How’s Your Football Team Doing?

It’s hard to believe. My how the year flies by. There’s no looking back. Time flies when you’re having fun. Where has the year gone?

I guess I could throw out a few more cliches about how we look back and suddenly realize a year, season, month, day, hour has gone by, but I did just that the other day thinking about this football season. I know, it’s a little weird in respect to a football season, but as it’s past the middle of October, and I was thinking about it, the NFL regular season is nearly half over. Sure, there are the playoffs and Super Bowl that extend things another month or so, but here we are, past week seven of the 17 week/16 game season, and I’m at a weird point of still being half wrapped-up into my teams, and half thinking they’ve both got no chance to make my football season continue into the playoffs.

My teams are the Cleveland Browns and the Chicago Bears. I’ve got the Browns because I grew up in Lorain, OH, just outside of Cleveland, and I’ve got the Bears because I’ve now lived in the Chicago area longer than I lived in Ohio. Both teams show flashes of goodness, and then, just when hopes get a little higher, both teams show a blast of reality, especially after the past weekend with Jay Cutler confirming he has a groin, and the Browns confirming they don’t have a quarterback. The thing is, depending on the next run of about five games moves on, I may be at a very weird position of not knowing which team to cheer on as, and it doesn’t happen that often in the regular season, the Bears play the Browns on December 15th in a game that  just might have playoff implications for both teams, although, by then, both teams may have achieved total suckiness, thereby making the game just another December football game to watch because, well, they are your team, and you watch them until the end of the season.

My teams are both teetering at this stage of the season, but I’m just wondering how your team is doing, and so I plight: How’s your football team doing?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Have you ever been to a football training camp?

Here in Chicago, the summer has become a vast wasteland of sports. Sure, we had the Chicago Blackhawks winning the Stanley Cup, so at least that carried some excitement into the summertime, which just seems wrong as it’s hockey and it’s summer, but at least it was something to pay attention to. Now we are stuck with two baseball teams that are pretty much sucking as the Chicago Cubs are still on their twenty year plan for greatness, or something like that, and all of the White Sox fans who, at the beginning of the season, were saying the analysts were wrong in the prediction of Sox mediocrity, well, they are quickly finding out that White Sox mediocrity has turned into suckosity.

Thankfully there is hope as Chicago Bears training camp is right around the corner, July 25th for what it’s worth, with the public being able to start getting their football fix on the 26th. I’ve never been to training camp, I never really saw the point although a lot of fans say it is a fun time, and actually I’ve never been to a Bears game. My original team is the Cleveland Browns, and I remember some games at the old Cleveland Municipal Stadium, which is now at the bottom of Lake Erie. Don’t get me wrong, I love football, and I’m ready for some football, but from what most people say, and I vaguely remember, going to a game is 5 seconds of excitement with 2 minutes of dealing with the drunk people around you until 5 more seconds of excitement.

Sure, someday I hope to go to a Bears game, but as a basic fan, I can tell you that there is 99% no chance of me ending up in Bourbonnais, IL, for Bears training camp. I am wondering about everyone else out there, though, and so I plight: Have you ever been to a football training camp?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Has a Google Search Ever Led You Down the Wrong Path?

This morning there are about 286 results in Google if you search tap-dancing militant islamic fundamentalists. Add quotation marks around the phrase and you end up with 286. (Go ahead, tell me you aren’t tempted to try the search and and see for yourself?) Some, but not many of you, may remember this “search” from the writings of Zay N. Smith who used to write a quirky column called “Quick Takes” for the Chicago Sun-Times, then for WBEZ, and now can be found on a “not so easy to find his writings” website called The Beachwood Reporter (His column may not always be that easy to find – but I highly recommend looking for it). I bring that up is because sometimes Google will send you to weird places or sometimes a site probably that’s not really what you are looking for based on what you search, and as happy as I was for the extra traffic to the web site, I was curious as to the spike in traffic to an old podcast posting when, during an earlier match-up between the Chicago Bears and Dallas Cowboys, all of a sudden our page titled “A Tee Pee, the Chicago Bears, Cowboys & Aliens, a Carnival, and Shooting Up in a Theater!” started getting a lot of visitors.  Sure, the page title had “Chicago Bears” and “Cowboys” in it, but as I looked at the stats for the day it appeared people were searching for “Bears pissing on Cowboys” and low and behold there the page was, a #2 rank in Google. As the page didn’t have the word “pissing” in it I can only assume that some magical Google algorithm intertwined “pee” and “piss,” not realizing the “pee” referenced in the article was combined with “tee” so therefore about a tent and not the act of urinating. With that, if you search “Bears peeing on Cowboys,” the page shifts to #1. In the search world I guess that makes sense, and from a quick perusal of the results it didn’t seem there was a page of images of bears urinating on cowboys, but with the mixture of words, our page ranks up at the top!

