Eight Crazy Nights

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:16 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Eight Crazy Nights
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Voices of Adam Sandler, Jackie Titone, Austin Stout, Kevin Nealon, Rob Schneider
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Release Date: 2002
Kiddie Movie: It’s not a kiddie cartoon.
Date Movie: It’s not a date cartoon.
Gratuitous Sex: It’s got a three-boobed woman.
Gratuitous Violence: Wedgies and tumbling in a port-a-potty.
Action: None.
Laughs: Ehh.
Memorable Scene: The holiday banquet was very disturbing.
Memorable Quote: Whitey’s sister: “Whitey, they were giving lobster bibs in the bathroom!”
Directed By: Seth Kearsley

Adam Sandler had a chance to make a Holiday classic. Alright, maybe not a classic, but at least a nice movie you could watch with the kids. Instead he made “Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights.”

How’s this for a nice holiday story. Davey is in his early thirties. He’s the town drunk, causing havoc for anyone in a good mood, especially during the holidays. In front of the judge again, well, the judge is ready to throw the book at him except an old man, Whitey, stands up and wants to take Davey under his wing, hoping to bring Davey back to the good side of society. The judge agrees, so now Davey is an assistant referee to Whitey for the youth leagues. There was something in his past that made Davey the way he is. Whitey knows it, the old love of his life Jennifer knows it, only Davey can’t face his past to get to his future. With the help of Whitey, Davey eventually comes to terms with his past, and in the process helps Whitey to realize the love the townsfolk have for him.

It’s a nice premise, could be sort of nice for the entire family, except Sandler and his writers turn to crap to try to make a nice story funny. And I literally mean crap, as in once scene where Davey finds it funny to dump Whitey over in a port-a-potty, Whitey emerging covered in crap, Davey hosing Whitey down turning him into a crap-sicle, and then having deer lick the crap off of Whitey. And, oh yea, the movie also has a three-boobed woman.

This movie is rated PG-13 and it’s not because Sandler and friends made it funny with poop and sex jokes. It’s because Sandler and friends made it un-funny with poop and sex jokes, and this makes me somewhat sad because Sandler could have either a) made a decent gross-out cartoon or b) dropped his name from the marquee (therefore not scaring away some parents from bringing their kids), dropped the poop and sex jokes, and made a holiday cartoon that could have been rated PG, or even G, that the entire family could enjoy. Then, of course, Sandler could have used real people in this movie, instead of it being a cartoon, and it probably would have been funnier because real people are involved. The potential was there for either, instead they made a nice story into crap.

I generally like Adam Sandler style humor, but this movie just lost it on too many levels. It’s 1 ½ star out of 5 for “Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights.” And, oh yea, the movie opens with a movie short called “A Day With Meatball,” an unfunny movie about a dog.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

They’re All Gonna Laugh at You

Artist: Adam Sandler
Listenability Scale: 115%
Released by: Warner Bros. Records
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

It was around Thanksgiving, and the radio stations were playing “The Thanksgiving Song” from Adam Sandler’s “They’re All Gonna Laugh at You.” Alright, so the holiday is over, so I guess the timeliness of this review is over, but actually, the song I really liked hearing was “Lunchlady Land.” We’ll get to that soon enough.

As I’m listening I am really beginning to realize that Adam Sandler is one sick individual. Cool. Just looking at the 22 tracks on the CD and I think you can come up with that opinion for yourself. Let’s see, there’s tracks like “The Longest Pee,” “The Beating of a High School Janitor/Bus Driver/Science Teacher/Spanish Teacher,” “I’m So Wasted,” and “Teenage Love On The Phone.” All little comedy bits, sometimes pushing the limits on decency, Adam and all-star comical cast (the list ranges from Rob Schneider to David Spade to Tim Meadows to Conan O’Brien) recreate scenes hopefully not straight out of anyone’s home or school. But as sick as some of the skits get, they can sometimes be testimonials to the challenges and translations of one form of language to another, especially in listening to any of the Buffoon skits. Then of course, I hope your head is screwed on straight or you might be doing tailspins by the end of “Buddy” (I haven’t heard that much stereo separation since Queen or Pink Floyd).

