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Kiss the Girls
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Morgan Freeman, Ashley Judd, Carl Elwes, Alex McArthur, Tony Goldwyn, Jay Sanders, Bill Nunn
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want to bore or dement them.
Date Movie: Nope. Bad as it may be, it might still creep out your girly.
Gratuitous Sex: A good nudie scene would have done wonders for my morale while sitting and watching this movie. But that never happened and neither did any sex.
Gratuitous Violence: A couple of good fights with some blood.
Action: It tried but failed.
Laughs: Nope.
Memorable Scene: I will say that Ashley Judd is one box-kicking ass-kicking doll!!! Err.. Ahh… I mean lady. Sorry. Don't kick my ass.
Memorable Quote: All bad and nothing classic.
Directed By: Gary Fleder
Produced By: David Brown & Joe Wizan

Kiss the Girls
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - R

It's 1:51 Long

A Review by
Stu Gotz
Hmmm… What do you say about a movie that had a fairly well known cast, was based on a best selling book, and really didn't do a whole lot for me as a viewer. Not a whole lot. That being the case this review will be short and trite.

I didn't like "Kiss The Girls," but I didn't dislike it either (does that make sense?). What I really didn't like about this movie was that it was predictable and somewhat unbelievable in your typical Hollywood suspense/thriller cliché style. What's unbelievable? First off, there is no way in hell any law enforcement agency would allow its own officers, much less one from another jurisdiction, to partake in an abduction/murder investigation where the officer in question has an emotional attachment to the case, except for maybe the dingleberrys at the LAPD. But anyway, this is the case with Washington D.C. forensics' psychologist, Alex Cross (Morgan Freeman), assisting the FBI with an investigation where his niece is abducted. Now I realize Morgan is the star of this movie, but do you really expect me to believe that his instinct & intuition, aided by a kick-boxing and recently abducted but escaped intern, Kate McTiernan (Ashley Judd), and a local college student is better than that of a FBI task force? I don't think so.

Alright, wait a minute. Before I jump the gun, here's a little plot summary. Cross' niece gets abducted in this North Carolina city, Cross sets out to find the kidnapper, Cross infiltrates the Durham police department, Cross saves Kate with his medical diagnosis, Cross tracks himself to L.A. following a clue, Cross botches the capture, Cross heads back to N.C., Cross botches another capture attempt, Cross kills the kidnapper/murderer. How's that?

Anyway, back to insulting me. Now they toss me this scene: Cross decides to follow a suspect into an L.A. night club and won't be noticed because, as he puts it, he has "20 years of experience blending in," or something like that. Yeah. Sure. Two, 50 year old black men do not "blend" in a predominately white, L.A., yuppie night club, especially not dressed the way they were. And my last insult: At the end, Cross realizes who the killer is and tries to call to warn Ashley, but the killer is in the house with her and has cut the line to one phone. Who the hell in the 1990's has only one phone in a split level house? Give me a fucking break! Who wrote this shit?!?

I will say that the movie did have a neat but completely predicable twist to it, and honestly did try to be suspenseful. Sadly the movie was not suspenseful at all, and I'd have to say that "Kiss the Girls" is a sad mix of "Seven," a good movie which also starred Freeman, and "Jennifer 8," a shitty psycho-suspense-thriller. I give "Kiss the Girls" 2 of 5 stars and I'm Stu Gotz. Wait for it on cable and then watch something else. 'Nuff said.

 

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