Movie Stats & Links
||Pierce Brosnan, Linda Hamilton, Charles Hallahan
||Tough call. There's people dying so if your kid has a
problem with that, or gets scared by flying rocks, leave
them at home.
||She might hold your hand during some of the suspenseful
||Linda keeps her clothes on.
||People dying and getting hit on the heads by rocks.
||Plenty once the volcano blows its top.
||Mostly at how stupid the people are.
||The effects are cool when the volcano decides to vent its
It's somewhere about an hour into "Dante's
Peak" and I found myself laughing. Should I have been laughing while
watching a movie about a volcano that blows its top all over a
gorgeous little town? I guess it wasn't real laughter, but the kind
of "I can't believe these people are so stupid" laughter. You see, it
was around this point that the second in command geologist dude,
Harry, played by Pierce Brosnan, convinces his boss that the volcano
is going to erupt because the tap water is brown. When is it going to
blow? At any minute. What do you do when a volcano towering above you
is going to blow at any minute? Well, if you're this little town you
hold an emergency town meeting in the high school gymnasium the next
day at 6 PM to discuss the evacuation plan. Let's see if you can
guess what happens the next day when the "town" is in this gym? Did
you say "earthquake and volcano eruptions during the meeting?" You
get the prize, because that's exactly what happened.
A Movie Review
Now, let's see. You live in this little town where everyone knows
everyone else and this group of geologists invade the local motel
with probably more computer gear than your local school to check the
volcano and see if it is upset. Then you're at home watching the
local news and your mayor, Rachel (played by Linda Hamilton - sorry
for digressing a little, but there is something to be said when your
mayor is good looking, likes to wear short skirts, and makes a mean
cappuccino) comes on TV and says something to the effect that "we'll
be having an emergency town meeting tomorrow to discuss our
evacuation plan because the volcano is going to erupt at any minute."
Would you be waiting until tomorrow to evacuate? Sorry, but me
personally would be like "Honey, grab the kids we're going on a
vacation." And what kind of plan is this when there are like two or
three roads leading into town? Well, needless to say when the
earthquakes start and volcano guts are spewing all over you get an
entire little town that seems to crash in the town square and have to
be rescued by the national guard. Alright, that little intro was a
little long, so let's do a quick story line of the movie.
The movie opens with all kinds of action as Harry and his group of
geologist dudes and dudettes are studying this volcano while it's
erupting. He gets out of the town but not without a little tragedy.
Then, while on "vacation" he gets sent to check out this volcano next
to "the second most desirable place to live in the United States with
a population under 20,000." He sees all of the warning signs, wants
to get all of the people out of town, but his boss says "No." Being
dissed by his boss, Harry contemplates leaving town but instead
starts to fall for the mayor, but then again, who wouldn't? So he
stays to study the volcano, or maybe just the mayor. Well, like I
said before, the volcano erupts, surprise, surprise, the buildings
start to fall, people crash into each other and mass mayhem erupts
with it. Meanwhile, his boss apologizes to Harry, that Harry was
right and he was wrong. Duh? Well, the national guard comes in to
save the day, and most of the people, all except for Harry, Rachel,
and her two kids who went to rescue grandma living high in the hills.
I guess it would have been a lot shorter movie if grandma wasn't so
damn stupid and wanted to stay.
As the lava flow comes crashing through the house our adventurers
make their escape to what is now an acid lake, cruising in a metal
boat. They make it across the lake thanks to grandma, but in the end
they wasted their trip up the mountain. Eventually they get back to
town, but not before the bridge gets washed out, so now they are
trapped and head for cover. They find it, and guess what, they all
Now, don't get me wrong, "Dante's Peak" isn't that bad of a movie,
it's just filled with stupid people. For you special effects buffs,
the volcano blowing up and all the things that go with it are great.
The only problem is you have to sit through a lot of things that make
you glad you have a little common sense because this town sure
doesn't. I'd say wait for the video but the effects will probably be
lost in shrinking to the small screen. I don't think it's worth a
full price ticket, so I guess if you're going to see it opt for the
bargain show or wait till it hits the bargain theaters. All in all
it's 2 stars for "Dante's Peak."
That's it for this one! I'm The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!