Movie Stats & Links
||John Travolta, Hugh Jackman,
Halle Berry, Don Cheadle
||Leave them at
||It's an action
film. It's up to you and your knowing your dudette.
blow-job and Halle gets naked.
get blow up, so do buildings.
||Some chase scenes.
||The movie if you
really think about it.
"job interview": "Oh, she's good, isn't
Jonathan D. Krane
A Movie Review
I was able to forget reality and was buying into
"Swordfish" until Stanley (Hugh Jackman) rolled down a
cliff (followed by the cops rolling down the same cliff after him).
It was then that I realized, even with the great chases and
high-tech story, that "Swordfish" was pretty stupid and I
just couldnít let it slide. Itís kind of funny that in the
opening sequence Gabriel (John Travolta) is telling the cops that
all Hollywood makes is shit, when, well, things arenít looking for
too good for Travolta movies lately. Anyway, here are the basics for
Gabriel used to work for the government, and sort of still does,
but this time heís looking to steal 9+ billion dollars to finance
killing the terrorist bad guys and thus continuing the American way
of life. The problem is he needs a great computer hacker to get the
money from one account to another and his original prospect just got
busted at the airport. So he enlists Stanley who is coerced by
Ginger (Halle Berry) to helping because, well, he wants to get his
daughter back. Well, that and a blow-job and a gun to his head didnít
hurt either. So we get Stanley working to break into computers, we
get Ginger being seductive, and we get Gabriel working to be a
bad-ass. It sounds pretty good, and like I said before, well, I was
able to suspend reality until Stanley took the leap over the cliff.
Then every stupid thing about the movie came out. Now I couldnít
buy the fact that the government had 9+ billion dollars floating in
a bank account that it sort of forgot about; now I couldnít buy
the car chase with Gabriel touting guns in both hands as Stanley was
steering; now I couldnít but the bus flying through the air, and
now I couldnít buy this movie even with hostages blowing up and
Halle Berry showing her boobs.
Itís too bad because I still think
Travolta makes a good bad guy (he wasnít bad as the sinister
Gabriel), Jackman came across well as the sucker who just wanted to
play with computers, and Berry, well, just looked hot. The three of
them were wasted in a movie that was just a little too over the top.
For this rating Iíll break it down like this: Ĺ star for Halle
Berry bearing her breasts (although appreciated it didnít seem
necessary for the story), Ĺ star for hostages blowing up, Ĺ star
for the job interview scene, Ĺ star the scene where Stanley was in
his computer zone, and Ė Ĺ star for when Stanley and the cops
went rolling down the hill. That leaves "Swordfish" at 2
Ĺ stars out of 5. Itís too bad great performances got wasted in a
movie that went just a little too far past my reality level.
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!