I’m In The Afternoon of Anna Nicole Smith.

I have gone past my period of mourning and am now into afternoon over Anna
Nicole Smith. I realized that I could not make a convincing argument that I was
the father of her daughter. Too bad. I also have not been able to place any of
my sperm-toting buddies in the same room with her at any point of time to claim
they are the father.

It does seem a damn shame this was never a
"Jerry Springer"
nor "Maury Povich"
episode ‘cuz I love a good paternity fight. Think about it! It would have been
great to see Zsa Zsa up there crying, with mascara rolling down her face, while
Prince Zsa Zsa claimed the baby as his love child. Oh, and let’s not forget good
ole Howard K Stern. I figured he would be picking up a chair and throwing it at
the ex-boyfriend calling him a liar. The whole time Anna would be attempting to
say something that did not sound like "mumbled ramblings." Too bad!

Every time I see Jerry or Maury have a good ole paternity fight I have to
chuckle. I mean loosing track of who you slept with at the same time as getting
pregnant has got to be embarrassing, especially when the 3-4 guys that "have to
be" the father turn out not to be. Oops, my bad. Guess it was the 6th guy (condoms
might be a good idea at this point).

I know sex is fun, but Ladies, have some self respect. A little spermicide
with a rubber policeman (to serve and protect) goes a looooooonnnng way. If you
do not like that idea, then keeping a calendar of who you banged, and when,
could be. This might just help keep track of the papa to be.

I also wonder why a guy would ever trust a woman in the pregnancy department
anyway. I wouldn’t, and I am a woman. Hell, your clock is ticking; the eggs are
running out, you think you are becoming an old hag that no one loves – What will
fix that??? Oh, a baby will! Remember guys, there are actually girls out there
that will advise their friends to get pregnant to trap the guy. Breaking news,
this is not an old wive’s tale, it actually happens (seen it, heard it,
witnessed it)! Tell ya one thing: NEVER TRUST A WOMAN. Unless of course she is a
millionaire, then who cares if you knock her up….she will either pay for your
silence or pay you to play daddy. Can’t lose there, can you?

Now, boys, if you’re the millionaire you can guarantee a baby is coming out
of that deal. Holy crap! That is the jackpot, you will definitely pay for her
silence or, …wait, …there is no other option, you WILL pay for her silence. As
you can tell I am on the boy’s side of this argument, mostly because I am tired
of idiots reproducing. The world is screwed up with most of us in it, why do we
think making a contribution of our genes will make it better? Please, there
should be a screening process. Idiots get fixed (hey, if it is okay for dogs why
not people?) and non-idiots are paired up with another non-idiots to make them

Now wait, I do have to take a moment and feel bad for the baby girl of Anna
Nicole, Dannielynn. She did not ask to be born to the fucked up situation,
although some words of encouragement for her…. it could be worse, Mommy could be
Britney Spears! Hmmm, do I see Britney filling the void Anna left behind! Hell
yes, and I cannot wait to see and read more.

See Ya!