Movie Stats & Links
||Steve Zahn, Paul
Walker, Leelee Sobieski
||Leave them at
||She might get
scared and snuggle, but mostly she'll probably just laugh.
||Leelee keeps her
||Mostly it's all
suspense or cars getting bashed.
||Quite a few
although they probably aren't supposed to be.
||It could have been
where Venna was tied to a chair in the motel room, but since
they blew that one, well, none.
||J.J. Abrams, Chris
Alright, if you hate a movie being spoiled a little
and you like a generic "crazy person goes after kids who are
stupid" movie, go and see "Joy Ride." Itís okay,
nothing special, and gives you the same dumb people in a horror
movie that we have now become desensitized with that we laugh at
them instead of get frightened. Stop reading now and head to the
theater. Otherwise, donít blame me for giving away a few things.
A Movie Review
First off, I so wanted the hotel door to open and Venna (Leelee
Sobieski) to get her head blown off. Not that Iím one for
gratuitous violence, alright, I like it in a movie every now and
then, but if you want to change the horror-movie genre, the writers
and directors are going to have to change the rules and let all of
the stupid kids die. Secondly, Fuller (Steve Zahn) should have
gotten plowed into by the truck while he hung on the fence. And
third, Lewis (Paul Walker) should have gotten killed by the cops
when he ran. Thatís how I would have ended "Joy Ride,"
and obviously the things I would have liked didnít happen.
Here we goÖ
So youíve got Lewis. He gets the call from Venna that she
dumped her boyfriend and wishes she could take a long ride in a car
back home so she can decompress. Lewis, being the sappy dude and
wanting to get in Vennaís pants, somehow has a refundable airline
ticket (who has one of these nowadays?), cashes in the ticket and
gets a car. A detour ensues while he bails his brother, Fuller, out
of jail, and looking to kill some time, Fuller has a CB installed.
Thinking it would be fun, Fuller convinces Lewis to pretend he is a
chick called "Candy Cane" on the CB, talking to another CB
dude who has the nickname "Rusty Nail." Well, youíve
seen the previews Ė Candy Cane tells Rusty Nail to meet
"her" in a motel room, Rusty Nail shows up but itís not
a chick but a dude in the room, Rusty tears the dudeís jaw off,
and our boys are scared.
Blah, blah, blah, Rusty Nail scares the piss out of Lewis and
Fuller then disappears, Lewis and Fuller get Venna, Fuller tries to
get in Vennaís pants, and Rusty tracks our idiots down and gets
them to do all kind of wacky stunts because Rusty has now kidnapped
Vennaís best friend.
Where does this movie go wrong? Well, at least for me, most
horror movies have become comedies because you just laugh at how
stupid these people are. How come none of our heroes have a cell
phone? How did Venna get out of all of that tape? What kind of
person chases down, in his ice truck, two kids hauling ass away from
him, down a dirt road, only to give them their credit card they left
at the mini-mart? And why canít the bad guy ever die (oh, yea Ė
"Joy Ride" is just another one of those cookie-cutter
horror films, although it is missing the obligatory nudity (Leelee
did seem pretty chilly during most of the filming, though). You get
some suspense, but mostly youíll laugh because, well, horror
movies just seem to be filled with stupid people. It's main
lesson - Don't fuck with truckers.
If you like the generic horror movie genre, well, youíll
probably enjoy "Joy Ride." If youíre looking for
something different, this isnít it. I give "Joy Ride" 2
Ĺ stars out of 5. Catch a matinee.
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!