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Hero
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Jet Li, Tony Leung Chiu-wai, Maggie Cheung, Donnie Yen
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Miramax
Kiddie Movie: You need decent reading skill.
Date Movie: She might wonder why you can't fight like Nameless.
Gratuitous Sex: No nudity, but you sure know what's going on.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of martial arts violence, but nothing gratuitous.
Action: Mostly fighting.
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: Flying Snow pretending she is Storm from the X-Men comics.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Zhang Yimou
Produced By: Bill Kong, Zhang Yimou

Hero
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - PG-13

It's 1:39 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
Iím going to come right out and tell you that Iím giving "Hero" 2 Ĺ stars. Pretty much itís 5 stars as an artsy martial arts film, beautifully shot, with an interesting story and great acting. But Iím giving it zero stars as a movie I want to see Jet Li in, let alone want to read the story (itís in Mandarin with English subtitles), and I still canít take flying people seriously in a movie even though I know it is acceptable, like your "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon."

The story plays out sort of like thisÖ Jet Li plays a guy called Nameless and weíre set up about 2200 years ago in ancient China where the King of Qin (Chen Daoming) is trying to conquer all of the lands to make one great nation of China. Well, Nameless gets to meet the King because he has killed the three assassins who have been hell-bent on getting rid of the good King. So the King wants Nameless to regale him with the stories of how he was able to get rid of these three great warriors, namely Broken Sword (Tony Leung Chiu-wai), Flying Snow (Maggie Cheung), and Sky (Donnie Yen). As Nameless tells each of the stories (we get flashback scenes of the fighting) the King lets him get a little closer to his throne, starting at 100 paces and ending at 10. Nameless finishes his story telling, and the King pretty much says "Bullshit," but not in those words, saying he fought all three of these people, and he doesnít think Nameless could have gotten the job done. So now we get the King telling Nameless his theory on what happened, and we get flashbacks to what the King envisioned happening. Well, the King is closer to the truth, so now Nameless has been called on it and he tells the King exactly what happened, so yea, we get flashbacks to the real stories on what happened between Nameless and the assassins. All of this story telling is done with lots of martial arts action similar to the scenes in "Crouching TigerÖ", you know, the flying around, bouncing on water, slow motion action (which is pretty cool, especially the scene of Nameless cutting through some water droplets) but also done a little too often, and people spinning around. I think you get the point.

This is definitely not a Jet Li movie you are probably familiar with, you know, your "Cradle to the Grave," "The One," "Romeo Must Die," and "Lethal Weapon 4." No, this is Jet Li in a great movie in the Chinese Martial Arts style, but I still canít get into them. I started chuckling as Flying Snow, well, flew, and when she was acting more like Storm from the X-Men in one of her fights, I just couldnít take it seriously. It was interesting to hear the King dissect Namelessí stories, and the flying arrows were really cool, but again, I just couldnít get into it and felt sorry for the poor dude who was going to have to pull all of the arrows out of the wall.

Look, letís warp this up like this: If you liked "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" you will appreciate this movie just as well. If you are looking for Jet Li to dodge bullets and kick the ass of the bad guys, this ainít that movie. Iím standing at my 2 Ĺ stars, averaging my two scores together.

Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

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