Entertainment Ave!

By:

The Dude on the Right
Okay, so this, my next Blog, isn’t about a scientific study about unit size,
hopefully for you dudettes, it will be the next, but I just wanted to lament
about my Christmas decorating and how it isn’t going too well so far. 

My Christmas decorating used to be the easiest thing in the world, usually
taking about 15 minutes. It started probably about six years ago, when I finally
broke down and bought a tree. Now, me, being the generally lazy decorator that I
am, of course bought a tree with lights pre-installed. I had ornaments thanks to
my Mom ordering me Hallmark ornaments for a number of years, and so, I moved one
of my end tables in front of the front room window, assembled the tree, put on
the ornaments, and even bought some Christmas tree skirting. Bamm, that first
time it took me about 60 minutes to go from opening the box to having a lit tree
complete with ornaments.

Christmas came and went that year, and as it went, I was faced with the crappy
task of packing away the ornaments, taking apart the tree, and in all honesty,
this seemed like it would take longer than the assembly. But then a moment of
genius occurred to me. I had a spare bedroom upstairs, the tree wasn’t that
heavy (it’s only a 4 1/2 foot fake tree), so I said to myself, "Self, why don’t
you just carry the tree upstairs, ornaments and all, throw an old bed sheet over
it, and then next year, all you have to do is move the end table, carry the tree
down the stairs, and you’d be done?" And so, for years, that is exactly what I
did. I’d get back from the Old Country after Thanksgiving, move my end table, go
upstairs and remove the bed sheet, carry down my decorated tree, and
"Voilà!" , about 15 minutes
from start to finish, my Christmas decorating was done. I was always so proud of
the time it took me to decorate that whenever I was in a conversation about how
long it would take someone to deck their halls, and had to regale those present
with my genius.

Then, visiting a friend of mine, I was shamed, at least in my head, at the
total lameness of my Christmas decorating. At her house they had this giant
village built, in their basement, that stretched along one wall and halfway
along another, and as proud as I was that my decorating only took 15 minutes, in
my head I decided something more needed to be done. So, after Christmas was
over, I saw an ad that the village houses and props were 75% off, so it started. 
I bought a couple of houses, a lighthouse, and the next year, my decorating
started to get more complicated. This was a few years ago. Then I added a
ski-lift, an old train set, and things got a little worse, although not as bad
as this year. In the previous year I sort of had the train set halfway done as I
didn’t have the width to make the full loop. It looked alright, but the train
didn’t work. So, this year, I calculated all of the space needed, set up the
plywood, and started to get to work. This is where things really started to go
wrong. First mistake, bringing down my ornamented Christmas tree and plopping it
on the plywood first. Yup, there was my tree, standing proud, only now I needed
to install the train track.

No biggy, until, well, sprawled along the plywood trying to get the
thumbtacks put in to secure the train track, my svelte body under the tree,
well, wouldn’t you know it, I lifted my back just a little too much, and then
the tree started to tumble, I caught the tree, but not before 90% of the
ornaments decided to vacate their place on the tree and onto the floor.

Great, my decorating is now starting to go horribly wrong, now I’ve got to
re-ornamentate the tree, and the angel on the top of the tree, while taking her
tumble, well she lost her wings.

But that wasn’t all.

Nope, finally settling into the fact my decorating was getting slightly more
entailed than I planned it to be, I continued laying the train track, only to
quickly realize that I didn’t have enough track connectors. So much for getting
my decorating done on that night. So, decorating not finished, I go to bed, wake
up the next day, head to the hobby store, get more track connectors, and I’m
psyched that "Yes, I can finally finish this Christmas decorating crap this
evening, it will be great, the train will work, and it will officialy be the
Holiday Season in the dude-pad." Evening comes, and begin decorating again, and
I thought I would be creative with the train by kinda loopy-looping it rather
than just having a normal oval, except there was one other problem – I
miscalculated the amount of track needed. Yup, there I was, most of the track
tacked down, getting towards at least finishing the train, when, low and behold,
I was one track short. One freakin’ track short.

