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I Know What You
Did Last Summer
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Freddie Prinz, Jr., Johnny Galecki
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Kiddie Movie: Not unless your twisted.
Date Movie: She might get scared and hold your hand.
Gratuitous Sex: Maybe that's what was missing?
Gratuitous Violence: A couple of quality kills, but the same fishhook killing got old.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: I laughed, but I don't think I was supposed to.
Memorable Scene: The first kill with the fishhook was pretty cool.
Memorable Quote: "I didn't know her breasts were so ample."
Directed By: Jim Gillespie
Produced By: Neal H. Moritz, Erik Feig, and Stokely Chaffin

I Know What You
Did Last Summer

A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - R

It's 1:40 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
"Summer Breeze." It was once what would be considered by many of the youth of today as one of those sappy songs from the 70's. Seals and Crofts made it famous, and I'm almost sad to say I can still sing along with it. Well, what do the youth of today do when they don't like something - they change it. And so, this sappy, happy song was spurned into a demon sounding rant by, I believe, the band Type O Negative during the opening sequence for the latest horror/slasher movie "I Know What You Did Last Summer." It was one of the few original ideas, although even it was borrowed, in the film.

Now, slasher type movie either fall into the realm of being original, with new themes on the old "boogie-man" fright, or they try to make fun of the stereotypical themes that must accompany any good slasher film, or those that just take the same pranks and misfortunes and come out as nothing new. "I Know What You Did Last Summer," unfortunately, falls into category three.

Yea, I'll probably ruin a lot of the plot in this summary, but I doubt it. First off, you take four graduating high schoolers, during their last summer at home. You've got the beauty queen - Helen (Sarah Michelle Geller), the practical college girl - Julie (Jennifer Love Hewitt), the rich sports jock - Barry (Ryan Phillippe) (who of course is dating the beauty queen), and the dude who comes from the working class without the big bucks his friends have - Ray (Freddie Prinze, Jr.). Celebrating at the beach, at least they show some responsibility by having the dude who wasn't drinking drive home. Well, driving around the twisting roads, they crash into some other dude, and they think he is dead. What to do, what to do? Man, the cops will never believe the sober dude was driving, their life's are screwed, so they make a pact and decide to dump the body in the ocean where the undertow will drag the body out to sea and it won't be found until the crabs eat it. They stuff the body in the trunk and head down to the marina to throw the body off the pier. Now I'm not a boating person, and correct me if I'm wrong, but how many marina areas have a wicked undertow? Isn't the purpose of a marina area to be calm to dock the boats? I'm sorry, I digress, back to our four lovable graduates.

Well, low and behold, right before they roll the "dead" dude into the ocean, he gets up, but they throw him in anyway. Calmer heads prevail, and they decide to leave the dude for the crabs. Rather than an accident it is now murder. Well, alright, it wasn't murder because a year later, upon returning home, Julie, who is flunking out, she gets a letter simply stating "I know what you did last summer." The killings begin, and the typical scenes ensue. For example, Julie hears a scratching in her trunk, she opens it to find a dead body with a bunch of crabs, she heads for the hills (or at least her friend's house), they return, and the trunk is empty, and spotless (I want to hire the crazy killer simply for his car cleaning skills). Then you've got Barry carefully protecting Helen. He's hanging out in the deserted balcony during the beauty pageant. Yea, you got it, Barry gets the old fishhook while Helen watches, and when the cops finally go investigate there is no body to be found. I won't bore you with more, except to say you might be able to find the sequel out sometime next year, maybe it will be called "I Know What You Did A Couple Summers Ago," because, yes, after the big fight on the boat, and they pull up the fishing nets, all that comes up is the killer-dudes arm with a fishhook. They kind of have an ending after that, with crazy fisherman dude showing up in Julie's shower, but they leave it wide open. After all, you can't kill the boogie-man.

So, did I ruin enough of the movie for you? I mean, the movie wasn't that bad, it just wasn't anything new, and if you couldn't figure out when and where the people were going to get the mighty fishhook, I'm guessing you are one of the 13 year olds I saw in the theater, unaccompanied by parent or adult guardian, who haven't seen the better movies that have done the same scenes first. About the only obligatory slasher movie scene that was missing was the "boyfriend and girlfriend go to have sex in the bedroom only to be interrupted by the killer" scene. Anyway, even without the sex scene (I'm sorry, those scenes on the beach at the beginning don't count), if you were one of those youngin's, or a perverted oldin, you will probably be liking the half-shirts that Helen and Julie wear.

Other than rehashing the same slasher scenes, I guess I was more disappointed by the multitude attempts at suspense and the lack of really good quality kills. I mean, the first time with the fishhook through the chin was pretty cool, but it got a little old after the first couple. That and the fact that they don't seem to be teaching good first-aid techniques (i.e. taking a pulse), in high school anymore. I feel sorry for today's youth.

So, "I Know What You Did Last Summer" gets, hmmmm, hell, I'm in a generous mood today, so I'll give it 2 STARS OUT OF 5. It wasn't bad, and I know a lot of people will probably go see it, but for me I would wait to watch it on cable or maybe rent the video.

That's it for this one, I'm The Dude on the Right! L8R!!

 

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