Movie Stats & Links
||Tea Leoni, Robert Duvall, Elijah Wood, Morgan Freeman
and DreamWorks Pictures
||Some drama stuff might bore them, and millions of people
get killed, although not graphically.
||She might get weepy and hold your hand.
||Some, when the astronauts are on the asteroid.
||For me, at the stupid people still living on the east
||It was pretty cool seeing New York City getting wiped
||Jenny (Tea) is having a drink with her dad and new
step-mom, after figuring out Earth is on its way out, and
the step-mom says "Life goes on." Jenny replies, "Life goes
on... We'll see."
||Richard D. Zanuck and David Brown
How's this for a fancy reviewer line for "Deep Impact": "Deep Impact"
is one of the most predictable, emotional, roller-coaster rides I
have seen on the big screen since "Titanic." Alright, maybe it
isn't the greatest line, but "Deep Impact" was predictable, hell, it
was about Earth being hit by an asteroid (and we know that happens
from the trailers), and it was emotional (I did find myself anxious
for the astronauts trying to blow the big space rock up, and welling
up a little as people were saying goodbye). But I guess
comparing it too "Titanic" is a little much - as predictable and
somewhat emotional, it wasn't that good, mostly maybe, for me,
because of the stupidity of everyone one Earth who died (except the,
well, people who had to).
A Movie Review
Well, you know what the movie is about - a big asteroid is heading
for Earth - what are we to do? In the case of this group of
Earthlings, we don't seem to do much. In any case, let's start
at the beginning. Tea Leoni stars as Jenny Lerner, an
up-and-coming newsperson who is trying to make her way up the
newsperson ladder. She stumbles on a seeming sex-scandal story
in Washington D.C. (oh, like this is topical anymore?). In any
case, she's ready to blow the story open, but in a secret meeting
with President Beck (Morgan Freeman), he convinces her to hold off
for a couple of days. Get this - she does. Well, the
story comes out that it isn't a sex scandal, but an asteroid is
heading for Earth.
Alright, I can buy it so far, and at this point there's about a
year left before the asteroid hits, and the government has a plan -
send a spaceship with some astronauts to land on the asteroid and
blow it up before it hits. Sounds good to me, and it's ten
months till our astronauts make it there, but our newsgirl Jenny asks
something like "What if that doesn't work." "Don't worry," says
the Prez, "It will." Guess what, it doesn't.
Alright, plan number two, lets shove a bunch of people in a cave
for a couple of years. So, with that, we have the impending end
of life as we know it, and our story has turned from an adventure
film of blowing up an asteroid, to people planning their end.
You get your typical "I'm not leaving you, I'd rather die with you
than live without you" scenes, you've got some scenes of looting and
stuff, and you've got people being airlifted to the big cave.
Then we get some heroes, a big tidal wave, cities being wiped out,
and people surviving. In the end, a nice film, but what was
I'll pose what was wrong by asking a few questions. One,
you've got about a year until a big asteroid is going to wipe out
most of life on Earth for about two years - what do you do? We
sort of used to ask this question back in college, but instead of a
year, you had about 20 minutes because Russia was launching some
nukes. Our solutions back then - drink heavily, head for the
roof, and catch one mean old suntan, or head to the girls residence
hall and say "Hey baby, the world is going to end in 20
minutes. How about you and I end it with a bang!" Some
guys actually tried the latter, without the imminent threat of
nuclear war, and usually ended up being slapped. But, what if
you had a year? Would you trust your survival on the hopes the
government could get something right on the first try? I doubt
it. Me, I'd be digging a cave of my own, and stocking up on the
essentials, things like beer, "Twinkies," matches, and toilet paper.
Alright, I've got a head start on everyone else on my asteroid
shelter, but problem number two - why was anyone still living on a
coast, other than some ambitious surfer dudes and dudettes, when
there were two months from the time of knowing the astronauts screwed
up, and the time the asteroid would hit the earth. Hmm, Earth
is a whole bunch more water than land, and if the asteroid hits that
water it will create one gnarly wave most likely to reach into, like
Ohio on the east coast, and maybe like Utah on the west - I'm staying
in New York City and hoping the asteroid hits the Pacific. Come
on, move your butt to someplace nice and cozy, someplace like the
midwest. As sad as it sort of was, all those people being
washed away to sea on the east coast, I say too bad - you should have
"Alright, Dude, that can't be everything bad with the movie, you
said it wasn't that good." True, there were a bunch more flaws
in human nature in "Deep Impact," but I guess the end problem in the
movie, short of a few good performances, and a couple of cool scenes,
was that the movie lacked the consistency in both from beginning to
end. Don't get me wrong, the movie is pretty entertaining, but
in these days of standards being pushed to another level, pretty
entertaining becomes just another movie, even if millions of people
died (I will say it again - they were stupid).
So, I did like "Deep Impact," even with the stupid people, but in
the end there were too many scenes of not great acting, too many
scenes of total predictability, and too many scenes, well, maybe too
many intertwined story lines - you had the astronauts, the newsgirl,
the kid who found the comet and his chick, families in turmoil, and
oh yea, a big ol' asteroid. It was just too much.
I'll give "Deep Impact" 3 out of 5 stars. It was good, not
great, and it might even bring a tear to your eye.
That's it for this one, I'm The Dude on the Right!!