I think it is getting harder and harder to know who is white trash these
days. I blame home interest rates being low and the crappy market. Let me
I live in a good, middle-class neighborhood. We all live in nice houses (not
trailers and not manufactured homes which you might associate with the white
trash nation), we have yards, and many of us have kids playing in backyards. We
also have a nice, little, wooded area across the way that once in awhile a deer
comes walking out of to stroll down the street. Well, this peace and harmony was
shattered the other night, around 1:30AM, when I hear someone arguing in the
neighbor’s driveway. Now this is not a stretch since my window was open and
faces the driveway, but I was fortunate enough to hear a good ole, white trash,
fight! And to make it more interesting, apparently the argument was over the
phone so of course it was more appropriate for the fight to be held outside
instead of in the house. Hell, Jerry wouldn’t turn off the cameras if he were
here so why should my neighbor go inside of his house? Remember, white trash
always needs an audience. The argument ranged from needing a paternity test
(although there is no way he raped her since he was out of town that weekend) to
her “ma” spent all the money so she is shit out of luck.
Now don’t get me wrong, this argument was also very educational. I heard the
word "fuck" used in ways I never thought possible, with my world being opened up
to whole new way of using “fuck” as an adjective. There was also a legal lesson.
You see my neighbor "looked it up," he could get her charged with felony
trespessin’ if she came over to the house. I would LOVE to see the local law
enforcement handling that one and would actually grab a lawn chair, pop some
popcorn, and film it for “COPS.”
The argument went on for a good half hour, but apparently he had to cut the
argument short because the pickup truck was running in the driveway. But thank
God he shut off the truck so he could call back and argue some more! Whew! I did
not think a half hour of degrading a woman was long enough and it definitely
needed that half hour more. Really, who would want to miss another half hour of
hearing fuck describe every noun in a sentence! But rather than complain about
the argument I guess I was lucky that night because the neighbor’s fucking
rottweiler shut up that night instead of its normal barking at 1:30AM.
Anyone in the market for a nice, middle-class house?