But as much as Adam Sandler is about skits, he is as much about music and it can be funny, sick, happy, or sad, and Adam has a way of putting it all together. Let’s first take a look at “Food Innuendo Guy.” Here’s a nice rocker to the images drawn by melons, cucumbers, celery sticks, and different places they can end up. If you can’t figure this out, well, you either fit in the “parental advisory-explicit lyrics” category or have been sheltered all of your natural born life and since now that you have found the internet you are discovering an entirely new world. Listening on we get to “The Thanksgiving Song,” a tribute to the holiday in all of its forms. Adam keeps with rhyming through the entire song by eating turkey in a brown show, with Betty Grable, and Jimmy Walker saying “Dynomite.” It’s a simple little ditty with catchy little lines and is starting to become a holiday favorite.

And then there is “At A Medium Pace.” Here’s a gentle love song to woo any lady. Oh yea, put this one on as you’re making your moves on the couch and she is sure to be yours. Let’s just say that I think the use of the shampoo bottle may be just a tad much for your lady, but hey, you never know, she might just get into that. Let’s just say this keeps along with that “parental advisory” label.

Cruising to track 18 and I get to one of my favorite Adam Sandler songs, “Lunchlady Land.” Stirring images of every scary lady most of us have had the unfortunate chance to meet while standing in line for food at the cafeteria. Now, I know there are some nice Lunchladies out there, but I do think many of us have hit one of these ladies, perfectly described, by Adam Sandler, much less the food menu as so described. The song/story describes the rebellion by the lunch-time food against the lady, but how Sloppy Joe saves the day. The song is cute, and will have you singing “Sloppy Joe, slop, sloppy joe” all day long.

Finally, in the music category, there’s “My Little Chicken.” Let’s just say that I think there are pictures showing the love described here floating around the newsgroups somewhere.

All in all, Adam Sandler probably didn’t make too many fans of parents or lunchladies on this CD. But so what, some things need to be said and Mr. Sandler tries to find a way, any way, to say it.

Hmmmm? How to rate this CD. Song wise I hit the 80% mark on the listenability scale, and comic wise I hit a 53% for the skits (on a CD I think songs work a little better than skits – save those for the live shows). All in all, averaging it out, it’s a 60% on the listenability scale.

That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right! L8R!!!

Stan and Judy’s Kid

Artist: Adam Sandler
Listenability Scale: 15%
Released by: Warner Bros. Records
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

I’ve usually liked Adam Sandler. Whether it be his movies or his CD’s, Adam usually gets a laugh out of me, actually, usually, many laughs, and his characters are either stupid enough to laugh at, or I guess stupid enough to feel sorry for in a happy sort of way. Then I picked up “Stan and Judy’s Kid” and I now am not as big a fan of Sandlers as I used to be.

Like his other CD’s “Stan and Judy’s Kid” is a mix of skits and songs, but of the 17 tracks of material I only liked 2, both of them songs, although the ongoing “Cool Guy” skits did teach me a lesson.

Where to start on this CD? Well, I guess I’ll tell you what I liked and this won’t take long. First off there is “Chanukah Song Part II.” Although having heard it before, I always liked the Chanukah Song, in all of it’s versions, and sometimes it even makes me wish sometimes that I were a Jew rather than in the group of O.J., who’s still not a Jew. A new list of Jewish folks, the same melody, and I’m still singing along. And secondly, the other thing I liked on the CD was the song “She Comes Home to Me.” It’s a crooner song, kinda like Sinatra but with lyrics I doubt he’d touch with a ten foot pole. Let’s just say that the dude’s love is a highly paid whore who’ll “go down on a yack, lick a horse’s nut sack,” and I think that’s as far as I need to go about that song. I laughed my ass off for that one.

But then there is the rest of the CD. Most of it has Adam in a goofy voice, telling stories that aren’t really funny. For “Hot Water Burn Baby” Adam’s in his little kid voice with a story getting to how hot water burns a baby, with a twisted ending, “The Psychotic Legend of Uncle Donnie” has people getting killed with a boat propeller, and “Whitey” is a sixteen minute story of a dude in a mall. The ongoing skit for the CD is “Cool Guy,” done in five parts, basically with the moral of the story being you shouldn’t give your penis a name, such a tallywhacker, or at least don’t tell the girl you’re trying to score with it’s name. It will never work out.

