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October 6, 2008

Chicago Sports, Stu's Schnoz, Apples, and A Happy Faced Barn.

By: The Dude on the Right
Stu Gotz was worried about his ticker but found out it was only his giant nose, so I'm flying solo for this "Weekend Wrap-Up!" podcast, and even though my impression of Stu sucks, and I don't keep it going throughout the podcast (mostly because it would have probably been really annoying), I let you know what Stu sort of sounds like right now, or maybe not.  But this is a podcast about my weekend, and like many Chicagoans, it was a lot about sports.  Sure, the Chicago Cubs finalized their meltdown, with this year's team securing their history in Cub's lore as the team that made them not win a World Series in 100 years, and the Chicago Bears are actually looking good, and as a Kyle Orton athletic supporter, I was happy to see him do well, but were the Detroit Lions really a good indication of their Bear-ness?  And then there are the White Sox, breathing life into the hopes of Chicago baseball fans, or at least south-side fans, for another game.  The crappy part is that as I'm typing this, and recorded the podcast, the White Sox aren't doing well (in fact they lost), and I'm blaming their losing this series on the fact that the White Sox management people urged fans to wear black, but then gave the fans those dumb-ass, white, towels, which you might as well just call "Homer-Hankies," or something else gay like that, instead of refilling the order at "Bed, Bath & Beyond" for 40,000 black towels.  Blackouts only work when everything is black, and I hate to create my own conspiracy theory, but what the hell?  When the Chicago White Sox had their original "blackout" for the one game playoff, well, fans donned their black outfits, the fans were given black towels, and on TV it looked eerily cool, especially with Halloween coming.  Then came the playoffs, and on TV you know what looks contrasting?  People dressed in black while waving white towels.  Do you know who waves white towels?  Managers in the corners of a boxer, a boxer who is about to be pummeled beyond all recognition.  They don't throw in a black towel; they throw in a white towel, and that's what the White Sox fans are flailing above their heads during this game.  Black towels are south side Chicago - White towels are lame-asses.

Enough about sports and TV conspiracy theories, my weekend also included something way out of normalcy for me, thanks to my BFF, and it might be something both of us needed - a trip to do some apple picking, at some place called The Elegant Farmer, which plunged me into a world of wondering if people have fallen off of the hayride, why we kept getting in line at the donut shack only to have them run out of donuts, and I don't care how the apple people try to sell it - hail damaged apples look gross, I'm not putting them in my basket, and I have no idea how I didn't fall off of that ladder!

Most of my weekend was really about apple picking, so I'm sorry for the baseball rant, but in a bizarre way I thought the Chicago White Sox could actually pull off a second win, but with those dumb-ass white towels, the White Sox fans now look like every other dorky fan in the Major Leagues.  A blackout means black, that you are a bad-ass - white towels mean you give up.

And, oh yea, during this podcast I also tell how I might start a new spotlight dealing with "The Biggest Loser."

This is probably the longest synopsis for a fifteen minute podcast ever, but I can't believe both Chicago baseball teams sucked this bad.

Thanks for listening!

That's it for this one!  I'm The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

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Posted by Rightdude at October 6, 2008 7:33 PM

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