The New Guy
Movie Stats & Links
||DJ Qualls, Lyle
Lovett, Eddie Griffin, Eliza Dushku
||Nah. It's a
kick your ass for taking her.
||I laughed a lot.
You probably won't.
||The bikini fashion
||"When you break
your dick in front of the whole school, people remember."
||Mark Ciardi, Todd Garner, Gordon Gray
I didnít realize "The New Guy" would be such a
star-studded affair. You get Gene Simmons, Tommy Lee, Kool Mo Dee,
Vanilla Ice, Henry Rollins, and David Hasselhoff among others, on top
of the all-star cast of DJ Qualls, Eddie Griffin, and the always hot
in a cheerleaderís uniform, Eliza Dushku. And for those of you easily
amused, as I am want to be, "The New Guy" isnít as bad as most critics
deem, itís just stupid fun.
The New Guy
A Movie Review
DJ Squalls plays Dizzy. Dizzy is one of
those kids in high school who always gets picked on. He hopes senior
year will be different for him and his friends, but when the
blue-haired school administrator breaks his penis thinking it is a
gun, in front of all of the other students, he knows his life will be
miserable. After spending some time in jail, meeting up with Luther
(Eddie Griffin), well, Luther takes him under his wing and tells Dizzy
how he can be the "cool" dude, but heíll have to get transferred to
another school first. Cheating on tests doesnít get him transferred,
showing the principal taking a dump doesnít get him transferred, but
when Dizzy breaks a mop handle, well thatís destruction of school
property and finally Dizzy ends up in a different high school, and his
plan takes shape.
Well, in his new high school, Dizzy, now called Gil, is a hit. He
kicks the ass of the biggest dude at school, he has the cheerleaders
drooling over him, and somehow gets everyone to get along. In the
meantime he has learned who his true friends are, gets the love of the
girl, and shows that even the nerd can be cool.
Yea, the story is week, but what I liked about the movie was that
it didnít take itself seriously at all. Lyle Lovett as Dizzyís dad
wears braces and gets put on fire, prison has a dude, everyday, trying
to escape and being shot, and during the final scenes, with Dizzyís
band, they donít even try to pretend they are playing their
instruments. You even have Dizzy and Danielle (Dushku) riding
off into the sunset.
I wonít bother giving you anymore boring story details, this is one
of those movies where you know if you can deal with it and enjoy it,
or will walk out after the first fifteen minutes. Donít waste your
breath telling me "The New Guy" sucked, if you think so you shouldnít
have gone to see it in the first place. 2 Ĺ stars out of 5. It is what
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!