I suppose the two topics, the Zay N. Smith quest for “tap-dancing militant islamic fundamentalist” Google domination, and “Bears pissing on Cowboys” aren’t directly related, but in trying to figure out the increase in traffic for my website that day, for whatever reason, it triggered that old Smith “search” thought, and I was curious what the count was up to. For what it’s worth, if you do search for Bears pissing on Cowboys, being #2 out of 4,670,000 results isn’t that bad (Add the quotes around it and you only get 6, with this post being one of them). Anyway, if you remember a Google search that didn’t quite take you to that page you were looking for, please share in the comments, but for now I plight: Has a Google search ever led you down the wrong path?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Will You Watch the Presidential Debate or Monday Night Football?

This should be a quick plight as it’s pretty much straight to the point, but after sort of paying attention to the previous two debates, knowing that I can get all of the relevant clips filtering out the B.S. the next day, and I’m a Chicago Bears fan, it really won’t be a decision for me at all as they’ve decided to put the final Presidential Debate up against the Chicago Bears/Detroit Lions Monday Night Football game. I have a 99.995% chance of skipping the debate and watching football but wonder about the rest of you, what your decision will be, and if neither of those two, feel free to comment about what your Monday night viewing will be. And so I plight: Will you watch the Presidential Debate or Monday Night Football?

Do you plan on boycotting the NFL until the normal refs are back?

So I guess, last night, while I was sleeping, the latest debacle of an NFL game with the replacement refs occurred as said refs who are taking over in place of the locked-out refs screwed up another game. From what I read they awarded the Seattle Seahawks a touchdown at the end of the games, on a play that clearly wasn’t a touchdown, thus helping the Chicago Bears in their division, but costing the Green Bay Packers what could turn out to be a chance at the postseason, and it’s only week three.

The Twitterverse exploded with controversy with Seattle fans happy but admitting the refs screwed up and the Packer fans besides themselves. Most of the rest of the NFL fans were just pissed as the experiment with the replacement refs has turned into a boondoggle. ruining the enjoyment of the sport and rendering watching any game an exercise now in waiting for the refs to screw it up. Hashtags started popping up like #boycottthenfl, #boycottthursdaynightfootball (a hash tag that is far too long, and seems kind of stupid only boycotting Thursday night’s game and not the entire league, and besides, who besides Ravens and Browns fans really care about the upcoming Thursday game?), and #nflsucks. Seriously, though, are any of these people really going to boycott watching the games until the NFL comes to an agreement with the normal refs and Ed Hochuli gets to show his guns on national TV again? I doubt it as most will now watch the games in anticipation of the refs screwing things up, and just hoping it’s the other team, much like it appears it happened to the Packers last night, that gets screwed. And so I plight: Do you plan on boycotting the NFL until the normal refs are back?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

Are You Ready for Some Football?

The NFL season opens this week, and my excitement level is about half. Having lived in Chicago more than half of my life now, I have become a Chicago Bears fan, however, having grown up near Cleveland, the Browns are always near and dear to my heart. Luckily the chance of the Browns playing the Bears in the Super Bowl is such a far-out reality that my true allegiance will probably never be tested, but I will find myself cheering on both teams an any given Sunday. This year there was some initial hope for the Bears, but then Brian Urlacher ended up injured and the team just didn’t look that great in the pre-season (Maybe Jay Cutler’s new baby with K-Cav, I mean Kristin Cavallari, is keeping him up at night), and the Browns, well, I don’t pay attention to them as much as I should, usually I’m just hoping they can win a few games a season and make it look good, but from what I could follow from some Facebook friends, it looks like it might be a long season for the Browns fans again.

The thing is I’m a sucker for believing, once the season gets going, that somehow, someway, one of my teams will make it to the Super Bowl. I will watch the games, check the standings, and until they are mathematically eliminated, always have some glimmer of hope and usually waste the three-ish hours of a Sunday yelling at the TV (Although the yelling has toned down quite a bit since I’ve gotten married) that Cutler will make that miraculous play, or the Dog-Pound will have a reason to go crazy. Then, low and behold, there will inevitably come that play in the game where I will turn into my mom, throw my arms up in disgust, and say “That’s it!”, knowing, in my head, the game is over, only thirty seconds later thinking “Maybe there’s a chance.” It’s like a self-inflicted torture every Sunday, of highs and lows, and praying the opposing team is stupid and will kick the ball to Devin Hester for another amazing kick-off return.

Such is football, and such will be Sundays for a while, and such is today’s plight: Are you ready for some football?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Winning Survivor, Ankle OCD, Christmas Movies are Coming, and The Chicago Bears Still Suck.

By: The Dude on the Right

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I hope Stu Gotz is okay because he couldn’t make the podcast, and the last thing he requested was that I have police car and jail door slamming sound effects for the podcast. I’m a little worried, but I soldier on with this Weekend Wrap-Up!” podcast episode without him, because I’m sure that is what he would have wanted me to do, especially if he were tied up!