I guess I was hoping for more from Adam Sandler. I know he can be funny, but sadly “Stan and Judy’s Kid” wasn’t. In the end I can only give the CD a 15% on the listenability scale. I tried to listen to it a couple of times but just kept hitting the fast forward button to get to “She Comes Home to Me” and “Chanukah Song Part II.” I’d say go and buy it for “She Comes Home to Me” alone, but I don’t think that one song is worth the fifteen bucks. Oh well.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Black Friday Tales, Muppet Talk, Adam Sandler Reminiscing, and Pee on a Toilet Seat – Again.

By: The Dude on the Right

Download and ListenDownload the Podcast!

Turkey Day is done, and along with tales of eating said turkey, Stu Gotz and I also give some of our tales of Black Friday during this podcast episode of the “Weekend Wrap-Up!”, but not before reminiscing about some old days of Adam Sandler.

Low and behold, for reasons we weren’t even able to understand, both Stu and I went out to the stores on Black Friday, with Stu having to do some finagling at a Staples to get the bargain he was looking for, while I was amazed at the lack of crowds at Sam’s Club, Home Depot, and JCPenney, although shopping at one in the afternoon may have had something to do with that.

And with the holiday being a long weekend, it wouldn’t be a holiday weekend without some movie watching, so we also give our detailed analysis of “The Muppets,” letting you know if it’s good for the kids and if the nostalgia factor might make you cry (okay, I didn’t admit to Stu that I got weepy – I really didn’t want him to call my a puss). I give a quick preview of “The Help” which comes out on Blu-ray on December 6th, Stu watched “Super 8″ and isn’t really sure who will like it, we revisit “Captain America,” we don’t give the Chicago Bears much discussion as they sucked and lost, Stu found another Starbucks’ bathroom that had a toilet seat fully of pee (Now he’s trying to blame women for it thanks to our friend Trash), and I break the news to Stu that “Community” might be going off of the air soon.

A holiday weekend has come and gone and we both survived! Hooray!

Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Anger Management

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:46 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Anger Management
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Adam Sandler, Jack Nicholson, Marisa Tomei
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Directed By: Peter Segal

As Adam Sandler seems to continue his trek to be considered a respected actor and not just a joke that’s been played too many times, now comes “Anger Management,” teaming him with Jack Nicholson and including Marisa Tomei, both respected in their profession. Can Adam prove himself to be in their league, or is he his normal over-the-top self? Only the movie will tell, but for now I can tell you this…

“Anger Management” has Sandler sentenced to take some, well, anger management therapy, after an altercation on an airplane. Assigned to him is Nicholson, who moves in with Sandler, and begins his twisted therapy. At first Sandler seems to do his best to keep his cool, but then Nicholson pushes him over the edge and hilarity is supposed to ensue.

The movie does look to have potential, especially Nicholson’s character, and Sandler has the potential to team up well with him, but for me it will be difficult to take Sandler’s character seriously, especially when to me he will always be Happy, Billy, and Pip. Hopefully he can make me forget them.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Click

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:37 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Click
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Release Date: 2006
Kiddie Movie: It actually gets kind of sad.
Date Movie: This is a toss-up. It’s not really funny, but actually more of a drama. Good luck.
Gratuitous Sex: Michael skips through foreplay. Good for him, bad for her.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Ehh.
Memorable Scene: I saw the rest of the movie in my head from the time Michael’s head rested on the “Bed, Bath, & Beyond” bed.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Frank Coraci

If you do not want to read any spoilers about this movie, “Click,” stop reading now, because for this movie I have no problem giving away key plot points, and I will be quick to give some key plot points right away in this review. I will even give you my rating now so you don’t have to continue if you don’t want to, and for “Click” I give the movie 1 ½ stars out of 5. It does have some funnies, but not many, and Kate Beckinsale is smoking hot and pretty much the movie gets 1 ½ stars because of her and the fact that she likes to role-play, but that’s another story for another time.

