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Kiss of the Dragon
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Jet Li, Bridget Fronda, Tcheky Karyo, Max Ryan
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Web Site: www.kissofthedragon.com
Kiddie Movie: Leave them at home.
Date Movie: She might get snuggly or just think the movie is stupid.
Gratuitous Sex: No nudity (damn!), but the drug lord gets some sex.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots and lots.  And then lots more.
Action: See "Violence."
Laughs: It almost seemed like a comedy at times.
Memorable Scene: Creative use of laundry room items.
Memorable Quote: Jessica, after stitching Liu's wound: "I used to sew up pigs."
Also the exchange of: Liu - "I'm a cop."
Jessica - "I'm Santa Claus."
Liu - "Who's Santa Claus?"
Directed By: Chris Nahon
Produced By: Luc Besson, Steve Chasman, Jet Li, Happy Walters

Kiss of the Dragon
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - R

It's 1:40 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
I really hope the filmmakers for "Kiss of the Dragon" didnít expect us to take the film too seriously. I mean, how can you when Liu Jiuan (Jet Li) completely dismantles the French police, even in one scene invading the police headquarters, walking in on a martial arts training class, and proceeds to kick the asses of the collective group of about 20 people. It was just so over the top that it was hilarious rather than an action sort of way. Even the story is kinda silly.

In "Kiss of the Dragon" Liu is sent from China to help arrest a Chinese drug dealer. He meets up with the head police dude, Richard (Tcheky Karyo), who is actually the bad guy, and Liu gets set up for the murder of the drug dude. Now Liu is on the run, clutching the videotape evidence showing he didnít commit the murder, and rather than just head for the Chinese embassy, he waits for a call from his superiors as to what to do next. The problem is that Richard is following the Chinese dudes, tapping their phone calls, and ends up getting the tape back. Yes, you guessed it, rather than destroying the tape Richard holds onto it.

So how does Bridget Fonda fit in? Well, she plays Jessica who is being blackmailed into prostitution by Richard so she can get her daughter back. Jessica witnessed the murder and yet Richard doesnít kill her. Low and behold her "corner" is right in front of the shop where Liu is hiding out, he lets her go pee, she stitches up his wound, and their relationship develops. Eventually Liu and Jessica figure out who each other is and how they fit into the murder of the drug dealer dude, and Liu promises he would get Jessicaís daughter back if she tells what she knows about the murder. Blah, blah, blah.

In the end do you really care what the story is? Nah. All you care about is if Jet Li kicks some ass and maybe, as a bonus, Bridget might show some skin. You get some nice bra action from Bridget, but the movie is full of Jet Li kicking ass, kicking so much ass too the point it is just funny. You get guys dropped on their heads getting their necks broken, you get creative uses of laundry equipment, you get Li kicking a billiard ball across a room to take out the dude with a gun, you get Li using acupuncture needles which he carries on his wristband (one used in the spot called the kiss of the dragon, hence the title of the movie, which delivers quite a gruesome death as your face basically begins to bleed from every orifice), and you get a generic action movie with cool fight scenes.

Acting-wise you wonít be impressed. There are times Fonda is great in her role as the strung-out prostitute, but then she is given stupid lines, just seems too dumb, or, well, just doesnít fit in with the story. Li kicks some major ass but, as is the case a lot of times, his lines are just added as filler between fight scenes.

"Kiss of the Dragon" is one of those movies that really has no way to click nicely into a decent action movie filled with intrigue. You get the dumb police dude who doesnít destroy the evidence once he gets it, you get the generic good guy falling for the girl, you get so much gunfire that itís unbelievable the good guy doesnít get killed, and you get a movie that is totally predictable. You also get scenes so unbelievable that they are just funny. "Kiss of the Dragon" almost could have been better if they turned it into a spoof, kinda like "Naked Gun," because I really laughed more than I was engrossed in the plot. As a serious action flick, well, I give "Kiss of the Dragon" 1 Ĺ stars. But, because of the good time I had as things were just so over the top, well, Iíll add a star. That leaves "Kiss of the Dragon" with 2 Ĺ stars. Donít expect a great film, just laugh at the things that our totally out of the realm of reality.

Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

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