The Dude on the Right
So, tomorrow, Saturday, March 29th, from 8PM to 9PM, if I want to participate in
"Earth Hour," I’m supposed to turn off all of my lights, but what confuses me is
that at the Earth Hour web
site there is a link of what to do when the lights are off, but the link
doesn’t really tell me anything to do during that hour. And with turning
off the lights are they expecting me to also turn off my TV and my computers,
which I consider essential appliances? And with turning off the lights,
and as they add, non-essential appliances, which must not include my TV nor
computers because I consider them essential, I think my microwave oven is
hard-wired so how am I supposed to turn that off? And with turning off the
lights and non-essential appliances (except my microwave), yet leaving my
computer and TV on because I consider them essential, and changing to energy
efficient bulbs, what if, during that hour when I’m trying to change my light
bulbs, I drop one of those new compact fluorescent bulbs, thereby releasing
toxic mercury into the air, how am I supposed to see what I am supposed to clean
up without the lights on? And with turning off the lights and
non-essential appliances (except my microwave), yet leaving my computer and TV
on because I consider them essential, and breaking that compact fluorescent bulb
that I can’t see how to clean yet breath in the mercury, when I fall down the
stairs and break my leg how am I supposed to call 911 since I unplugged my
cordless phone, which at the time I was unplugging things I considered
Suddenly "Earth Hour" has become very complicated, but, as I
reflect back on my life, I’m thinking none of us need an "Earth Hour" to help us
remember to turn off the lights, we just need our Moms, or at least my Mom.
You see, my Mom is the Queen at knowing when we leave lights on, no matter what
part of the house. She will be sitting in her living room chair, see a
large glow as we are leaving the kitchen, and tell us to go back and turn off
the light. She will be sitting in her living room chair, see a subtle glow
from around a corner, bounced off a door and a ceiling, leaving just a smidge of
brightness on a wall that shouldn’t have a smidge of brightness on it, and say
"Did you leave the light on in the bathroom?" She will be sitting in her
living room chair, seeing the remnants of light (and I swear light leaves
"remnants" on your clothes, especially when you are coming from the basement),
thus instructing you to go back downstairs and turn off the light in the laundry
room at the opposite corner of the house. "Earth Hour" pales in comparison
to the "turning off the light" power of my Mom.
Since, though, Mom is in Ohio
and I am here in Illinois, there I will be, tomorrow night, with no lights on,
although my computer, TV, and microwave will still be working. I’ll be
inhaling toxic mercury complete with a broken leg and a non-working cordless
phone, still wondering what I should do with the lights off because the Earth
Hour web site never gave me instructions on something to do during that hour.
And if those Earth Hours folks had at least said something like "Plan to be with
the one you love, turn off all of your lights, pretend it’s a blackout, and do
what you would do in a blackout with the one you love," or in the words of
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, "If you can’t be with the one you love, love the
one you’re with!", well, I’m thinking the worst of my problems might begin to
show about three months from now.
You know what, screw that being with the one
you’re with in a forced blackout like this "Earth Hour," and I suppose the word
"screw" isn’t the appropriate word. Maybe it’s better being curled up at
the bottom of the stairs, with a broken leg, inhaling mercury, knowing my TV,
computers, and microwave still are working, rather than child support some nine
months from tomorrow.
The thing is just listening to my Mom will resolve all
of these potential problems – Turn off the lights and wear a Jimmy Hat (my Mom
is hip, she has an iPod). Listening to her saves money, and future money.
Maybe we just need to listen to my Mom rather than worrying about turning off
the lights for an hour and not knowing what to do.
That’s it for this one!
I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!