Movie Stats & Links
||Bridget Fonda, Christopher Walken, Skeet Ulrich, Tom
Arnold, Gina Gershon, Lolita Davidovich, Paul Mazursky,
Deep story line and Skeet's nice butt - leave the kids at
Sure, bring them along.
No. Bridget stays mostly clothed and Skeet doesn't, but
no real sex.
Not really, but the blood flowing may gross you out.
No Terminator here.
Lots of them.
The entire explaination of being a Catholic between Bill
(Walken), August (Arnold), Antoinette (Davidovich), and
August to Antoinette: "You dance topless in a beer
garden. You aren't a Catholic."
Artie on his cell phone: "I'm gonna hang up on you now
'cause I don't want to get that new kind of AIDS - the kind
you get from talking to assholes."
August: "We don't allow women in OUTRAGE." Antoinette:
"That's the whole God damn trouble with the Catholic church.
All that boy/girl shit - keepin' 'em separated so they won't
have impure thoughts and get aroused."
Lila Cazes and Fida Attieh
It's Saturday night and Whammy calls me up.
She's bored, looking for something to do, and suggests a movie. I'm
like, "Sure, but I've seen most of them out right now." "What's
good?" she asks. So I'm flipping through the movie guide in the paper
and see this ad for a movie called "Touch." I ask her "What about
going to see 'Touch'?" "What's it about?" "I have no idea but the ad
says it's "A Gripping Comedy" and it's got Bridget Fonda, Christopher
Walken, Skeet Ulrich, Tom Arnold, Gina Gershon, Lolita Davidovish,
Paul Mazursky, and Jeneane Garafalo." She says, "Who?" That's it,
A Movie Review
Joined by about ten other folks in the movie theater I'm thinking
this movie is going to be a dud. Come on, no advertising, it's only
playing at two theaters in Chicago, and there were ten other people I
don't know sitting around me. My only hope was that since it was
rated R and Bridget Fonda was in it that there might be some
gratuitous sex, but we'll get to that outcome later. Two previews,
the movie starts and first we get a confused lesson on how to address
LL Cool J, then we get to see a drunk dude whipping commemorative
plates of the Presidents and hit a blind lady. Enter Bill
(Christopher Walken), the drunk dude stops throwing the Presidents,
enter Juvenal (Skeet Ulrich), there's a little blood on the blind
lady, but now she can see. It's a miracle and I'm confused.
Well, let's give you a little rundown about "Touch" now that I've
seen it. First off you've got Juvenal. He's out from being a monk and
working in the alcohol rehab center. Nothing special there except
that if he touches sick people he can heal them, he has the "touch,"
and probably, hence the name of the movie. Then you've got Bill, an
old religious scam artist now stuck selling mobile homes and looking
for a way back into the religion game. He's friends with Lynn
(Bridget Fonda), a band manager type who gets sent by Bill to find
out the scoop on Juvenal, but yea, you guessed it, finds out the
scoop and if he's good in bed. Now you've got August (Tom Arnold) who
is the leader of a new group called "OUTRAGE," a religious group who
wants to change the Catholic religion back to the old days with Latin
and stuff. Now, if those four aren't a strange mix enough for a
movie, enter Debra (Gina Gershon), the trashy TV talk show host,
Kathy (Jeneane Garofalo), the reporter from the small time newspaper,
Artie (Paul Mazursky), the record promoter looking to either score
big with a record from healing boy Juvenal or score big with
Antoinette (Lolita Davidovich), whose son was healed by Juvee. What
you get are seven people all trying to get something from our hero,
all succeeding in their own way, but I think Juvenal is the luckiest
guy of them all because he gets Lynn.
Set in a town where everyone wears some of the tackiest clothes
known to man (or woman), basically, as the movie goes, Bill is
looking to exploit Juvenal, from books to television to record deals,
and enlists the help of all our cast to achieve his lofty goal.
Everyone seems to be having a good old time, all except August, who
is getting screwed because he never gets mentioned in any of the
publicity. Pissed, in the end he takes matters into his own hands.
Meanwhile, Juvenal doesn't seem to care that everyone is exploiting
him, he seems more amazed that anyone really cares, all until he
realizes the money Bill is going to make. All the while he has the
loving and caring Lynn by his side, trying to keep him sheltered from
In "Touch" you've got this great intertwining of characters in a
story line that if one of them was missing would lose its edge. I
found myself bustin' up at the continuous poking of fun at the entire
religious world, from August and his "OUTRAGE" group to finding out
our hero has committed some of the worst sins. It pokes fun at the
tabloid television and newspaper media, and even throws in a nice
love story. And in the end, I found myself watching one of the best
movies of its twisted kind since "Pulp Fiction."
Now, you ladies out there always complaining that movies show the
naked girls but not the naked guys, well, this is the movie for you.
Now, don't get all in a tizzy, there's no frontal nudity, but as
Whammy and I were driving back to her place she comments, "I don't
ever think I've seen that much male nudity in a movie in a long time.
Boy he's got a nice butt." Me, I'm bummin', and Whammy goes, "What,
Bridget Fonda had that nice outfit on in the kitchen, and they had
that one side shot where you could see her boob." I'm like "Not
really. Come on Whammy, I'm coming to this movie thinking 'Rated R,
Bridget Fonda, yes!' But no, all us guys get is a skimpy little
outfit, some nice t-shirts, and the side of a boob. You, how'd you
put it, you got to see 'a nice butt.'"
Oh well, sorry for that little nudity interlude, but guys, if
you're going looking for gratuitous sex and nudity, well, all you
really get is a pretty funny movie. Girls, though, you get a "nice
butt" too. All in all I really liked "Touch" and rate it on a must
see list. Hopefully it will be released and pushed to a wider
audience because it should be one of those classic flicks, but for
now I can say I saw a damn good movie and you probably saw a volcano
movie with a lot of stupid people. Four and a half stars out of five
from me for "Touch."
That's it for this one, I'm the Dude on the Right! L8R!!