As weekends go, mine was pretty uneventful as I’m kind of hung up with a walking boot, per doctor’s orders, following my MRI last week. During this podcast I detail my injuries, but not so much how I think I ended up with them, I think that might be a tale for another podcast. Having the walking boot isn’t that much of a pain, but mostly bugs me because I can’t help my BFF clean in preparation for our in-laws first visit this Christmastime. I did get to watch “Rise of The Planet of the Apes” and really liked it, so I deconstruct the movie for you, and I also deconstruct “Survivor,” and how Sophie won mostly because she was the person everyone hated the least. It was one of the most interesting tribal councils ever, and I’m always along for the “Survivor” ride.

The Chicago Bears still suck, there are a ton of movies coming out in the next week, “Sherlock Holmes” and “The Chipmunks” didn’t do that well at the box office even if their numbers were in the multi-millions, the days start getting longer in a few days, I still need to do Christmas shopping, and oh yea, the Bears still suck.

Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Fraternity Brothers and Cub Scouts, Hooters and The Cheesecake Factor, Austin Powers and American Pie, Pillars and Ellen’s 12 Days of Giveaways.

By: The Dude on the Right

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I survived a weekend with Theta Xi Fraternity brothers, and Stu Gotz survived a Cub Scout Christmas Party, and during this podcast episode of our “Weekend Wrap-Up!” we explain how both events weren’t nearly as crazy as you might think.

Yup, being early December, it was time for a reunion of sorts for me, with lifelong friends from college, and as times have changed, Hooters has been replaced by The Cheesecake Factory and an afternoon in a dimly-lit bar has been replaced by The Lego Store. Stu, meanwhile, kept getting conflicting instructions as to the location of a Cub Scout Christmas Party, but luckily he found it behind door number 41, and as weekends go, Stu is liking “Pillars” on the Reelz Channel, and still is liking “Cowboys & Aliens” now out on Blu-ray and me, well, a busy weekend leads to needing to catch up on my TV viewing, although I am caught up through Day 7 of Ellen’s 12 Days of Giveaways, thinking so far Day 1 was the best day to have been in the audience.

Stu still likes Austin Powers, I’m trying to schedule an “American Pie” marathon with my BFF, Stu tries to offend a lot of various folks, and this is probably the only podcast that will have the sound effect of an MRI as a part of it.

And, oh yea, the Chicago Bears suck.

Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Blago is Getting Sentenced, The Dude Needs a New Tooth, Stu Pulls a Finger, and Cotton Candy Dessert

By: The Dude on the Right

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I will apologize at the onset, as well as warn you, that the first couple of minutes of this “Weekend Wrap-Up!” episode are filled with all sorts of vulgarities. Suprisingly it’s not Stu Gotz, nor myself, doing the swearing, but Ex-Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojovich, who will be sentenced this week for being a crappy Governor. Okay, maybe not because he was a crappy Governor, but along with being a crappy Governor, there was some trumped-up charge about bribing people to fill Barack Obama’s old Senate seat, among other things a person shouldn’t do, and even though he did leave us with a laughing stock of a state, he did give us some fine, quality audio!

Now this is supposed to be a “Weekend Wrap-Up!” podcast, and Blago is getting sentenced this week, so did Stu and I talk anything about our weekends? Of course we did! Yup, we have a nice discussion about my broken implant, how I have one, or should I say had one, because of a pogo stick, and my upcoming dentist visit and the proliferation of dentist offerings on Groupon. Stu did something he swore he wouldn’t do – he went to see “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1,” as well as enjoyed some time at “Enchanted Castle” in Lombard, IL. Me, I enjoyed a great dinner at “Macarena Tapas” in Naperville, IL, with my BFF, and had some wacky, tasty dessert that included cotton candy.

Stu likes “Pull My Finger,” we both thought the Chicago Bears sucked, I’m not liking the changes occurring during the Catholic mass, and Stu saw a version of the Nutcracker performed on horseback at the Noble Horse Theater.

That’s a lot to talk about, but I think somewhere in this podcast we fit a little more!

Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Barbies are Kissing, Chicago Bears are Fighting, Adele Causes Laughing, and Jewish People are Dancing.

By: The Dude on the Right

Download and ListenDownload the Podcast!

Stu Gotz is back in town, and for this episode of our “Weekend Wrap-Up!” podcast, he doesn’t have many tales about his trip to Mickey’s World, but he has seen a few movies and lets us know if “Bad Teacher” or “Puss in Boots” are worth the watch. Me, I saw “West Side Story” (which comes out on Blu-ray tomorrow, November 15th), and “Blue Velvet,” and give my recommendations as well, as well as give Stu a recap of my travels to see “A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas.”

Yes, we do talk about movies, but I also tell Stu about some risque Faith Hill and Tim McGraw Barbie moments during the CMA Awards, and that Saturday Night Live did have some funny in it, you just had to wait about an hour and twenty minutes. We analyze dancing Jewish people in the song “Marry Me” from Bruno Mars, discuss fighting during football games, and have a culinary discussion concerning turkey, capon, or cornish hens for Turkey Day. Yup, we’re all over the place, but what kind of podcast would it be if we weren’t?

Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!