I’ve already spent way to much time on this project, I’ve got a tree with
only a few ornaments left on it, I’m sure I need more fake snow, and I need ONE
PIECE OF TRACK THAT I COULD HAVE BOUGHT AT THE HOBBY STORE EARLIER IN THE DAY
BUT NOW THE STORE IS CLOSED.

I thought of just leaving my decorating as is, tree half done, train not
finished, ski-lift still in its box, especially since I rarely entertain, so who
is going to see it anyway, and wouldn’t it be a funnier story if I had people
over with my "not done" decorating, but, after this blog, I’m going back to
work. I decided I will untack some of the train track, remove one piece,
re-assemble the train, so hopefully I can at least get the train going. Then
it’s time to unpack my village, get the skiers skiing and the boat boating, and
I can almost bet you by the end of the night, I will have one last problem, not
enough fake snow.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right

Well, Thanksgiving is over, and there is usually at least one story from a
Thanksgiving that is sort of entertaining, and I’m pretty boring at telling
them, but this Podcast has a story about me, my sister, and my under the age of
seventeen year old niece, going to see "Saw
II."  Also is some talking about staying at the old homestead instead
of a hotel, and my being jealous of Oprah, especially as her "My
Favorite Things" show came around.

As always, I welcome your comments.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
Last weekend was my 20 year high school reunion and I didn’t go, and the more I
think about it, I’m a little bummed I missed it.  The worst part about it,
as things ended up working out, in hindsight, I could have gone.

The first
hindrance in making any plans was that by the time I found out when the reunion
was, I had already put in a request for concert clearance for Bon Jovi. 
Jovi was playing in Chicago last Friday and Saturday, and when I put in the
request, I said either show would be fine.  Not knowing if I would get
clearance for Friday or Saturday, or get clearance at all, I couldn’t make
definite plans.  And in a case of unbelievable coincidences, I missed my 10
year reunion, because of, well, a

Bon Jovi concert.  Anyway, my plan was that if I got clearance for the
Friday show, or didn’t get clearance at all, I would head back to the homestead
Saturday morning for the reunion on Saturday night, then head back to the Windy
City on Saturday.  As it turned out, I didn’t get clearance at all, so
could have gone, but something else got in the way.

In addition to this web
site, I also do some business consulting, and one of the companies I do work for
was having problems with this GPS unit they recently purchased.  They
wanted to use it to find manholes for a construction job they had, and got the
manhole coordinate files from the General Contractor.  I got it installed,
but something wasn’t right.  When I installed it at their office, I knew
that the manholes were anywhere from 30 to 40 miles away from their office, but
the GPS unit kept saying the manholes were about 500 miles north.  That put
them in Canada.  The G.C. files also contained a "coordinate system" file,
saying the coordinates were in something called a "Stateplane
Illinois East 1201" system, yet every time I entered that into the GPS unit, I
kept getting the same thing, manholes 500 miles away.  Not being a mapping
dude, I tried to do some investigating on the internet, but no matter what I
tried, the result was the same.  Then one of the computer dudes at the GC
said they had problems getting the right distance out of their office, but when
they were actually in the near vicinity of the manholes, it worked fine. 
Well, the company was really jumping to get this thing to work right, so I
agreed to go up to northern Illinois on the Saturday of the reunion, pretty much
cementing my missing the reunion.  The thing is, in my gut, I knew it
wouldn’t make a difference.  I figured something was wrong with either the
coordinate file or the coordinate system they said it was, but I went up to the
north shore of Illinois to do some testing anyway.  Sure enough, I get up
to the North Shore and the manholes are now around 470 miles north of me. 
Yup, according to the GPS, they are still up in Canada.

As things worked out,
on Monday I got a hold of the engineers who supplied the original coordinate
file, and low and behold, the coordinate system was in something called "UTM
NAD83 ZONE 16," or something like that, and the coordinates were in meters, not
feet, like the G.C. supplied file said they were.  I popped that into the
GPS unit, and yup, everything was right with the world, or at least the manholes
were right where they were supposed to be.

