people, as well as about survival.

Let me put the story line to you like this. You’ve got these documentary filmmakers heading into Amazon territory in search of the legendary Shirishama Indians. All is going well until they pick up this stranded guy on the bank of the river. This guy, Sarone, played by Jon Voight, is a snake poacher, and ends up being one really bad dude. When the anthropologist, Steven Cale (Eric Stoltz), finds himself unconscious, it’s up to the crew to find the quickest way home. They listen to Sarone,

Sarone (Jon Voight, r.) playfully demonstrates the deadly grip of a baby Anaconda on Warren’s (Jonathan Hyde) finger. he says he knows the way, but his way is to find this big snake first, and then maybe lead the crew to safety. It takes a while, but the crew figure out his plan, unfortunately for them it’s too late because Sarone has a gun and holds them all hostage while he’s hunting (or would that be fishing?) for the Anaconda. Well, things go wrong, some people die, it’s a fight for survival and trying to get home before becoming dinner.

It may sound simple enough, and maybe a boring movie, but it’s not. Acting wise, there isn’t much to speak of, all except for Jon Voight. I haven’t seen a crazed psychopath on this level since most anything Dennis Hopper plays. Voight will have you hating him, but believing him, all the while having

The world’s largest snake: the Anaconda. his own agenda without any regard to who dies. He was great and I’d recommend seeing this movie for his performance alone. Now the other character who did a great job for this film was the snake. This gargantuan animatronic special effect, combined with some real life Anacondas as well, will probably give even people who love snakes the creeps. Yea, sometimes the big guy does look a little fake, but seeing the snake eat a dude and do some other natural things is pretty cool.

I didn’t think they could make a movie about a big snake, and you know, they didn’t. Sure, the Anaconda plays a big role in the action and suspense of this film, but even without the fear of being

Terri (Jennifer Lopez) struggles to help free Danny (Ice Cube) from the deadly grip of an Anaconda. swallowed whole this film could have made it as a suspense film nonetheless. Voight was terrific, so was the snake, I just really wish the rest of the cast could have been as convincing. Don’t get me wrong, they did alright, but the film could have moved up a notch on the acting scale.

So, should you see it? Sure. I haven’t jumped in my seat in a long time, and if any snakes give you the creeps than “Anaconda” will have you covering your eyes (the guy in from of me did). Not the greatest film of all time, but pretty creepy. It’s 3 stars out of 5 for “Anaconda.”

That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right!!! L8R!!!