“Click” gives us Adam Sandler as Michael, in a movie that had a lot of potential to just be a funny, goofy movie, but tried to get way too preachy, and it didn’t work. As it is, Michael is an architect in a firm where he is trying to get the next promotion. His boss is Mr. Ammer (David Hasselhoff). As such he has to work too much and sacrifice family time for getting the next project done. At home things are hectic, with his two kids, and his smokin’ hot wife, Donna (Beckinsale). Time after time Michael misses family things because of work things, and somehow every remote control for the family is in his family room. That’s right, you’ve got the remote for the ceiling fan, the remote for the garage door, the remote for a remote-controlled car, etc. The remote that seems to be missing is the remote for the TV, and when he really needs this remote he heads to the place in the middle of the night that you would think would have a Universal Remote, “Bed, Bath, and Beyond.” Alright, it is the only store that is open this late at night. Well, Michael gets there, meets a creepy dude, and lays down on a bed proclaiming he is tired. This is the instant that I lost it because I knew, from there, that the rest of the movie was pretty much a dream, although the movie folks tried to show, in the end, it wasn’t.

So Michael, now in his dream-state, finds a door labeled “Beyond,” and he finds Morty (Christopher Walken), who gives Michael the Universal Remote he has been looking for. This remote isn’t just for his TV, it’s for his life. It can control the volume of his dog’s barking, it can let him fast-forward through fights with his wife, it can fast-forward, well, pretty much this remote is all about the fast-forwarding, and it learns what Michael wants to fast-forward through, and then does so automatically. Suddenly Michael is fast-forwarding through his life, a lot of times at ten years at a time, and wondering how he got divorced from his wife, how his little girl grew up into a hottie with big boobs, how his dog died, how he got fat, and how he ends up at his son’s wedding. And so, yes, with the help of Morty, he learns his lesson, that he shouldn’t have made his life about work, that he should have made his life about his family, and in his last, dying breath (doesn’t this sound like a great comedy), he tries to convince his son that going on his honeymoon is more important than going to a business meeting.

Next thing you know, Michael wakes up.

Yup, there Michael is, in the bed in the “Bed, Bath and Beyond” he found himself “tired” in, realizing his life isn’t over, that he can make it better, if only he becomes a family man instead of letting Mr. Ammer rule his life. Ahh, lessoned learned, but to try to say “Michael wasn’t dreaming,” when Michael gets back home from “Bed, Bath and Beyond,” low-and-behold, there on the kitchen table, it the “Universal” remote, and a note from “Morty,” asking Michael if he knows how to use the remote know. Duh, Michael throws the remote in the trash (could a sequel be there if the movie makes enough money?).

There have been way-too-many movies proclaiming that you should make sure you spend time with your family as opposed to your work, and a lot of them did a decent job. This movie didn’t because it publicized itself as a movie about a dude getting a remote control that can control his life, and it is supposed to be funny. Instead it ends up a way-to-sort-of-serious movie, preaching the importance of family. And even with the funny, it wasn’t really funny. There was a way overdone subplot of the family dog humping a giant, stuffed duck; The funny moments were pretty much already in the trailer; and one of my gauges as to how good a movie will be still holds true – when they publicize the hell out of the movie, it will leave a lot to be desired.

What sort of makes me sad is that Adam Sandler can be very funny, but lately he has been involved with movies that just fail to remember how to make the funny and instead try to get a little serious. The little kids were great in the movie, and Kate Beckinsale, just being the gorgeous dudette she is, left me getting this movie above the 1 star mark, so like I said at the beginning, it’s 1 ½ stars out of 5 for “Click.” I’m almost afraid Adam Sandler has lost the funny. That would be too bad.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!