My problem, still to this day, is
that at times I don’t listen to myself.  Everything told me not to waste my
time heading to northern Illinois last Saturday, it wouldn’t make a difference,
and it didn’t.  No Bon Jovi clearance, the GPS unit still wouldn’t work
right, and in the end I could have gone to my reunion.  I will give the
folks that organized the reunion credit, though, because they put it together
even though my

high school closed down, and they posted some pictures from the shindig, but
I have to say, that for the most part, after checking out the photos, I’m having
a hard time recognizing most of them.  Me, I look in the mirror and I don’t
look like I’ve aged a day after high school.  Well, alright, maybe a year
or two.  The hair is the same, I’ve still got the svelte body I had back
then, and figure I would have walked in the door with everyone saying something
like "Dude, you look exactly the same as I remember you!  What’s your
secret?" to which I would reply back "Who are you?"  All I know is I hope
Bon Jovi won’t be in Chicago the same day as my 25th year reunion because that
started the entire process of missing my reunions ten years ago.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right

This is my last

podcast, at least for this year until next year when it’s the Chicago Cubs’
turn (yea, right, like that’s gonna happen), on the super-duper, most-fabulous,
unbelievable, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, World Series that just went
down between the Chicago White Sox and the Houston Astros.  It was a great
series, except for the singing, and maybe it’s just my opinion, but I don’t
think that the Major League Baseballs, the NBA’s, the NFL’s, or even the hockey
folks, understand that we don’t really need to have someone famous singing the
National Anthem, just someone who can sing it well, or at least just enjoying it
(like a kids choir), at least at the playoff/finals time.  Most singers
can’t sing the Anthem, and we are constantly reminded of this, during these
championship games, so why can’t the league folks just grab the people who can
do a great job, and plug them in.  My favorite is the dude who does the
Cubs’ games,

Wayne Messmer.  For baseball all I ask is a couple of things: 
Drop the singing of "America the Beautiful" at the

7th Inning Stretch and go back to either "Take
Me Out to the Ballgame" or a local favorite for the team, like the Houston
fans singing "Deep in the Heart of Texas."  Let the famous person butcher
these songs, at least we can have a laugh, as we, in Chicago, always laugh at
Mike Ditka singing at the Cubs game.  This is almost turning into a blog
rather than a podcast, but click on the podcast link and listen to it, because
my favorite World Series audio is from a news broadcast after game 4.  As
much as I make fun, I’d probably be doing the same, but it’s pretty funny, at
least for me.

As always, I welcome your comments.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

By:

The Dude on the Right
Well, the celebrating is over!  The Chicago White Sox have won the World
Series in one of the best World Series I have seen in a while.  Alright,
maybe it wasn’t the best, but with a team to cheer on, there was a vested
interest in the games.  That and the fact that my sister and her family
won’t be able to taunt me because their Astros, well, lost.  They could
have won, won any of the games, but they didn’t.  So I’ll just let this one
last thing fly: "Na
na na na.  Na, na, na, na.  Hey, hey, hey.  Goodbye."

So,
now, with baseball over in Chicago, there is only one thing to ask: 
Are you
ready for some football?  Yup, all focus now turns to the Chicago
Bears, who tonight sit alone, atop the mighty NFC North Division, with the
phenomenal record of 4-3. 

Kyle Orton is the man, or at least the first quarterback in a long time to
play seven consecutive games, and that gives me hope, especially since he seems
to get a little smarter with each game.

Anyway, enough about sports, what
about this place.  Well, this week I’ve got a lot planned to finish. 
There will be a movie review of "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang", a podcast on some last
thoughts about the World Series, a DVD review of "Kicking & Screaming," and
maybe also "Batman Begins," a written CD review of

Bon Jovi’s "Have a Nice Day," hopefully a CD review of the latest CD from 
"Story of the Year," and a movie review of either "Saw 2" or "The Weatherman,"
leading up to, hopefully, covering Bon Jovi at the United Center next weekend. 
And if that’s not enough, I came up with an idea for a new web site this
weekend, so even though you may not see it directly, I’ve got to put some
initial work into it.

So I’m off to get my audio clips ready for my podcast,
have some CD listening to do, and some writing to be posted later.  And if
you say, "But Dude, I’m tired of coming back here day after day only to find
nothing new," well, if you’ve got a

Yahoo!,

Newsgator,

MSN, or an RSS
news reader, you can always subscribe and get What’s New? when it’s new.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!