The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie
Movie Stats & Links
||The voices of:
Phil Vischer, Mike Nawrocki, Cam Clarke
||It's all for them.
||Only if they are
related to the children you are bringing.
||I would like to
say the Princess was hot, but really, how hot can a leek be?
||Some running, or
rather I should say bouncing.
||For the kids.
In an attempt to keep my niece wholesome, and her coming
upon her 17th birthday, I decided to be a good
uncle. Instead of taking her and her family to R-rated
films, films like "Saw II," "Borat: Cultural Learnings of
America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan," and
"Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street," as I have
done in the past, what better way to help her maintain her
innocence then to see a movie with animated
vegetables. So there we were, myself, my niece, and her
family, having a private viewing of "The Pirates Who Donít
do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie."
The Pirates Who
Don't Do Anything:
A VeggieTales Movie
A Movie Review
The premise of the movie is pretty simple Ė we have three
vegetables in current time, Elliot (heís a cucumber), George
(heís a grape Ė fine, not a vegetable, but there arenít too
many vegetables to make into characters and calling it a "veggiefruitytales"
movie would be too complicated, but Iím sorry, I digress),
and Sedgewick (heís a gourd). They are stuck doing the
crappy work at a dinner-theater, kind of like Medieval Times
but with a pirate theme, and their shyness, laziness, and
fear keep them from becoming more than just food servers. In
the meantime, back in the 17th century, a crazy
vegetable is looking to take over the kingdom, he starts by
kidnapping the Prince, plots to kill the king, and needs to
also get the Princess (sheís a leek). But the Princess has
sent a "helpseeker," which dispenses a boat to our trio of
wannabe heroes, they hop in the boat, press a button, and
are transported back to the 17th century
to save the day.
Okay, Iím going to leave the story at that because really
itís not that important, especially as you try to grasp
killer cheese curls. As someone who has never seen a
VeggieTales cartoon, it is weird seeing animated characters
swinging swords, climbing things, and manipulating things,
all with no arms or hands. The moral part of the story
(pretty much the King is supposed to be a figure for God I
really bug me, the animation was great, but this movie is
really for the little ones, which pretty much means donít
take your 17 year old niece to go and see it. For the
kiddies itís probably a 3 Ĺ star kind of film, but for the
adults you really have to sink yourself into the depths of
children cartoon loving to enjoy this one. The only reason I
say that is because my sister, who can usually sink herself
to that depth, didnít care for the film. Iíll drop it one
star for no entertainment for the adults, even for my
sister, leaving "The Pirates Who Donít do Anything" with 2 Ĺ
stars out of 5.
Take your kids but bring your iPod so you can listen to
something else while they marvel at the pretty colors and
are too young to know that a grape isnít a vegetable.
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!!