50 First Dates

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:36 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

50 First Dates
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Rob Schneider, Sean Astin, Dan Aykroyd
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Kiddie Movie: There’s a lot of crude humor. Keep it to the teens.
Date Movie: It is a decent romantic comedy.
Gratuitous Sex: Nothing gratuitous.
Gratuitous Violence: Lucy beating up Henry when she wakes up in bed with him and doesn’t know who he is.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Some good ones.
Memorable Scene: Nothing stands out.
Memorable Quote: Henry, when trying to cop a feel: "After the 12th date, I’m entitled to unlimited boob access."
Directed By: Peter Segal
Produced By: Jack Giarraputo, Steve Golin, Nancy Juvonen

Maybe it’s just Adam Sandler’s way to make sure guys can have some fun when they have to go see romantic comedies with their dudettes – toss in some vomit joke, some nipple rubbing, and jokes about wet dreams. Me, I actually thought those jokes took away from what was developing into a sweet, romantic movie. Maybe I’m just becoming a puss as I age. Here’s the story.

Sandler plays Henry Roth. Marine veterinarian by day, dude to show tourist women a good time by making up all kinds of professions only to leave them without even a phone number by night. Opening the movie we are treated to an onslaught of testimonials of Henry’s ability to show a good time, so Henry is instantly painted as a womanizer. Then one day he finds himself in a café and sees Lucy (Drew Barrymore). For a change he finds a girl that makes him happy, actually can see himself getting in a real relationship with her, and his womanizing ways might be over. After their getting-to-know-each-other breakfast, they agree to meet each other for breakfast the next day, only when Henry arrives for their breakfast date, he is shocked that Lucy doesn’t remember him. It is explained to him that Lucy has short-term memory loss caused by a car accident about a year ago. Pretty much all of her memories lead up to the day of the accident and every time she goes to sleep, well, the previous day is gone. Henry then learns that her father and brother, along with the café patrons, do their best to keep each day the same so she doesn’t freak out finding out about the accident. This leads to every day being the same for dad and brother, watching a tape of the same football game they were scheduled to watch, and seeing “The Sixth Sense” every night because Lucy was giving it to dad as a birthday present. Lucy constantly thinks it’s the Sunday of her dad’s birthday, and everyone else plays along. But Henry thinks things can be different.

After slowly getting approval from dad to start seeing his daughter, and seeing how a day goes when Lucy finds out what happened, Henry develops a plan so that every morning Lucy starts the day watching a video tape explaining the accident, how her friends and family love her, and how she is dating Henry. An hour or two after this, Lucy accepts her fate and at least now gets to have a new day, with new discoveries, and Henry not having to work as hard to get her to like him because the tape already explains that they’re dating. All is going well for our happy couple until one day Lucy discovers that Henry is giving up on his dream to sail to Alaska and study walruses so he can be with Lucy. She decides to dump Henry, erase him out of her journal she has now been keeping, and he’ll be able to get on with his life. Blah, blah, blah, yea, they live happily ever after, although the ending isn’t as cookie cutter as you might think, which I did find refreshing.

Anyway, the movie is cute in the aspect of the chemistry between Lucy and Henry that develops every day. There’s a scene where Lucy has a beach party with the friends she hasn’t seen in a year, comments on all of their changes, and when one of Lucy’s girlfriends questions Adam on his having to make sure Lucy falls in love with him every day, she slaps her husband asking him why he can’t do the same. It’s those cute moments that make the film. But, in Adam Sandler tradition, the film is laced with uncomfortable weirdness and sexual humor that, although funny in their weirdness ways, I found took away from the movie. Case in point – Ula (Rob Schneider), Henry’s friend, being a sort of creepy sidekick who likes to rub his nipples and stores a joint down his butt-crack.

I liked the movie, but for a change found the sexual humor mostly stupid and unnecessary. Sure the premise for the movie is sort of out there, but there is a sweetness in Henry that Sandler plays well, and Barrymore does a great job with the Lucy character treating each new day with an innocence of that first date, that first kiss, that first time you realize you love someone. The movie really didn’t need a walrus barfing on Henry’s vet assistant, Alexa (Lusia Strus), whom we are pretty sure is a woman, but looks like a man, nor the idea that Doug (Sean Astin), Lucy’s brother, wants to know if steroids can cause wet dreams. It stood as a better romantic comedy on its original premise and really didn’t need the crude humor. 2 ½ stars out of 5. I probably would have given it 3 ½, but the unnecessary stabs at humor cost it a star in my book.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!