The Dude on the Right
As is part of my problem in life I’m shy. The other problem is that I
don’t know the right thing to say until maybe 30 minutes later. That case
in point came about during a visit to The Post Office today when I had the
chance to maybe meet the woman of my dreams. There she was, waiting for
some Passport help, her paperwork in hand, and doing some texting. And as
people are wont to do these days, then she starts a conversation on her cell
phone. Now there are times when people try to be discreet when they’re on
the phone in public, but not my girl, dressed in tight jeans, a tight shirt, and
a giant, silver belt. Nope, she wanted everyone waiting in line at the
post office to know that she was planning on going to Buffalo Wild Wings tonight
because they have some drink specials, and she was pissed at her friend.
She was so pissed, in fact, that she told all of us he had called her the
P-word, was upset he asked if she was having sex with some other dude, then in
her conversation dropped an "F" him," and an "F" that "S," of course not using
the shortened version of the words, but the full-blown F-Bomb and S-Bomb.
What a woman of class! What a woman for me! What a woman I couldn’t
take home to meet mom!
And at the time I couldn’t think of a thing to say.
Sadly there weren’t any little kids around so I couldn’t go up to her and ask
her to watch her language (for the children, of course), and sadly I was in the
line to get stamps rather than get a passport so I couldn’t strike up the
conversation of where she might be going. Also, from her conversation, it
sounded like she might be in college, at least I assume so because she talked
about some classes she was taking and it would be kind of sad if she were 21
years old and still in high school, so maybe I could have offered to help her
with some of her classes.
And then, sadly, while she was still in
mid-conversation, I finally got my stamps and had to leave my dream woman
It was then, thirty minutes later, when I figured out how I could have
made my move: "Excuse me, can you tell me what Buffalo Wild Wings you will be at tonight and at what time? I would really like to buy a woman of your class a
Looks like I let another great girl slip away. Damn.
That’s it for this one!
I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!